the Page 980 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
SHOTY First Round: Chris Cooley Vs. Caitlin Davis
Just two more first-round matchups until we reach the Elite Eight. We haven't had any truly close matchups yet, though it's early. Today, it's Hot Pants/ Naked Playbook Guy Vs. Hot Pants / Goofy Facebook Lady....
The Cultural Evolution of Brian Collins' Unwanted Catchphrase Continues
Via World of Isaac:...
FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong
Thanks to everyone that sent us pics of this. It's hard to get emotional about Vikings head Brad Childress' son going into the Marines when there's all this flaccid black cock staring me in the face. Pretty sure Heidi Klum has the same problem when she's taping Project Runway, but we're getting off-...
Closerkkake: Those Guys Really, REALLY Like Florida
Florida and Oklahoma appear poised for a showdown in the BCS Championship. Florida dazzled previously-undefeated Alabama with an array of offensive speed and play-calling, set against the backdrop of a tandem suckoff by Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson. Last night was the first time I've heard two...
CLOSERKKAKE! An All-Sports Recap So Good You'll Need To Wipe It Off Your Face!
COLLEGE FOOTBALL: Ball State solved a lot of potential BCS bushwhacking when they shit the bed last night against Buffalo, 42-24. Quarterback Nate Davis, whose was climbing on NFL draft boards faster than Tom Cruise onto Katie Holmes (because he's short, see?), led the collapse with four fumbles and...
The Deadspin Pub Has Its Eyes On Spain
Match of the day: La Liga - Barcelona vs. Valencia at 4:00 on GolTV: The nation of Spain has gotten a bad rap around these parts in recent months for various instances of racism and cultural insensitivity, but of course they still have plenty to offer. Take for example today's match of the day, a La...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
Each day ESPN sifts through its finest reader comments, and chooses the most enlightening example to feature on its home page. This is one of those comments....
How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...
SHOTY First Round: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Mike Singletary
Fridays are always good days for mismatches. Most of you have probably skipped out to do holiday shopping anyway — do they still sell the Tickle Me Elmo? — so it makes voting anomalies less likely....
Matthew Berry, Daytime Thespian, Talks Dirty To Diamonds
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....
And Here Are Your Nominees For Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster of the Year
So the nominees for Playboy's 2009 Sexiest Sportscaster have been unveiled — 30 in all — and besides the usual suspects (Andrews, Lindsay Soto, Krista Voda), there are quite a few additions this year. One of which is Michelle Beisner of the NFL Network, who received unfortunate notoriety two years a...
SHOTY First Round: Chris Berman Vs. Kevin Hart
It might seem odd to some of you that Chris Berman would have such a high seed this year. Wasn't his heyday around 2006, YWML time? Well, I would retort that you've had too much of the deux deux deux....
Greg Robinson Reads Children's Classics
You've gotta feel for Greg Robinson. He seems like a nice enough guy, and by all accounts he's a decent coach. His heart's in the right place, and all that. But if you ever wanted a more vivid picture of what the strain of coaching a major college football team is like, take a look at the video belo...
Michael Phelps' Funky Face Is SI's Sportsman of Year
In case you haven't heard, Olympic water boy Michael Phelps is SI's "Sportsman of the Year" this year, for his astounding 8 gold medals in Beijing. It's not a surprise pick, really, leaving most of the scrutiny for Phelps' spooky-ass Terri Schiavo face currently seen in the online version. According...
Illegal Contact, Packers, 15 Yards And Automatic Loss Of Beer
It's two days later, and all of North Carolina is still in a lather over this Packers fan, who took exception to the Panthers' DeAngelo Williams tossing his touchdown footballs to Carolina fans in the front row of the end zone stands at Lambeau. This one was completed, but the next one was successfu...
Gun Safety Tips From Plaxico Burress
If you're looking for a bedtime story for your children tonight, may we suggest the felony criminal complaint of one Plaxico M. Burress. (It needs the initial, don't you think?) It's very short, but also very compelling and there's a life lesson in there for all of us. Namely, put down the wine befo...
SHOTY First Round: Brett Favre Vs. Baby Mangino
All righty, kids, holidays are over, you have the next month of craziness to streak through — I never notice December has started until it's over — and it all begins now. Time to get serious, people. And nothing's more serious than SHOTY voting....
Plaxico Burress Update: He Still Has A Hole In His Leg
Do you remember a couple of years ago when Dick Cheney shot that guy and the basic facts of story were so utterly ridiculous that all you had to do was say "The Vice President of the United States shot a man in the face" and that counted as both a joke and a serious analysis of the situation? That's...
Your Plaxico Burress Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound Update
So a few more details seem to be emerging about the bizarre "Plaxico shot himself at a club" story. The New York Post is now reporting that the incident took place just after midnight on Friday at a club called Latin Quarter in Manhattan, while Plax was out on the town with teammate Antonio Pierce. ...
Welcome To Black Friday, America's Own Running Of The Bulls
Some of you are not old enough to remember the Cabbage Patch Riots of 1983, a dark time in our history when lawlessness ruled; where roving gangs of middle-aged women in housecoats would beat you senseless for a children's doll. Above is one of my favorite videos of all time, in which, at about the ...