ugh Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
While collecting insertions into various orifices for our annual feature, we stumbled across a good number of truly awful penis-related mishaps. Culled from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits, here's a year's worth of self-abuse....
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. [Note: Headline has ...
Rugby Player Looks Like Frankenstein's Monster After Getting Stepped On
Don't look at it! Ha, too late, suckers....
Chart: A Week In The Insane Life Of An NFL Head Coach
Over on ESPN, Ravens head coach John Harbaugh was kind enough to provide a schedule of his work week leading up to Baltimore's game at Chicago on Nov. 17 (the story will appear in the Dec. 9 edition of ESPN The Magazine). It's not an easy job—Harbaugh spends about 69 hours a week in meetings (or mee...
Canada!
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
The Giants' Season, In One Vine
Goofy turnover turns into a touchdown; an old man is furious. ...
The Comedian Who Was Cut Down By The Same Bullet That Killed Kennedy
As you know, today is the 50th anniversary of the assassination of JFK, and as you know, there's very little to say about the assassination, its effects on history, and so on that hasn't already been said. One story you probably don't know, though, is the one about how JFK's death destroyed a famous...
CFL Players Suffered Frostbite During Grey Cup Practice
Canada is cold, footage at 11....
Jerking Around. <em>Delivery Man</em>, Reviewed.
Vince Vaughn has an affable, doughy countenance that's so appealingly ordinary that sometimes it's impossible to believe he stars in movies. With his big forehead, bulky build and hangdog expression, he doesn't project any sort of sexual spark or compelling vibe. We're always told that movie stars h...
The Sporting Life Of Elliott Gould
James Hughes has a fun piece over on Elliott Gould over at Grantland:...
The Albert And Albert Blues
Albert Brooks tells the jokes. Albert King plays the licks. ...
The Old Man And The River
Here's a favorite: Pete Dexter's 1981 Esquire story on Norman Maclean:...
Can Dirtbags, Pretty Ladies, And Twitter Save Horse Racing?
If you're like the average American, your experience of major horse races centers on one: the Kentucky Derby. Perhaps you know a bit more about the sport and follow the Preakness and the Belmont as well, putting a bit of money down in the same spirit in which you'd pick a bracket and talking up Trip...
<em>Dallas Buyers Club</em> Is Gay History For Straight People
In his blistering, deeply moving Grantland essay about 12 Years A Slave, Wesley Morris lays waste to decades of white-guilt piety in films about racism and slavery—A Time To Kill, Cry Freedom, Glory—in a single sentence: "They've been appeals to white audiences by white characters talking to other w...
The Greatest Slugger Never To Play In The Major Leagues
As David Ortiz adds to his legend this week—the version that omits any mention of PEDs, of course—let's take a moment to appreciate John Schulian's 2000 SI profile of Josh Gibson:...
Every Tom Coughlin GIF, In One GIF
"And the Giants special teams continues to be very, very bad." - Mike Tirico, October 21, 2013...
The Giants Just Assume Passes Will Be Intercepted At This Point
Eli and Tom Coughlin had essentially the same reaction immediately after Vikings safety Andrew Sendejo dropped what looked like another interception for the Giants offense....