For The Papas That Aren't Rolling Stones...

If I could, I'd like to take a second and wish my old man a Happy Father's Day. Although, a couple of weeks ago, I wished him a happy birthday in The Debriefing, and the son of a bitch couldn't be bothered to read it. So you know what? I take it back. FUCK YOU, DAD.

Alright, maybe that was excessive. On second thought, "It was about hockey, so I stopped reading," was a pretty valid excuse. I'll let it slide. Meanwhile, for warmer Father's Day wishes, there's probably something very nice going on an Varsity Dad today. Dan, Gabe ... have a good one.

In fact, to all the dads out there, I salute you ... you took young women and made them into MILFs. That's an accomplishment worth celebrating. May your kids be less spoiled and bratty on this day than they normally are. Those of you who have a tradition of watching the final Sunday of the US Open with your dad, enjoy. And for those of you just getting into this parenting business, learn from two role models ... Alec Baldwin and David Hasselhoff.