tsa Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Got A Minor-League Hockey Goalie Fight
The Walleye no longer play at the Toledo Sports Arena, but the ECHL action tonight brought back memories of that smoke-filled brawlatorium as tonight’s game against the Kansas City Mavericks got feisty in the third period:...
Airport Security Will Need To Check Your Super Bowl Program Separately
MINNEAPOLIS — Travelers for the Super Bowl continue to stream into Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport. They’re being greeted by a sign that informs them of the dangers of the Super Bowl program....
Forcing Hawks Fans To Try And Guard Hot Sauce Is Very Cruel And Very Funny
It can’t be easy coming up with new in-arena gimmicks to entertain NBA fans during stoppages in play—there is only one Red Panda to go around, after all—so kudos to the Atlanta Hawks for a new recurring segment in which street ball legend and AND1 Mixtape star Philip “Hot Sauce” Champion embarrasses...
All The Nasty Tricks MRSA Uses To Fuck You Up
Today’s column is about skin-colonizing bacteria....
Futsal Kid Scores Penalty, Hits Three Pointer, Causes Mass Hysteria All In One Move
This young man kicking a ball past the keeper and into the net while also kicking his shoe up and through the nearby basketball hoop is the apex of simultaneous multi-sport excellence—which his stunned and elated buddies react to appropriately by losing their minds:...
USC Finally Shows Some Fight
Tonight’s big Cotton Bowl matchup proved to be a snoozer, as Ohio State dominated USC and Trojans quarterback Sam Darnold pooped all over the field in what can only be seen as a desperate attempt to avoid being drafted by the Browns. USC finally woke up with two minutes left, showing a bit of grit a...
Someone Explain To Me The Alien Alloys Before I Fucking Explode
Hello, hi, yes, hello. We’ve all seen this, right? This story in the New York Fucking Times about the Pentagon’s $22 million Oh Shit There Might Be Aliens program? We’ve all read it? We’ve all engaged with the evidence within the story, written in part by two journalists who have won Pulitzer Prizes...
Marat Safin, Go Coach Your Son Nick Kyrgios
Marat Safin, who won two majors and hit world No. 1 despite the challenges of playing tennis with lit sticks of dynamite strapped to his head, spoke out about the state of the men’s tour on Thursday. It was refreshing, and typically Safin in its overt frankness. Safin took the unspoken undertone of ...
Baylor, TCU Team Up To Demonstrate Christian Values This Holiday Weekend
The first Thanksgiving in 1621 was held by religious fanatics to properly express gratitude to their God for a bountiful harvest. 396 years later, the holiday is recognized by football teams getting in fights with each other....
What Happens To A Brain When It Gets Rattled
Today’s column is about brain injuries....
Roger Federer's Graveyard
Roger Federer is a really great guy. I know this because I got to meet him a few days ago when he invited me to his house for a dinner party....
When Clint Malarchuk Almost Bled Out On The Ice
Today’s column is about exsanguination....
Draymond Green, Bradley Beal Brawl [Update]
Tonight’s much-ballyhooed Wizards-Warriors matchup got pugilistic late in the first half as Draymond Green and Bradley Beal got into a mega-fight that resulted in Green walking off the court with a torn jersey and an ejection due to a second technical foul. Beal was ejected as well....
Everton Supporters Join In Fight With Lyon Players
Today’s Everton-Lyon Europa League match at Goodison Park featured fan participation as a fight between players came close enough to the seats that some supporters themselves entered the fray to have a few blows....
Everything You Never Really Wanted To Know About Cauliflower Ear
Today’s column is about fucked-up ears....
French Gymnast Wants To Become An MMA Fighter
MONTREAL, Canada—In Rio, Samir Ait Said, a leading gymnast for France became famous for something an elite athlete never wants to become known for—suffering a horrific injury on live TV....
Trash, Like Feelings, Can Become A Sad Wet Fire When Buried
Today’s column is about mysterious trash fires....
Vols Brawl
Georgia beat Tennessee 41-0 in Knoxville today, an ass-whupping that paled only to those apparently being dispersed among spectators....
Why Running Sometimes Makes You Shit Blood
Today’s column is about bloody shits....