ti Page 1904 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dice-K Takes That Sniffling, Sneezing, Aching, Coughing, Stuffy-head, Fever, So-You-Can-Still-Beat-The-Tigers Medicine
Yeah, well don't get too smug, Tigers' fans. Considering that you started the season 0-7, and you couldn't beat a wildly off-target Daisuke Matsuzaka on Monday, losing 6-3 — your fourth straight loss — I wouldn't be mocking the Lions too loudly. It may not be long before your fans are wearing paper ...

Streakin' Ain't Easy
Unless, of course, you are Tiffany May, who reached mid-level internet notoriety thanks to her patriotic half-streak during the USA v. Honduras qualifying match last March. May has parlayed her spirited underwear dash into a Playboy pictorial, where she will bravely ditch the rest of her clothes and...

Ozzie Guillen Does A Brilliant Ozzie Guillen Impersonation
Perhaps it's appropriate that Ozzie Guillen would unleash one of his patented expletive-filled tirades on Chicago fans, the Cubs, and media outlets just a few short days removed from the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia's epic f-bomb ranting. Maybe it was an homage. But more likely it was just Ozzie Gui...

Fred Lynn Is America's Fishing Buddy
Former major leaguer Fred Lynn is probably one of the nicest guys on the planet. He's a man who's brimming with self-contentedness and is disarmingly friendly. After you speak with him for two minutes, it's no surprise that seemingly every dude who grew up in New England in the past 40 years is so o...

Media Approval Ratings: Jay Mariotti
Of all the Jay Mariotti moments we've chronicled around these parts, our favorite was when he complained to Wikipedia about all those negative words about his page. He is a very sensitive boy....

Roger Clemens Is Sorry For Everything, Some Things, And Nothing
Last week was another rough one for once-destined Hall of Fame pitcher Roger Clemens, as the New York Daily News trotted out a harem of women with whom he'd allegedly had some steamy relations with, much to the chagrin of his HGH-injecting wife and many Texas political figures....

Tim Tebow Has A Steady Hand, We Hope
Florida quarterback Tim Tebow is an amazing, versatile quarterback, able to chuck a pass 50 yards, turn the corner and a linebacker and plow over undersized defensive lineman. He's a Renaissance Man, a do-gooder, a man of America. His skills run deep. How deep? Trust us, you don't want to know....

BWI Isn't Just a Crappy Airport In Maryland
Cedric Benson, the oft-maligned running back of the Chicago Bears, was arrested last night by the Lower Colorado River Authority (the LAPD of southwest waterways) after being stopped for suspicion of boating while intoxicated. The 25 year-old was hosting between 12 and 15 guests on his 30-foot boat...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering if the new statue at Staples Center will sport fishnets... • Oscar de la Hoya vs. Steve Forbes. Check back in later tonight. [HBO] • The Detroit Pistons host the Orlando Magic in the first game of the NBA Playoff's second round. The first round should be wrapping up any...

They're Ready to Run For the Roses
The little people are mounting their steeds, which means the most exciting two minutes in sports (setting aside the final two minutes in almost all other highly contested sporting events) can't be far behind. Oh wait, they're playing "My Old(e?) Kentucky Home. This could take a while. Hey, an ex-boy...

Inside the Infield at Churchill Downs
Just because you don't really give a crap about horse racing doesn't mean you shouldn't be enjoying yourself like the happy-go-lucky types at the OTB. The Kentucky Derby is really just one huge ass party divided in two parts. The rich guys and southern belles cougars wear their most ridiculously ex...

The Updated Story on Marvin Harrison
Details remain scant out of Philadelphia following a shooting outside of Playmakers, Marvin Harrison's establishment in North Philadelphia. The Indianapolis wide receiver has been questioned by police as part of the investigation, but he is not considered a suspect at this time....

About Last Night
What you missed while wondering if Tim Donaghy was so bad after all... • NBA: The Cavs knocked the Wizards out of the playoffs, and I don't really want to talk about it right now. • Boxing: Andre Dirrell got his balls back, and remained undefeated, with a stylish stoppage over Anthony Hanshaw. More ...

Media Approval Ratings: John Salley
We felt a little bad about this, considering we were just on the show, but we don't watch The Best Damn Sports Show Period very often. We think it's because we're in New York. It's difficult to keep up with what channel it's even on; we have a lot of sports stations in NYC. But no Big Ten Network or...

May Day! May Day! Detroit Is On Fire!
So May started out pretty well if you happen to live in the 3-1-3. Within the space of two hours, the Pistons dispatched the 76ers to go to Round Two of the NBA Playoffs, the Red Wings pummeled the Avalanche to sweep that series, and the Tigers ... well, the Tigers pulled off the greatest feat of a...

Media Approval Ratings: Dan Patrick
Among the many pleasures of "Costas Now" the other night was Dan Patrick explaining how the old "Big Show" was actually named ironically by him and Keith Olbermann. They called it "The Big Show" because they assumed no one was watching and had no numbers or reason to think otherwise. But people were...

About Last Night
What you missed while being violated by a marsupial ... • NBA: Celtics downgrade emergency to Defcon 5, head to Atlanta with 3-2 series lead. • NHL: Flyers avenge Rocky statue desecration, take 3-1 series lead on Montreal. • MLB: Santana dominates — no, the other one — as Angels beat Athletics to fi...

Moons Over My Prom-Y
For those reading who are teachers, it is that time of the year to volunteer your chaperoning services to one or more of your school's proms. There, your job is to make sure no one's hands fall below the belt line for illegal slow-dance fondling or, you know, make sure no students are having babies ...

But Where Are Rich Garces' Tits?
And...we're off. Welcome to today's first plummet into non-newsworthy despicability intended for the sole purpose of making your work day more amusing....

DeShawn Stevenson Rocks The Michael Vick Jersey
There are several possible explanations as to why DeShawn Stevenson was wearing a Michael Vick jersey and an Atlanta Falcons' hat at a Cleveland hotel before Game 5 of the playoffs. Somewhat likely: It's a statement against his least favorite movie, Turner and Hooch. Most likely: His OJ Simpson jers...