ti Page 1712 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lovable Psychic Octopus To Be Exploited Further
Paul the Octopus—prognosticating scamp and cephalopod—won our hearts during the World Cup. His ability to pick mussels has landed him a print advertising campaign for a supermarket chain. The ad, pictured, roughly translates to "Where they buy today? Good decision."...
Strasburg Usurper Manages To Offend Beauty Queen
Miguel Batista managed to offend hundreds of Washington D.C. baseball game attendees Tuesday when he had the gall to make a spot start in place of D.C.'s Lord and Savior, the very much injured Stephen Strasburg. Then he went and dissed Iowa....
Icky Icky Blowjob News From The Pitino Extortion Trial
Let's check back in with Matt Jones of Kentucky Sports Radio, and today's oral sex update — featuring visual aids!...
Father Of The Year Makes Daughter Pose With Barracuda That Ripped Her Flesh Open
This happy fellow is Rob Parker, with a 42-inch long barracuda that he caught. This traumatized girl is his 14-year-old daughter, who was the bait. He made sure to get this photo before they went to the hospital. (Bloody, NSFW-ish photo inside.)...
Is Bryce Harper's Facebook Page Real?
The Washington Post asks the same question, but Harper's page appears to be so good it has to be a parody. Whoever it is, they sure love putting exclamation points and various : ) emoticons in their updates. Maybe he's a 13-year-old girl?...
Rony Seikaly Thinks John Salley Is A Brilliant Storyteller
The former Heat center vehemently denies the conversation John Salley relayed in last week's introductory "John Salley Story Corner." Great start!...
The Scapegoating Of Arash Markazi
I suppose ESPN's explanation here is reasonable, but is it any less damning than all those black-helicopter theories floating around for the WWL to say, in essence, "Our glimpses into the lives of famous people must be authorized"?...
Tim Tebow Rich In Spirit, Actual Money
The Broncos inked their 4-snaps-a-game QB of the future to 5 years, $33 million (max) — $8.7 million guaranteed. That's a lot of tithing....
Female Kickboxer Is Killed At Sloppily Organized Tournament
Sunday in Orlando, Lindsay Scheer fought Adrienne Simmons in the Muay Thai lightweight women's final of the International Kickboxing Federation National Amateur Tournament. The two women were not evenly matched. Lindsay Scheer won the fight. Adrienne Simmons died....
Attention Nationals Fans: You Don't Deserve Stephen Strasburg (Disappointed Newlywed Update)
I don't mean that in some kind of larger, cosmic sense. I just mean that if you came out to the ballpark Tuesday, expecting to see Strasburg pitch, the team doesn't owe you anything after scratching him from his start....
ESPN Killed That LeBron Story Because Reporter "Did Not Properly Identify Himself" (UPDATES)
ESPN now says in a statement that Arash Markazi's LeBacchanalia story was pulled because "Arash did not ... clearly state his intentions to write a story." Full statements are below, as is Rob King's explanation for how the story was mistakenly published....
Ultimate Frisbee Highlights Are The New AND1 Mix-Tapes
Counterpoint! This video shows Beaufort Kittredge—the ultimate in Ultimate Bros—"skying" an opponent during his days playing handler for the Colorado Mamabird. I now understand why people go to college in Boulder and like Medeski Martin and Wood....
Checking Back In With Rick Pitino's Sperm
"Defense attorney asks how could she have become pregnant then if he did not ejaculate. Pitino testifies, 'I did, down my leg.'...
Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Pluto, Thinks Stephen Strasburg Is A Wuss
Bunning, onetime pitcher and current obstreperous shitbag, waggled his cane yesterday at young Strasburg: "Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball. What a joke!" Then he clutched his shoulder and cried, "My arm!" That was either sarcasm or thrombosis. [Politico, via]...
Scenes From LeBron's Too-Hot-For-ESPN Weekend In Vegas
A reader sends along these photos from the LeBacchanalia in Vegas. No naked ladies, but there is a man floating away to some casual Friday in the sky, and everyone seems to teeter precariously on the verge of fist-bumping everyone else....
When Mutton Bustin' Goes Horribly Wrong
Derekscott "Bubba" Kirby is like all small children in the Southwest: he's a mutton buster. However, unlike most mutton busters, little Derekscott is infected with E. coli....
Rick Pitino Lasted 15 Seconds, And Other Things Of Note
Pitino took the stand today in the case of the woman accused of extorting him, and hot-damn, this case just keeps on giving....
Why ESPN's Statement On The LeBron Story Is Probably Bullshit
If you don't buy ESPN's line that Arash Markazi's spiked LeBron-in-Vegas story "was inadvertently put on the server" and didn't go through "the usual editorial process," here's yet another reason not to: The story pretty much went through the usual editorial process....
Chad Ochocinco Might Have Disproportionate Expectations For This Season
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco....
Maverick Carter Rules The Universe, And Other LeBron James Vegas Story Conspiracy Theories
The Twitter conspiracy theorists weighed in on ESPN's curious (but not surprising) decision to spike Arash Markazi's Most Excellent Vegas Vacation With LeBron Inc., piece and pinned it on LBJ's business henchman, Maverick Carter. Fun idea but probably not the case....