the Page 1049 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Meet A-Rod's Lady
Today's Alex Rodriguez update: They've got the name of his lady, and she's a former Playboy model. She's Joslyn Noel Morse, and she was in this issue of "Casting Calls."...

The Entry Ramps To The Stadium Will Be Full Of Sleeping People
It is important that, in life, one have humanitarian instincts. But it is far more important that one has a place to show and pick up stimulants at 3:30 in the morning. Yep: There's a bowl game named after a truck stop. It's the Roady's Humanitarian Bowl. ...

The Otters Are No Longer Satisfied With Their Jug Band Christmas
Beware, everyone: The otters have finally had enough of centuries of human dominance and have banded together to destroy us. It was only a matter of time. We welcome our new otter overlords....

In Case You Were Wondering Whatever Happened To Steve Buechele
For years, for the NBA Draft Lottery, various franchises have trotted out coaches, assistants, GMs, current stars, franchise legends, random puppies, whoever, to represent the team as they find out which tall young person they will pay millions of dollars to. And now that Major League Baseball is ho...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while battling Gamera ... • NBA: Dan-iel Gi-b-son? Cavaliers even series with Pistons 2-all. • MLB: Balk this way ... give it up ladies and gentlemen for Giants reliever Armando Benitez! Mets 5. Giants 4. • Tennis: Roddick now free to sample all the exotic cheeses he wants....

How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter
Problem: Nasty bloggers are spreading your 18-year-old pole vaulting daughter's picture across the Internets. (They can send all the letters to Ufford they want, but you can still find the picture here and here and about a million other places.) Solution: Scream your lungs out about it on the front ...

Probably Just Best To Stay In The Tunnel, Ma'am
What happens when a Canadian attempts to sing the U.S. National Anthem? Nothing short of comedy gold, that's what. We don't know exactly how old this is, or what game it's from, but we've seen enough boring renditions of our country's cherished song to wish that they'd do it this way every time. Any...

Perhaps This Was What Drugged George Foreman
So, in Cincinnati, this dad and his son decided to move their punching bag, and, on a whim, figured they'd find out, you know, what's actually in a punching bag....

Remembering 2005, And Some Payback (Kind Of)
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Somewhere Out There, There's An Elephant With Your Name On It
A few commenters mentioned this yesterday, and we think it's a fair question: When is it OK to laugh? The guy we wrote about who plummeted 75 feet off a cliff in his golf cart was, after all, a real person, with a family and pets and an active Netflix account. But the first thing we thought of when ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as all the clocks slowly begin to melt ... • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. This one decides the series! Let's go! (Shotgun!). [ESPN] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta [TBS]; Chicago Cubs as San Diego. Considering the weather, the Cubs just may stay. [WGN] • Boxing: Women's, junior wel...

That's One Way To Sell A Condo
We don't know Alabama well enough to understand the real estate market, but it's little surprise that one of the main selling points in Tuscaloosa is proximity to Bryant-Denny Stadium, home of the Crimson Tide. And it turns out that a condominium company is using a peculiar strategy to sell their ho...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hiding from the flying robot police ... • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta. The most humid rivalry in sports. [TBS] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J.; Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 2. You know which one you care about watching more. [ESPN] • NHL: Western...

You Dissed Kenny! You Bastards!
The "political" blog Newsbusters has been watching SportsCenter lately, and the folks there are calling shenanigans on tanned, nimble-footed ESPN personality Kenny Mayne. The site puts it thusly:...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch WATCHING JOHN RAMBO... • AFL: New Orleans at Philadelphia. Much, much better than the lawnmower races. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. Some sort of rivalry exists, we read somewhere. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Cleveland at Detroit, Game 1. This just in: LeBron ...

Italy Is Gaining On Us? Inconceivable!
One thing we know about yacht racing: When you change your dock-out song and still lose, it was not meant to be. For the first time in 24 years, there will be no U.S. team in the Louis Vuitton Cup final. Luna Rossa of Italy beat the Americans to clinch the best-of-nine semifinals, 5-1. Yes, we have ...

Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...

A Gruesome End To All That
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while mopping up the loose teeth ... • NBA: For those who didn't watch it — which is pretty much everybody, we have a feeling — Spurs 108, Jazz 100. • NHL: If Emilio Estevez shows up, we're leaving ... Ducks 2, Red Wings 1 OT. • Tennis: Feat Of Clay ... Roger Federer ends Rafael Nada...

Interleague Play Is Back, If Anybody Notices Anymore
We've never had a major problem with interleague play. It's possible this is because our Cardinals get to play the Royals six times a year — and boy could we use the help — but mostly, it's because the game has been so twisted and pretzeled over the last decade that, hey, what's one more switch? Peo...