ti Page 1712 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....

The Washington Nationals's Big Off-Season Signing Is Batting .250 And Possibly Sitting To Go Number 1
Jayson Werth, the Washington Nationals's $126 million right-field prize, went 1-for-4 with one strikeout in his Beltway debut, a 2-0 loss to the Atlanta Braves....

Timing The Trots For Six Famous Home Runs; Or, Bo Jackson Will Blow Your Mind
As a Brewers fan, it's pretty common to hear from others around the NL Central that no one is worse at watching and admiring his home runs than Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun. And while I can understand where these Cards and Cubs fans are coming from, I don't completely agree. After all, I get to see...

Take A Look At Tim Lincecum's Brand New Jordanesque Logo
Tim Lincecum will be on the mound (and on the Magazine cover) as the Giants open their season this evening with an 8 p.m. EST game against the Dodgers. There's always been something about Lincecum that suggests an aversion to selling-out or going for products (it's the long hair; I'm stereotyping) s...

Watch A Frat-Boy Flyers Fan Flip The Fuck Out On His Bros
Brah here goes to Penn State. When he went out to study for a "very important test," Brah's bros covered his bed with, per the summary of whomever posted this video, "hundreds of plastic solo cups." Dude....

Alleged Gang Rape Of Daughter Drives Former Pro Rugby Player To Decapitating Axe Murder
While South African officials aren't identifying him by name, this much is clear: A 34-year-old former player for the Blue Bulls rugby team has been arrested "in connection with at least three axe murders."...

<em>Madden NFL 12</em> Said to Include Concussions to Present a Safety Message
Remarkably, Madden NFL 12 will depict players suffering concussions, according to the president of the NFL Players' Association, but apparently in a manner that reinforces the seriousness of the injury and the message that playing through one is not a… [Kotaku] ...

Here's Tim Tebow's New Jockey Ad, Kind Of
With apologies to King Herod, we've provided a slight edit to possible NFL starter and definite advertising boon Tim Tebow's brand new Jockey ad. The company released this spot today, and it is somehow even more reverential and vanilla than we ever could have imagined it to be. When Tim Tebow is m...

Roberto Clemente's 3,000th Hit, In Glorious Graphic-Novel Form
The following is excerpted from Santiago's 21: The Story of Roberto Clemente, a gorgeous graphic-novel biography of the martyred baseball great. Clemente got his 3,000th hit on Sept. 30, 1972, three months before he died in a plane crash. You can watch video of No. 3,000 here; Santiago's rendering b...

Four Cans Of Corn Will Get You Two Tickets To A Timberwolves Game
Attention, fans of canned vegetables who will also tolerate watching the Minnesota Timberwolves play a game of basketball: buy four Butter Kernel cans of your choosing for a bargain three dollars (string beans, collard greens, you name it), and you can get two tickets to see the 17-53 Timberwolves i...

Ken Rosenthal Will Wear A Bow Tie All Year
We generally appreciate Rosenthal, even if he does on occasion throw some shit at the wall. We're therefore delighted to see he'll be making the bow tie a permanent addition to the wardrobe, at least for this season. And it's for a good cause....

VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....

Reader Robert "Beats Off" To This Czech Woman And Would Appreciate It If You Did, Too
We get tips. Lots of tips. And, don't get me wrong, they're the backbone of this site. But sometimes these tips reveal personal details about our readers. Like flicky Robert, who shared his feelings about Zuzana, this intimidatingly vascular woman in the pink tanktop....

Weeklong Ochocinco/MLS Publicity Stunt Culminates In Predictable Publicity Stunt
We honestly love Chad Ochocinco without reserve. He's like if a little kid wished to the Big fortune teller machine to be a pro athlete, and got it. His actions seem genuine, so we weren't as turned off as a lot of people by his experiment with Sporting KC, to see if he still had his soccer skills f...

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 12: The Masters is an Experience Unlike Any Other
My first visit to Augusta National broke the club's dress code with almost criminal negligence: I was wearing basketball shorts, a T-shirt, and was unshaven to boot. Sure, I was on my couch, but I told myself I was stepping… [Kotaku] ...

Dead Man Attends Soccer Game
You, as an American, are now even rarer for not liking soccer. While you previously only had to contend with billions of people on the planet, they can now count the dead among their number....

Was Scott Howard Actually Better Than Teen Wolf? A Statistical Investigation
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the past week, they've been applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). The series concludes wi...

Great Moments In The History Of Sports Anchors Saying "Bulging Dick"
Tipster George sent in a clip of MASN commentator Jim Palmer making a fairly recurring slip-up while discussing Derek Lee's bulging disc on Sunday. Here's a brief look back at the ever-expanding history of sports anchors saying "bulging dick" on air, featuring Palmer, Steve Levy, and Win McMurry. ...

The Weeping Kansas Jayhawk, In Happier Times
Your morning roundup for March 28, the day Lindsay became the artist formerly known as Lindsay Lohan....

Yes, Somebody Yelled "Konnichiwa Bitches" During A Moment Of Silence At The Meadowlands Last Night
In a nice gesture before last night’s USA/Argentina international-friendly soccer match at New Meadowlands Stadium, people were asked to honor a moment of silence for victims of Japan’s quakenami....