ti Page 1698 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bills Fan's Cock 'N' Balls Make The Newspaper (SFWish)
Check out junior in the Posluszny jersey. Now check out his crotch, you pervert. At least it's Buffalo, so he can always have the "it was cold" excuse....

Peyton And Eli Manning Are: <em>Football Cops</em>
Our tipster grabbed these photos and videos of the Brothers Manning filming in Greenpoint, Brooklyn last month. (He then promptly gave them to TMZ, which posted them much faster than we did.)...

Tim Donaghy On Game 6: Wandering Eyes
As he did for us last year, Tim Donaghy, a contributing writer for The Sports Connection (www.DannyB.info) and a former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarte...

Lance Armstrong Stepped To Tyler Hamilton Outside A Boys Room In Aspen On Saturday
For a man with one testicle, Lance Armstrong has enormous balls. This past weekend, Armstrong all but challenged his former teammate and current nemesis, Tyler Hamilton, to a duel outside the bathroom of a swank Aspen restaurant. Hamilton was in town to lead bike rides for Outside magazine and dine ...

104-Year-Old Woman Celebrates Birthday At Tigers Game, Wastes Her Life
Her birthday was actually last month, but that game was naturally rained out. So yesterday Mary Johnson braved the 50-degree temperatures to take in her first Tigers game since 1936. The Tigers lost, of course....

At Least One Newspaper Thinks The Heat Won
They're looking to punch every one of you in the gut with a Macy's ad congratulating the Heat on their title, and offering championship gear for sale. Which...still doesn't really make a lot of sense, considering that if Miami had won last night, the series would still be going on. Oh well. Instead ...

The Twitter Flameout Of Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner
SB Nation discovered ol' Harvey on Twitter on Friday. By Saturday, he had called it a Twitter career....

Bill Plaschke Tries Bill Simmons On For Size
With today's game six preview column, Plaschke has entered the pantheon of writers who write like Bill Simmons....

Facing the Lockout, <em>Madden</em> and NFL Fans Seek a Common Refuge
At E3 this week, the sight I was least prepared for was that of Ray Lewis in full Baltimore Ravens uniform: eye-black, skullcap, gloves, wristbands, everything. This was an appearance for Madden NFL 12 but to him, it didn't look… [Kotaku] ...

In Wrestlemania VI Rematch, Ultimate Warrior To Yell At Hulk Hogan A Lot
The Ultimate Warrior (legal name: "Warrior") is pissed at Hulk Hogan for something or other. That includes a handful of YouTube videos, recorded on his desktop camera in his den like so many American teenagers. I'm not sure exactly what he's mad about, because I'll be damned if I'm going to watch ...

Hungover Rock Climber Poops Hisself
Here, watch this. It's old. But it's good! It also has poop. Whatever, it's a summer Friday....

And This Is Why We Need Grantland
If you haven't yet read Charlie Pierce's Grantland essay about his time at The National, you should, and not just because it's Pierce hanging out in Bill Simmons's house, and not just because it's the best appreciation of the much-appreciated National you'll find. You should read it because it's ess...

Tim Donaghy On Game 5: Earning The Offensive Foul
As he did for us last year, Tim Donaghy, a contributing writer for The Sports Connection (www.DannyB.info) and a former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarte...

Sporting KC's First Home Goal Was Scored By A Cow
More precisely, a streaker in a cow costume. That's how the rebranded SKC opened Livestrong Park. It was to be the only goal on a rainy night, so we don't think the fans are booing as the cowman is dragged off the field. We think they're mooing. [h/t Kyle, others]...

Far Better Than This Goalie Scoring Is The Suspiciously Laid-Back Commentary That Accompanies His Goal
Goalies don't often score, especially not from the hinterlands behind the halfway line. But when they do, they should all be so lucky as to have two exceedingly mellow West Indian commentators celebrate their exploits. The particulars of this goal come to us from tipster Sam F, who reports that th...

Joba Will Be Neithuh Startuh Nor Relievuh Fuh A While
Everybody's favorite so-so Yankee swingman, Joba Chamberlain, was diagnosed today with a torn elbow ligament that will likely require Tommy John surgery....

Alex Ovechkin's Summer Diet: Hookah, Beers, And Fried Steak
There's nothing illegal or even wrong with what Ovechkin's doing here—nonetheless, one must wonder how perhaps the best athlete in the NHL stays in shape doing this....

The Mutton Bustin' Season Is Officially Open
It's that time of year again, when small hapless children have their skulls driven deep into the dirt by disdainful mutton. And then we laugh at them (the children). But we're not merely laughing at pain in a public setting. No, we're also celebrating mutton. Look at the disdainful expression on th...

A Comprehensive Analysis Of Grantland's Diction So Far
Grantland has now been live for almost 30 hours, which means that any impressions of the content of the site are going to be largely based on preconceived opinions and biases. The above word cloud and following word frequency analysis are asinine, which is the point....

The Tropicana Casino In Atlantic City Is Being Devoured By Sharks
The Tropicana Casino and Resort in Atlantic City was bankrupt in 2009 when billionaire corporate raider Carl Icahn sidled up with $200 million to buy the joint. After New Jersey approved Icahn's bid in 2010, the Tropicana embraced a new strategy: high stakes table games. (You can now bet $50,000 on ...