the Page 1051 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN Hollywood Looms Ominously
Legimate question: If you move from ESPN2's "Cold Pizza" to another ESPN2 show with Mario Lopez, is that considered a promotion? We're just asking. (Correlary question: Would you rather work with Woody Paige or a guy who used to hang out with Screech? Actually, that's kind of the same thing.)...
Jiminy Cricket And The NCAA
We're big fans of BlackAthlete.net, mainly for its unique ability to be 65 percent challenging and compelling, and 35 percent bat-shit insane. Today is one of those insane days....
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. So here's a look at the big news of the week in odd, confusing sports in other lands, with our translation. ...
Yep. She's Throwing A Toilet Seat
We're not going to comment too much here, except to say: Dude! Redneck Games photos!...
Getting Drunk With Joe Theismann
More on new ESPN Monday Night Football analyst Joe Theisman. Last year, a nice blogger man named Paul Katcher came up with the Sunday Night Football drinking game. Highlights:...
Naked Cricket Chicks And Cricket Dudes
If you're the type of person who plays virtual cricket on your PlayStation2 — and, of course, you totally are — you were this close to having yourself quite a treat. The game version of Brian Lara International Cricket — we don't know who Brian Lara is either — was to feature a nude streaker base...
It's Slap Joe Theismann Day!
Yesterday, ESPN announced that its "Monday Night Football" team for 2006 will have Al Michaels and Joe Theismann in the booth. Michaels was a given, but the analyst job was up in the air. And it would be fair to say that Theismann who has a tendency to do to football analysis what Lawrence Taylor ...
Hey, You Got A License For That Thing?
Someone just sent us this photo of America's sports hero Lance Armstrong, in the early days. Nothing much more we can say here....
Toe Rasslin'!
Many aspects of the World Toe Wrestling Championships, held last weekend in England, are hysterical. Here are a few:...
We're Not Gonna Make A Joke ... We're Not Gonna Make A Joke ...
Italy won the Homeless World Cup yesterday. Good for them. (Ahem.) A proud victory. (Cough.) They've done their country proud. (Er, yes.) No reason for any other comment....
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. We all might know what "a blooper to shallow left" means, but to anyone not intimately familiar with baseball terminology, that's just nonsensical babbling. So here...
John Kerry's Worst Nightmare
If you're hanging around East Dublin, Georgia, this weekend — and if you are, be careful of all those disputes with the Irish Republican Army — you would be remiss not to drop by the 10th annual Summer Redneck Games. (We find it infinitely amusing that the event organizers have a Tripod site. We'r...
Bill Plaschke: Original Confidence!
The fantastic satirical folks at Yard Work have the best impression of a column by the LA Times' Bill Plaschke that we've ever seen. It has all the hallmarks: fear of technology, six word paragraphs, awkward usurping of pop culture and, best, hideous metaphors:...
Cricket Star Not Well-Endowed, Kind of Chubby
Warne, whom the British tabloids have been tracking for years, is being divorced by his wife after he was nailed for cheating on his her for the umpteenth time. This in itself is not necessarily newsworthy; athletes, we hear, are known to sleep around a bit, maybe, not sure. But the story here is pr...
Wait ... Where <em>Are</em> You, Anyway?
So we're watching Around The Horn right now. The panelists today are Jay Mariotti, Tom Cowlishaw, Bob Ryan and Bill Plaschke. They've been blabbering on about the NBA Finals for about 10 minutes now. They are reporters, talking about events on their beat, or at least that's the conceit, right?...
Old Japanese Man Moves 100 Meters Without Dying
Personally, we had no idea they kept world records for different age groups. If you have to give an all-time record a qualifier, it's not really an all-time record anymore, now is it? We mean, hey, we own the best time in leaping from couch to rapidly burning pizza in stove by someone aged in the...
Just Asking ...
We're watching the Spelling Bee, and find it amusing that the head judge in a contest for children is judged by a priest....
Justifiable Homicide
Charles Barkley, on TNT last evening: "There's only two people I want to kill. Skip Bayless and Jay Mariotti. One thing I learned about the press is it's a really powerful tool. And your shtick can't be, you get on TV and be evil everyday. Because people believe what you say. And Skip Bayless is evi...
Come See The Silly Sports!
We are but a month away from The World Games. What are The World Games, you ask? They're essentially a yearly audition for the Olympics by all the goofy sports that really would like to make it to the real games....
Kwan Excited About Choking Again
We don't pay much attention to figure skating — obviously — but we have always been amused and befuddled by the intense popularity of Michelle Kwan. (We once knew a grown woman who had pictures of her all over her wall. She was a sensitive sort.) Yesterday, Kwan announced that she will participate...