ti Page 1905 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's Rhett Bomar Pissing In An Alley
The former Oklahoma University quarterback is doing what most of us do during St. Patrick's Day parades. Port-O-Potties are for suckers and sixth-rounders. [D magazine]...
OK, What's With All The Lesbian Gym Teachers Around Here?
The shocking truth: There may be lesbian physical education teachers in San Francisco Bay Area high schools, and they're diddling with students. And according to one law enforcement official, it's technology's fault....
Julian Tavarez Puts On Beer Goggles, Signs With Nationals
We all get desperate sometimes. (Some more desperate than others.) But it's how you respond in those dark, angst ridden moments that defines you—and Julian Tavarez defines himself as not above slumming it....
Seattle And The Mariners: It's True Love (For Now)
Mariners fans line up in the rain for tickets to opening day, which sell out in 55 minutes. It's all for you, Mariner Moose. [King 5]...
Lenny Dykstra's Not A Racist — He's Had Three "Spearchuckers" On The Cover
After a year's worth of positive Lenny Dykstra news glorifying his inexplicable financial genius, the unsurprising truth about The Dude is revealed. Shocker: Lenny is an asshole and completely full of shit....
Here Is Your National Champion (Plus 64 Other Losers)
The NCAA Tournament Committee is announcing has announced the field for the Men's Basketball Tournament. It's shocking! It's disappointing! It's pleasantly surprising! It's horrifying! It's whatever you want it to be!...
Type Fast For Us During the NCAA Tournament
Aw, so you didn't get to preview the team you wanted. Guess there's nothing left to do but cry. Or you could GET A SECOND CHANCE to participate on Deadspin....
The Low-Grade Acid That Is The Iditarod
The great Alaskan sled dog race is in 2/3 of the way through, which means most of the participants are frost-bitten, sleep-deprived zombies tripping on their own brain fluid....
Fishin' Accomplished
He eluded U.S. forces much longer than Saddam Hussein, but this 13-pound carp was finally brought to justice recently as part of Operation Catch Fish, on the grounds of Camp Slayer in Baghdad....
The Entrepreneurs, At Least, Didn't Need Overtime
We've enjoyed Syracuse's little run as much as anyone - well, maybe more than Jay Bilas, who seems more in need of a bj than usual - but then along came capitalism to make it faintly annoying....
When Lost In The Georgia Dome, Consult Your Nearest Cheerleader
Tyler Hansbrough went from victory to fail within seconds this afternoon, as he avoided being called for a critical foul in a last-second win over Virginia Tech, but then got lost leaving the court....
Boomer Esiason Will Sweep The Leg
Boomer Esiason interviewing Ralph Macchio on the enduring legacy of The Karate Kid? Yes, sign me up. Oh, and did you know they're doing a remake? Wax on. Wax off....
Curse Of The Colonel Update: Now PETA's Involved
Of course they are. The animal rights organization has sent an impassioned letter to the Chicago Cubs, advising them not to accept a Japanese baseball team's offer of a curse-breaking Kentucky Fried Chicken statue....
Are Dodgers Preparing To Get Their Pedro On?
Impressed with his play for the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic, the Dodgers may be contemplating signing Pedro Martinez. Their final roster should be complete by May. [NBC Sports]...
After Six Overtimes, Syracuse Sleeps The Sleep Of The Just
At some point during the sixth overtime of the Syracuse-UConn game, my cable box interrupted to inform me that without further action from me it would be going into sleep mode....
We'd Make Fun Of This Gentleman More, But I'm Sure He's Not The Only One Who Wet Himself At MSG Last Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Karl Malone Would Also Like To Join In Physical Violence Against Politicians
The Mailman thinks that "Congress and the Senators need to be slapped around" and volunteers his services. (And he's not being "facetious.") Why should Charles Barkley get to have all the fun? [MediaMatters]...
Fine, If You Insist, Here's Your Post About Curling
We just got this hot tip off the wire....
Can Japanese Colonel Sanders Statue End The Cubs' Curse?
This handsome statue, plucked from the watery depths of a Japanese river, is being offered to the Chicago Cubs as curse-breaking material. I see no way this can fail....
Like Most Gentlemen, Pacman Jones Is A Fan Of The Young And The Nude
Pacman Jones has found himself an ally in Fox Sports 'Jay Glazer, who's almost ashamed to admit that he's become a Pacman fan while taping Pros Vs. Joes with him....