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Fun With Anal Beads! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

San Diego Padres: The Fleeing Padre
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: San Diego Padres....

Leaving Las Vegas: Does Boxing Need Sin City?
Bob Arum had some harsh words for the casinos' handling of Manny Pacquiao's fight. Is it a lover's quarrel, or could Vegas be on the outs as the fight capital of the world?...

Today In <em>SportsCenter</em> Fashion: Doug Gottlieb's Mentos Commercial Couture
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Doug Gottlieb....

AN ESPN VP Joins The Olbermann-Simmons Pillow Fight
ESPN Executive VP and Editor John Walsh snarks back at Keith Olbermann in today's SportsBusiness Daily, and suddenly the Olbermann-Simmons feud has become one of those great Greek tragedies full of incest and bloodshed and men with stately white beards....

Near-Death Experiences, Deodorant, And Eggert’s Shymen
Before we get down to business, I must note that the bottom of this post contains video of the money scene from "Blown Away," which is NSFW, but well worth you risking instant unemployment. Now, to your letters....

Texas Rangers: Reminding Them Of Steak
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Texas Rangers....

Dispatch: "I Jacked It On Camera For Money"
Two days ago, Drew Magary wondered out loud if any of our readers would really do porn if offered. Well, one anonymous reader has. Here is his story....

Washington Nationals: Go Natinals!
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Washington Nationals....

Should Connecticut Women's Basketball Be Disbanded?
The UConn women's basketball team has won 71 games in a row, breaking a record set by....UConn, seven years ago. If they keep winning like this, soon even people who care about women's basketball won't care about women's basketball anymore....

Snackbots, Astrobating, And Magic Condiment Fingers
I have a question for all the commenters out there: Would you star in a porn film if someone asked you? A real porn film that gets posted on the Internet and everywhere else. You get paid. Like say, two hundred bucks. And you get to have sex with a top tier porn star, like Lisa Ann or someone like t...

Big Ben Photographer Speaks; GCSU Says No Comment
On Thursday, Justin, a senior at GCSU, snapped a photo of Ben Roethlisberger with a young woman. As with a lot of things that night, that photo's now the subject of innuendo and insinuation, some of it, Justin says, misguided....

Tampa Bay Rays: A Nuclear Switzerland
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Tampa Bay Rays....

The Olbermann-Simmons Feud Is Getting Feisty
Wherever you come down in the Keith Olbermann-Bill Simmons blood feud, you can surely agree that the former just drew a helluva line in the sand by calling Simmons "the most uncontrollable, unmanageable talent in the history of ESPN."...

Stiffing Captain Lou! The Final A-HOLE BOSS DIGEST
Welcome to our final edition of Asshole Boss Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses, coaches, and teachers you ever had. Off we go....

The Boys "Have At It," And NASCAR's Hypocrisy Gets Put To The Test
They'd suspend a pitcher if he intentionally beaned a batter. They'd suspend a football or hockey player if he intentionally tried to injure an opponent. So NASCAR better suspend Carl Edwards for intentionally sending a rival flying at 190 MPH....

San Francisco Giants: Don't Follow The Money
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: San Francisco Giants....

Big Ben's Night Out In "Millyvegas": What The Bartenders Saw
Questions swirl around the night that led to sexual assault charges against Ben Roethlisberger. Fellow bargoers and bartenders offer accounts of binge drinking in a sexually charged atmosphere, and their takes on what really went down....

Big Trouble For Big Ben
One sexual assault allegation can be written off as a fluke crazy lady. But two? Do two make for a coincidence? A pattern? I'm asking, because I honestly don't know....

Springtime For Customized Jerseys
Because it's Friday and this has been one of the lamest weeks in recent memory, why not resurrect everyone's favorite clothing-based photo gallery feature, a.k.a., people who wasted a lot of money on ideas they didn't fully think through....