ti Page 1694 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cristiano Ronaldo’s New Nike Mercurial Vapours Look Awful
Stylish young man Cristiano Ronaldo proudly unveiled his horrific new safari-print football boots yesterday (click the pic for a closer look.)...

Peeper Videos Of Kevin Durant Are A Dumb Viral Something Or Other For Nike
Here's a peeping Tom-style video, supposedly shot by this kid, in which Kevin Durant supposedly moves into what's supposedly his new house. It's an ad for Nike. Because that's all anything ever is anymore....

Heat Strokes, Game 2: Moon Over Miami
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

A Brief History Of <em>FIFA</em> And <em>Pro Evolution</em> Soccer
Following on from the unnecessary video game references in yesterday's posts, The Spoiler thought this was too good to be hidden away in the link dump....

How A Notre Dame Student Died, And Why He Shouldn't Have
At precisely 4:50 pm, a 50-foot scissor lift tower collapsed in winds exceeding 50 mph, killing the 20-year-old student filming football practice for the team. It shouldn't have come to that....

For Those Of You Who Still Don't Think Pat Burrell Is The Gimp-Costumed "Machine"
Here's more proof: The Fightins got their hands on an old photo of Pat The Bat dressed in the gimp outfit seen in Brian Wilson's odd video. The story behind Burrell's get-up is predictably strange. Go read it. [The Fightins]...

Uribe's Homer Helps Lead Giants To Game One Victory, California Smokers To Free Doobies
A medical marijuana dispensary in San Francisco is offering patients free joints every time a Giant hits a home run in the World Series. Commendably, Tim Lincecum was still in the dugout immediately following Juan Uribe's fifth-inning blast....

Heat Strokes, Game 1: Should This Diary Be What You Want It To Be?
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

The Most Entertaining Meltdown By A College Football Color Guy In History
Spencer Hall asks us to keep Florida Atlantic color commentator Dave Lamont's spazgasm in perspective: "After all, it's not every day you challenge an entire pressbox to a fight in the middle of a game." Noted.[SBNATION]...

Notre Dame Students Plan To Rush The Field For Historic Loss
The Fighting Irish are perched on the brink of an unprecedented accomplishment: the losingest class in school history. Clearly this must be celebrated....

Grow Up and Drink Something Fancy, Manly
You've moved out of Mom's basement, so it's time to order something at the bar that doesn't come in size "yard." Try a Rusty Nail. It's fancy and manly, and an 18th-century rebel prince ran from England to Scotland with the recipe for Drambuie in his knickers—all so you could enjoy this very cocktai...

What We Have Learned About Brian Wilson And The Machine (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we alerted you to our investigation into Brian Wilson's strange relationship with someone called The Machine. We have since received many leads about the identity of the Machine and just what it all means....

Silencing Joe Buck And Tim McCarver: A Simple Tech Solution To Our Crappy World Series Announcers
Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, Fox's World Series broadcast team, will begin inflicting themselves on a national television audience tonight. Thankfully, technology offers recourse that doesn't involve throwing something heavy at the TV: just synch up the broadcast with radio commentary....

Your "Ah, Hell, Let's Just Root For The Comet" NBA Heat-Celtics Open Thread
The NBA season kicks off tonight. It was quite an offseason, but Juwan Howard's title quest begins in earnest tonight. Comment along as you watch and talk about the other games, too....

Jeff Fisher, Private Eye, Goes Clubbing
A day after Kenny Britt got involved in a scuffle at a Nashville nightspot, Fisher went to Karma Lounge — at midnight — and did his own investigation. His findings: Waka Flocka Flame is about to blow up. [Tennessean]...

Elaborate Goal Celebration Sees Your Sharpie And Raises You A Compact Car
Antoine Griezmann of Real Sociedad may be an up-and-coming French soccer star, but that doesn't excuse this ridiculous celebration after his header put the White and Blue up two-nil on Deportivo. Act like you've been there before, young man. [Hot Clicks]...

Liverpool Breaks Out The Old "Finger Up The Arse" Goal Celebration
Did Maxi Rodriguez give a teammate a bit of amateur proctology? This is apparently a real topic of discussion....

Kobe Bryant Is Going To Be The Next Brett Favre
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Kobe Bryant....

Weekend Winner: The Guy Who Won A PGA Event With A Goddamned Hole-In-One
Going into the fourth sudden-death playoff hole, tied with two other players, Jonathan Byrd teed off. That was all he needed....

The Brian-Wilson-o'-Lantern Never Caught On, As It Invariably Made Kids Wet Themselves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....