ti Page 1693 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Michael Beasley Did Not React Well To Seeing His Injured Finger
In the context of today's injuries, this one's relatively tame—but Michael Beasley's "Oh shit! That's my bone!" reaction to a finger injury (reports say it was a laceration, one patched up with a few stitches) is priceless. ...
Sunderland's Ji Dong-Won Delivers Last-Second Winning Goal, Then Makes Out With A Fan
Sunderland continued a giant-killing weekend in the English Premier League by stunning Manchester City in the final seconds of stoppage time with a goal by Ji Dong-Won....
Jason Taylor Says Goodbye To Miami Fans With Message On His Forehead
Oh, sorry—that's a billboard. My mistake. Moving on, Taylor announced earlier this week that today's game would be his last. As has become custom in sports, the retiree is the one who gives thanks on his way out and Taylor is no different....
Let's Celebrate The New Year With Auburn's Statue Of Liberty Play
There's never a bad time for a trick play, and Auburn tied up the Chick-Fil-A Bowl in Atlanta with a picture-perfect Statue of Liberty. Happy New Year in the United States of Football. [ESPN]...
ESPN's SkyCam Becomes Self-Aware, Starts Attacking Iowa Players
It was bound to happen eventually: the wire-suspended ESPN SkyCam came crashing to the ground late in Friday's Insight Bowl in Tempe, nearly decapitating Iowa's Marvin McNutt and leaving the Worldwide Leader's Sean McDonough to apologize with a sheepish "Sorry folks."...
Brock Lesnar Just Retired From UFC. Here's Why (And The Official Announcement)
Here's the shot from Alistair Overeem that knocked Brock Lesnar out of UFC (along with Lesnar's announcement that made it official). The announcement seems to have come a fight too late, given how miserably Lesnar managed to defend himself against Overeem's strikes. Bon voyage, real-then-fake-then-r...
Johny Hendricks Knocked Out Jon Fitch In Ten Seconds
Actually, it was more like one second, as it was a single punch from Johny Hendricks that took Jon Fitch out of their welterweight match at UFC 141....
2011: The Year We Became The United States Of Trolling
Well, that about wraps up yet another shitty year of the new millennium. I don't know about you, but I personally can't wait to see what future shitty years have in store: rising water prices, a sharp growth in armed RoHoWa militias, a new Pitbull album ... everything shitty is on the table, people....
Michael Floyd's Champs Sports Bowl Catch Was An Exquisite Juggling Exhibition
The first half of the Champs Sports Bowl in Orlando was a bore, but Notre Dame receiver Michael Floyd spiced things up with this juggling TD grab early in the second half, a catch that put the Irish up 14-0 on the sputtering Florida State Seminoles. [ESPN]...
Prince Fielder And Tim Lincecum Want Long-Term Deals, Andrew Bailey Is Thinking Music, And More From Around The Hot Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...
Floyd Mayweather Jr. Bet $1 Million Against Tim Tebow
Two weeks ago, the New England Patriots walked all over the Denver Broncos in a 41-23 win. More importantly, Mayweather got rich—well, richer. The Las Vegas Review-Journal reports that Mayweather had $1 million on the Patriots. The director of the Cantor Gaming sports book at the M Resort, Mike Colb...
Soon, ESPN Will Be Nothing But 24 Hours Of People Disagreeing With Skip Bayless
You should read Richard Deitsch on Dana Jacobson's defenestration from ESPN's First Take—as a co-host, she was to Skip Bayless what Dave Garroway was to his pet chimp—but you should really read this ESPN interview with First Take producer Jamie Horowitz, which is a stupid little fractal of everythin...
Bengals Avoid Local TV Blackout With "Buy One, Get One Free" Ticket Promotion
Oh, Cincinnati. Oh, oh, Cincinnati. You are supposed to be one of our great metropolises. And your upstart Bengals are supposed to be one of the AFC's brightest spots. Your fans are supposed to be passionate and steadfast....
ShortCenter: ESPN Manufactures One Last Tim Tebow Story Before The Year Is Out
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Watch A Canadian Junior Hockey Team Humiliate Team And Country With A Bieber Christmas Song
Ladies and germs, the Edmonton Oil Kings with "All I Want For Christmas" featuring Mariah Carey, Justin Bieber and bunch of fellows who want to grow up and be the next Tomas Vincour....
This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Hope the Christmas weekend treated erbody from altar boys lucky enough to grab the Mass that lands a big tip to nihilists who torched candy canes on principle (or lack thereof) well. This week's roundup, as expected, was littered with some holiday imagery. Like Mark J.C.'s, who sent this "Merry Xma...
Cam Newton > Tim Tebow
On the McLaughlin Group on Sunday, the panelists were giving out year-end political awards, and Rich Lowry, the guy from the National Review last seen wiping starbursts off his khakis, gave one to Tim Tebow, for being the most exciting thing in American sports right now, or some such thing. It wasn'...
"I'm Not Coaching After 2017!" Rick Pitino Prematurely Ejaculates
Rick Pitino announced today that he will stop coaching once his Louisville contract runs out after the 2016-17 season: "When you're 59, you're realistic that you don't have a whole lot of years left," Pitino said at a news conference before the No. 4 Cardinals play Georgetown on Wednesday. "My contr...
A Plea For TV Networks To Show People Running Onto The Field
Big thank you to Drew for letting me guest this Funbag. Normally my day is filled with exploiting my elderly father for money (see: Shit My Dad Says), so it was a welcome diversion. I also used to write for the TV show of the same name, until America was like, "GOD FUCKING STOP THIS SHIT TAKE IT OFF...
Dottie Sandusky Maintains Her Husband's Innocence, May Go On Oprah With Him
Dottie Sandusky, who publicly defended her husband's innocence for the first time earlier this month, may join Jerry for another televised interview after the new year. Jerry Sandusky's lawyer, Joe Amendola, told the Harrisburg Patriot-News this week that the two may sit down with Oprah, Barbara Wal...