the Page 980 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tom Brady Will Be Ready To Lead The Patriots Again Right After He's Done Getting Fed By The Pool
We've all wondered how Tom Brady will rebound next season given the condition of his knee and the looming threat of Matt Cassel. He looks positively...not worried whatsoever....

Large Bear Picks Steelers, Would Prefer A Nice Salmon
Rocky the Kodiak Bear makes his Super Bowl pick at the Pittsburgh Zoo and Aquarium. Of course, the Steelers box contains tasty blueberries, the Cardinals box thumbtacks. [MSNBC]...

Um, Can This In Any Way Be A Good Idea?
Randy "The Ram" Robinson ... er, I mean Mickey Rourke, to participate in WWE's Wrestlemania 25 in Houston on April 5. His opponent? Possibly Chris Jericho. [Access Hollywood]...

More Fallout From That 100-0 Girls Basketball Fiasco
So the moral of the story, I guess, is if you're the winners of a 100-0 blowout, your coach gets fired. If you're the losers, you get to meet Diane Sawyer. Seems fair....

NY Post Attacks Torre After Book Slams A-Rod
After they gleefully picked apart "The Yankee Years" for some Bronx melodrama , the NY Post follows up their report by assembling various A-Rod supporters to stick up for their hypersensitive superstar....

Torre's New Tell-All Book Sounds Delightful
The New York Post managed to obtain an early copy of Joe Torre's soon to be released tell-all. The book, co-written by Tom Verducci, includes some fantastic characterizations of A-Rod....

Raise Your Hand If You Know The Lyrics To "Grab Them Cakes"
Writer with extremely large brain and embarrassing music collection does an amazingly thorough job analyzing the genius and nuances of "The Wrestling Album". [Mental Floss]...

And Let's Get Bashed In The Face
Second part of the Deadspin Civil War Mayor's bet is complete. This was actually more painful than the tattoo....

Mickey Rourke And His Hair Net Get Oscar Nomination For 'The Wrestler'
Meanwhile, that Benjamin Button drivel gets the nod over Dark Knight, which really chaps my hide. [Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences]...

The Buttsaw That Is The NFC Champion Arizona Cardinals
Well. That happened. If anything this exercise in permanent body desecration has taught me this: I will never, ever bet on the Philadelphia Eagles again....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "Blood In The Cage"
In his new book, "Blood in the Cage, SI writer L. Jon Wertheim examines the furious rise of the UFC and mixed martial arts fighting....

The Lingerie Bowl Is Back On!
Although it's now scheduled for the Saturday before the Super Bowl, Lingerie Bowl VI has risen from the ashes. And it was saved by a nudist resort. I love America. [Monkeys Throwing Darts]...

Pantsless Ski Man Finally Finds Someone Who Won't Laugh At Him
A Colorado law firm attempts to keep the photos of the pantsless ski man from circulating any further across the internet. Good luck with that. [The Smoking Gun]...

If You Build It, They Will Come. But They May Not Leave
We take you now to Lake Township Ohio, where the Mauders will see your replica Eagles field, and raise you a backyard hockey rink....

Matt Sylvester Is The Road Warrior
Ohio State fans know Matt Sylvester as the feisty forward who hit the game-winning 3 that beat Illinois in 2005. Well, his likeness is now available to worship in mugshot form....

Rick Reilly's Beer Pong Adventure Brings Predictable Results
Oh, and "Chase's Mom ATM" is probably not a joke about the bank. In other old guy news — diabolical madman who hired Reggie Jackson to kill Queen Elizabeth now dead. [ESPN The Mag]...

Despite Failure Of 'Pants Off For The Panthers', Fan Will Continue To Remove Pants
Add this to the Arizona Cardinals' list of impressive accomplishments: On Saturday they beat the previously undefeated mojo of the 'Pants Off For The Panthers' movement....

Did Mickey Rourke Juice Up For 'The Wrestler'?
I saw The Wrestler on Sunday, the feel-good hit of 2009 that makes steroids fun again. And speaking of steroids, rumor has it that Mickey Rourke took a lot of them....

Jake Delhomme Knows Exactly What Happened To Him
"The fumble, I credit them," he said. "The guy had his head turned to me and just swiped." Panther swiped. Pitt should really pick up on this. [Winston-Salem Journal]...

So Which Carolina Panther Loves The Whores?
According to PFT, at least one Carolina football player will be named in a huge Charlotte prostitution sting. Panther swipe. [PFT]...