the Page 944 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Peter King Is Already Manufacturing Dumb Storylines For the 2010 Season
"The logical question for the Saints: Is all this celebrating and spate of parades ... going to go on so long that they affect the Saints' ability to repeat in 2010?" That question leads the league in stupid. [SI.com]...

Blown Threesomes! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Rey Maualuga Feels Up A Dwarf: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

I Was There: Those Aren't Tears, I Swear
Todd C. was at Pat O'Brien's on Bourbon Street and shot some video at game's end that represents the only touching moment in the bar's history that did not involve Rohypnol. He writes in an e-mail:...

I Was There: "... And This Couple Starts Having Sex In The Window Of The Bar"
The bon temps rouler-ed all weekend long in New Orleans, and Mike was there in his bumblebee costume. We're told he's still drunk. Let's pick up his account midstream:...

How Is The Isiah Thomas Era Working Out For Florida International?
Not well: The Golden Panthers are 7-19 and "have sold a total of 1,075 individual tickets for nine home games." At least freshman Steven Miro—who turned down Columbia and Harvard to play for Thomas (seriously!)—is happy....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig, who died Feb. 10, 2003, of acute cocaine intoxication....

Annals Of Improbable Bylines: Liz Phair In <em>The Atlantic Monthly</em>, Writing About NASCAR
The blowjob queen visits the Checker O'Reilly Auto Parts 500: "I've never been to a NASCAR race. I picture a bunch of rednecks dousing themselves with beer and slapping their wives on the ass." Strange loop, indeed. [The Atlantic]...

I Was There: "It Was The First Time I Actually Saw Women Making Out With Cars"
New Orleanian Christian Sauska was there, too, and he sends us the following account:...

I Was There: The Happiest Abandoned Streetcar In New Orleans
In the fourth quarter, after the Saints had pulled ahead 24-17, (I'm told) I ran into Carrollton Ave and stopped a streetcar by standing in front of it and waving my arms......

Watch The Tebow Ad Now: Much Ado About Nothing (Update: With Behind The Scenes Commentary)
And, here it is. After much kicking and screaming, it turns out to be wholly innocuous, with an invite to read "the full story" on their website. Now go send Craggs some hate mail....

Stories That Don't Suck: Starstruck In N.O., Drunk In Indy, Badly Beaten In Yonkers, Gonzo At The Big Game
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

There’s More Than One Way To Fill A Prophylactic! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Dwight Howard's Baby Mama Is The Early Star Of Super Bowl Week
Yesterday's big Super Bowl throwdown: a pool party thrown by T.O., Chad Ochocinco and Ludacris. Strange enough, without the showstopping appearance of the woman involved in a custody battle with Dwight Howard....

BOOOOBS!:A Gripping Photojournalistic Account Of The Monterrey, Mexico, Flashing Incident
The most amusing part of this NSFW gallery of Leah Catherine Spencer, the Lone Wolf of Monterrey, Mexico, are the sweaty guys jockeying for iPhone close-ups and the boundless joy she brought to soccer fans that day. Especially the children....

The Tim Tebow Mailbag: This Is What Happens When You Write About Abortion
Last week, Mr. Craggs dared to express concern about the upcoming Tebow FOTF commercial. He got some mail. Here's a smattering of screeching protest, strident opinions and ridiculous insults about his post on Super Bowl XLI's most talked about ad....

'Remember The Titans' School Forgets How To Count
The Virginia school that inspired the movie has forfeited all their wins because their two star players happened to already complete their four years of high school. Nothing a rousing Denzel speech can't fix. [Connection Newspapers]...

Super Bowl Subplot #6: The Aints Go Marching In
You know how fans of bad teams come to games with paper bags over their heads, because they're ashamed to admit they root for a terrible franchise? New Orleans invented that, because they root for the most terrible franchise ever....

Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...

Even USC's Student-Athlete-Hangers-On Getting In Trouble
Kevin O'Neill fired the student manager who drew a technical during USC's loss on Saturday after yelling at officials. Say what you will about Tim Floyd, but at least he would have spent money on his student "volunteers." [LA Times]...