May We Have A Word, Please?

One of our favorite Steve Martin lines: "Some people have a way with words. Other people, er ... I don't know, not have way, I guess." From Houghton Mifflin comes the list of 100 essential words that every high school graduate should know, and we are very pleased to see two of our old favorites, "feckless" and "jejune," have made the cut. They also snuck in "photosynthesis," which quite frankly is a slap in the face to our religious beliefs. Only God can provide carbohydrates to plants through sunlight!

We also think that the list has given very short shrift to the world of sports. So with that in mind, we'd like to petition Houghton Mifflin to add a few words. How can a 17-year-old head to college without complete command of the following?

• Schrutebag.

• Deadtern.

• Moneyball.

• Affirmed.

• Hyperbolism.

• Krzyzewskiville.

• Fucktard.

100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know [Houghton Mifflin, via Fark]