the Page 945 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Annoying Flying Fish Slaps Woman In The Face
An influx of Asian carp to the Illinois River has given rise to extreme aerial bowfishing, a niche sport combining speedboats with archery. This is what happens when the fish fight back with some extreme aerial moves of their own....

Letter From Durham: Why You Shouldn't Hate Duke, And Why You Probably Will Anyway
The first game of Duke's season, against UNC-Greensboro on Nov. 13, was broadcast only on Fox Sports South, which meant that my friends up North had to wait another few days to get their initial glimpse of this year's team....

"Dead" Wrestler Of The Week: The Ultimate Warrior
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: The Ultimate Warrior, who according to rumor died in 1991. This is an investigation into that "death." [Update, April 9, 2014: He's dead, accor...

Tiger Stands To Earn Someone Some Cash If He Keeps Up Infidelity
British bookmakers have set odds on whether Woods will "kiss an anonymous blonde" before stepping up to the first tee at Augusta. Photo unrelated, we hope. [AP]...

Your Ferocious Middle-School Volleyball Spike Of The Day
Volleyball Spike Gone Painfully Awry is an underrated sports blooper, frequently ignored while its cousin Football To The Groin is heaped with praise. Thankfully, this kid is here to give us all some perspective. [Today's Big Thing]...

Tevez Grabs A Hat-Trick As Expected!
Those who followed The Spoiler's advice by having a little Monday night flutter on the Tevez scoring slippers — you're welcome. Go and treat yourself. Above are the all the goals!...

Why Don't More Famous People Have AIDS?
I went to park my car the other day and the spot I parked in had a parking meter that was out of order. It is ILLEGAL to park in a spot with a meter that's out of order. You'll get a ticket. I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. It's not my fucking fault the meter is out of order. And now we ha...

Because It's On! Dancing With The Stars Week 2 Live Blog
Will Erin Andrews dance again with her lower half covered in silly string? Those who follow the live blog might find this out....

Pole-Dancing With Wolves
Their equipment? Five-inch pumps. Their field? A slippery 25-foot pole. Their mission? To wriggle and writhe along said 25-foot pole. These brave women are high-heeled gladiators in shorty-shorts. Step inside the 2009 East Coast Regional Pole Dancing Championships. [WithLeather]...

Ibrahimovic Plays A Very Literal Back Pass!
Those of you seduced by some cracking Premier League weekend matches probably didn't feel the need to bathe in continental football waters to get your thrills....

Allegedly Smart NASCAR Driver Is "Pretty Sure" The Moon Landing Was Faked
Quoth Ryan Newman, one-time mechanical engineering student at Purdue: "I watched the documentary on it, and it's pretty easy to believe. The flag was standing straight out when there's no wind up there." Your thoughts, Buzz Aldrin? [GN&R, via]...

Augusta's Chauvinism Enabled Tiger, Says Masters Rabble Rouser
Tiger Woods's return at the Masters is fitting, because it's the mentality at that all-male club that drove him to cheat on his wife with an endless parade of floozies. That's Martha Burk's take on it, anyway....

I Was There...Being Paris Hilton's Manslave
Here's an unexpected submission. One of the young men selected to carry Paris Hilton during MTV's Cancun Spring Break shitshow emailed his experience and, I must say, it is something else....

I Was There Spring Break Edition: Strippers In Mexico
In 2007, "Lyle" went to Puerto Vallarta for his last college spring break, this is his story....

Erin Andrews And Her <em>Dancing With The Stars</em> Dude Are "Maybe" Dating
This is according to Maksim "Maks" Chmerkovskiy, who sarcastically told Bonnie Fuller's website last week that he and the Sideline Princess could be more than just reality show cha cha partners. They do seem cuddly....

Are CSKA Sofia The Most Dysfunctional Club In Europe?
For the past year or so, rumours have been circulating Manchester City are preparing to star in their own reality TV show....

Toni Kukoc And Derek Fisher Have Giant Penises, John Salley Says
Courtesy of John Salley, we're told that the NBA's most famous Croatian export is super-hung for a white boy and that Fisher is "six feet tall with a seven foot dick." Gentlemen, welcome to the geoduck club. [SpiderandtheHenchman]...

Shaquille O'Neal, Hipster Icon: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Harold Reynolds Disputes "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story"
Yesterday we published a somewhat ridiculous Spring Break story from a reader named Kevin that featured an odd cameo from MLB Network analyst Harold Reynolds. Shockingly, Reynolds claims the story is bogus....

Barack Obama Did Not Bail Out His Brother-In-Law At Oregon State
Today In Email Forwards From Your Crazy Aunt: Did Barack Obama funnel $17 million worth of federal stimulus money to Oregon State in order to save his wife's brother's coaching job? Uh ... no....