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Cockblocked by Nick Swisher! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase a few heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Last Night's Winner: The Ugly-Ass LeBron James Pendant's Sense Of Self-Worth
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the $10,000 LeBron James pendant, which would be happy to know how loved and wanted it is — if it were alive. Hmmm......
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Steve Blake, University Of Maryland
This essay titled "Happy days at Johnny's" was submitted multiple times by Duke fans who claim this ridiculous ode to Johnny Rockets burger joint was penned by former Maryland guard Steve Blake. Embrace the happiness....
SMU's Focus On Academics Is Destroying Its Football Program
Fans, boosters and even the coach are up in arms over the rejection of two recruits on academic grounds, even though they qualify for almost any other program in the country. It's the polar opposite of the classic debate, and it's fascinating....
How To Protect Yourself From Excessive Rimjobbing
No time to waste. We again go right to your letters:...
Burger King Parking Lot In Oakland Is The Venue For One Of The Most Disturbing Things You'll Ever See (UPDATE)
To sum up: Pantsless, mouthy pregnant ladies fighting. One mouthy pregnant lady getting jumped by two people, then getting knocked out by dude smoking a joint. Old lady then attacks mouthy pregnant lady. Police are...somewhat present? Fin. (NSFW?) [BarStoolSportsJr.]...
Deadspin Classic: ESPN Will Never, Ever Do This Again
In 1998, Norm Macdonald hosted the ESPYs and did just about everything short of setting the room on fire. It was the last time ESPN even got close to being dangerous, and it was the last time the ESPYs were worth watching....
We Seriously Underestimated How Mad At Gary Carter This Autograph Hound Is
Earlier we posted video of an autograph seeker goading Gary Carter. We had no idea how deep this runs. He's made two more bizarre videos, and seems to have a supervillain-level vendetta against Carter. Prepare yourself for the crazy....
LeBron Watch, Day 55: Dan Gilbert's Top Secret Second Letter To Cleveland
The Cavs owner has already racked up a $100,000 penalty for ripping LeBron James, and now, in the wake of Zydrunas Ilgauskas's departure for Miami, he appears to be gunning for a second fine. Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio, Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight, and res...
How To Perfect Your Imaginary Serial Killer Technique
Your letters:...
The Search For America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Starts Now
We all know that many of today's student-athletes at universities across the country do very little work inside the classroom. This series will showcase how ridiculously bare the bare minimum can be....
Who's The Boss: The Greatest Hits Of George Steinbrenner
Steinbrenner's been out of the public eye for a few years, but we'll always have the memories — memories of one insane move or proclamation after another. Here's a look at some of his finest moments....
George Steinbrenner Is Dead At 80
Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has died after suffering a massive heart attack. He was 80. Quoth commenter Eddie Murray Sparkles: "Jesus is getting a haircut as we speak."...
Your Final Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup
It's been a wild ride this past month, hasn't it? Let's take one last look at the goals from the third-place and final games of the World Cup with some assistance from music that isn't even close to being culturally sensitive....
Intern Horrors: Sexual Harassment Edition
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein hard-working kids with good heads on their shoulders try to get a leg up in the working world, and bosses complain about the sadsacks wasting everyone's time for four credit hours at State U....
Silent Farts Vs. Loud Farts — WHO YA GOT?!
I love to fart. I really do....
Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....
"Nazi Octopus" Executed For Paul's Prophecy
Death threats didn't faze Paul, perhaps because of his large security detail. But that didn't stop an Argentine TV presenter from taking out the country's rage on an unrelated octopus, beheading and blending it....
This Is The T-Shirt Every NBA Fan Should Wear When The Miami Heat Come To Your Town
Dan Gilbert has already purchased several thousand of these. You should, too! [KissMyAssLeBron]...
Great Moments in White History*
Let the historical record reflect that the first White Man to complete a timed 100-meter race, on foot, in under 10 seconds, was Christophe Lemaitre. In unrelated news, Usain Bolt reportedly keeps looking over his shoulder ... with, like, Hubble binoculars....