ti Page 1699 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Wants To See Bulls Gore A Few Colombians To Death?
The money quote from this Reuters video about the annual "corraleja" celebration in Sabanalarga, Colombia:...

Triple H Bangs On Doors To Get Votes For Mother-In-Law Linda McMahon
Well, if Linda McMahon's Facebook page is to be believed, she's unleashing a practitioner of the "Inverted Indian deathlock" on the voters of Fairfield, Ct. this morning....

So, What's Mrs. Tom Brady Doing With This Guy Who Isn't Mr. Tom Brady? (With Update!)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is A Photo Of Danzig Wearing A Danzig Shirt After Buying Cat Supplies
Glenn Danzig is Glenn Danzig from the band Danzig. Therefore, it is surreal to see Glenn Danzig wearing a t-shirt that promotes the band Danzig. It is doubly surreal when Glenn Danzig of the band Danzig wears a Danzig t-shirt while carrying—or possibly returning—various cat supplies....

This Is What Happens When Three NBA Players Appear On The Fox Business Network
Andre Iguodala, Josh Smith, and Russell Westbrook stopped by the Fox Business Network to promote NBA 2K11 and were ambushed by a strange British man who asked leading questions about paying taxes. Awkward and informative. [SB Nation, Free Darko]...

The Tiger Woods Sex Tape Has Been Bought, Says Woman In Sex Tape That May Not Exist
Devon James has allegedly sold a sex tape—that no one else has seen—in which she co-stars with Tiger Woods and from which she'll receive half the profits. Quoth the lady, "It's going to be the bomb." Word. [Radar]...

In Which We Defend The Sports Fella, And Piss Off Animal Rights Activists
I don't think I've ever seen so much backlash against a Bill Simmons column as there's been for his "I'm rooting for Michael Vick" screed today. I'm not sure it's warranted....

Tiger Woods Is Probably Thinking What You're Thinking Right Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Twins Joined The "Humiliating Rookie Costume" Parade
September call-ups are probably the best thing about the waning days of the MLB season, whether you're a contender or a basement dweller. It's all thanks to the time-honored tradition of humiliating the rookies....

God, Cincinnatians Must Be Miserable People
Celebrating their first division title in 15 years, some members of the Reds lit up victory cigars in the clubhouse. No fewer than five people watching on TV promptly called the health inspector to report a violation of the city's smoking ban....

Mariotti Pleads No Contest
Jay Mariotti pleaded no contest to a single count of misdemeanor domestic violence; the six remaining charges were dropped. Says his attorney: "Today's resolution ... ends the matter once and for all." Right. No one will ever mention this again. [LAT]...

Tough-Talking Gators Fan Might Be Legally Prohibited From Attending Game
Remember that obnoxious Florida fan who challenged the state of Alabama to a fight and warned them about his karate skills, all the while wiping off palm sweat due to his close proximity to a woman? He's allegedly on probation in Florida....

Athlete Goes To School Where Athletes Get Laid
The class of 2011's top recruit has committed to Duke. I WONDER WHY....

Last Night's Winner: Pedro Martinez, The Only Tolerable Part Of Ken Burns's <em>Tenth Inning</em>
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Pedro Martinez, whose small bit of screen-time yesterday was the only part of Ken Burns's sad-bugle-and-Bob-Costas extravaganza that was worth a damn....

For Sale: Tiger Woods Sex Tape: $350,000
That's what Mistress # +/- 11, Devon James, claims is the cost for 67 minutes of filthy coitus between her and Eldrick (and a third party) from 2008. She claims if Vivid doesn't buy it, she'll release it independently. [RadarOnline]...

NFL Superperson Ray Lewis Runs with the Bears. Well, a Bear.
And the bear matches the superperson stride for stride. Then it smiles. Then it talks! Then something blows up. Even though they just ran the length of a football field, the bear and the superperson smell fresh and snappy because of Old Spice Showtime Deodorant....

What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do With Judah Friedlander?
Greetings, faceless demographic. So the folks at HarperCollins are trying to promote Judah Friedlander's book "How To Beat Up Anybody" and I'm having trouble trying to figure out how to promote it. It doesn't help that the publicist lady referred to the site as "Deadpin" several times....

Pat Tillman's Brother: "I Wish He Would've Just Lit These Fucking Idiots Up With His Own Gun"
Richard Tillman appeared on Real Time With Bill Maher over the weekend, and, like the rest of his family, Richard still plainly refuses to grieve in the officially sanctioned manner. It's maybe the only life-affirming thing about the whole affair....

Lions Player Holds Up One More Finger Than His Team Has Wins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Let's See What Happens When A Baltimore Oriole Meets A Flight Attendant
And now, a feel-good post to close the day....