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My Girlfriend Became A Pro Cheerleader And Dumped Me In Wartime For The Team Mascot
I watched the The Walking Dead premiere yesterday (it was unreal) and then spent the rest of the night wondering if I had it in me to shoot friends or family members if they turned zombie on me. Like if AJ turned zombie, I could totally shoot him in the face and not hesitate. That wouldn't be a prob...

"Then I Felt My Testicles Switch Places": One Man's Twisted Story About His Balls
One day, seemingly out of nowhere, something terrible happened to Evan Jacobs's testicles: They rotated. Then came the pain, the marijuana, the doctor's finger, the testicle display, and the compression shorts....

When World Series Riots Go Wrong, People Get Hit By Cars
Here's some footage that's going around today. In it, a rowdy crowd celebrates the Giants win with vandalism and a bonfire. Then a car comes through the crowd and a mob swarms the car and driver until police show up. Holy shit....

The Strangest End To A Football Game We've Ever Seen
Do yourself a favor and watch the video before you read the explanation of what the hell happened here. Trust us....

The Chuckling Idiots Of NFL Pregame Shows: A Video Compilation
As The Wall Street Journal recently demonstrated, the hosts of the Fox and CBS NFL pregame shows do a lot of laughing. With that in mind, we've reduced Sunday's programs to their essence—dudes chuckling over something or other....

Holy Balls, The Vikings Just Waived Randy Moss (UPDATED)
It's being reported by the NFL Network and the Star Tribune that Moss has been waived after trashing his team yesterday....

Heat Strokes, Games 3 & 4: Are We There Yet?
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

If You’re Not Rich In America, You Are Fucked
There's an election coming up tomorrow, and I haven't paid any attention to it because, at this point, whatever asshole they stick in office will be no different from the asshole they stuck in there before....

More Stories About Terrifying Hydraulic Lifts From Football Videographers
Earlier, we brought you Anonymous's account of videotaping football practice from a scissor lift under circumstances similar to those that precipitated Declan Sullivan's death. Readers sent in their own experiences with the perils of videotaping from lifts....

John Salley Story Corner: A Trip To The Gentlemen's Club With The Wife's Credit Card
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: a teammate gets stuck with a big bill....

The Timing Of <em>The Daily Line</em>'s Cancellation Had Nothing To Do With Favre's Penis. Sort Of.
Sports Business Journal's John Ourand broke the news about the death of Versus's sports-yap vehicle "The Daily Line", where Jenn Sterger co-hosted. The cancellation of the show in light of the Favre-Sterger fap-flap seems suspicious. But it's not....

Cockblocked by Mario Manningham! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Day I Thought I'd Die On A Scissor Lift: What It's Like To Do The Job That Killed Declan Sullivan
Notre Dame would like you to believe that the death of Declan Sullivan Wednesday was a tragic accident but an isolated one, a sad case of bad weather conspiring with terrible misfortune. And that would be wrong....

Heat Strokes, Game 2: Moon Over Miami
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Searching For Big Country: An Outsize Guide To The New <em>NBA Jam</em>
This is a story about the new NBA Jam for the Nintendo Wii. It is also a story about the 1990s, the NBA's waning cultural cachet, Bryant "Big Country" Reeves, Asian-Jewish relations, Roenick in NHL '94, nostalgia, and God....

The Killer Squirrel Epidemic Could Spell America’s Doom
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

How A Notre Dame Student Died, And Why He Shouldn't Have
At precisely 4:50 pm, a 50-foot scissor lift tower collapsed in winds exceeding 50 mph, killing the 20-year-old student filming football practice for the team. It shouldn't have come to that....

For Those Of You Who Still Don't Think Pat Burrell Is The Gimp-Costumed "Machine"
Here's more proof: The Fightins got their hands on an old photo of Pat The Bat dressed in the gimp outfit seen in Brian Wilson's odd video. The story behind Burrell's get-up is predictably strange. Go read it. [The Fightins]...

Heat Strokes, Game 1: Should This Diary Be What You Want It To Be?
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

The Most Entertaining Meltdown By A College Football Color Guy In History
Spencer Hall asks us to keep Florida Atlantic color commentator Dave Lamont's spazgasm in perspective: "After all, it's not every day you challenge an entire pressbox to a fight in the middle of a game." Noted.[SBNATION]...