ugh Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reports: Giants To Hire Offensive Coordinator Ben McAdoo As Head Coach
The New York Giants are poised to hire offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo as their next head coach, according to multiple reports. McAdoo has been the offensive coordinator for the past two seasons, after having been the Packers tight ends and then quarterbacks coach....
Report: Uhh, The Eagles Are Interviewing Tom Coughlin
Tom Coughlin, the grumpiest Tom in the world, might be switching NFC East head coaching jobs. He stepped down as Giants coach last week, made Eli Manning cry, and dissed team president John Mara, all in one press conference. Now, according to Fox Sports’ Mike Garafolo, Coughlin is interviewing to mo...
<i>The Water Knife's</i> Dystopian Future Is Terrifyingly Plausible
Any neo-noir story worth a damn is haunted by some large and invisible system whose presence is a struggle enough to comprehend, let alone try to fight against. That looming entity can vary from politicized drug wars (The Cartel and The Power Of The Dog) to ambient ’70s malaise (Inherent Vice) to pr...
Tom Coughlin Makes Eli Manning Tear Up, Owns John Mara, Rides Off Into The Sunset
Tom Coughlin, who stepped down as head coach of the New York Giants Monday, said his goodbyes at a press conference today. The 69-year-old said that regardless of the changes, he had full faith that quarterback Eli Manning would adapt. “He’s done it before, he’ll handle it again,” Coughlin said....
Tom Coughlin Shuffles Off
After what feels like 57 years of being on the hot seat, Tom Coughlin, a man who perfectly embodied the word “coot,” is leaving the New York Giants. Officially, Coughlin has decided to step down, through a statement released by the team:...
Shitty Cricket Man Harasses Female Sideline Reporter
Melbourne Renegades batsman Chris Gayle decided to act like a butthole when sideline reporter Mel McLaughlin attempted to interview him during a game against the Melbourne Stars. Gayle came at McLaughlin with all kinds of cringe-worthy come-ons, and clearly made her very uncomfortable....
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
Ah, the penis. That most comical and vulnerable of body parts. It was a bad year for all of us, but for the approximately 1.2 billionth year in a row since the emergence of sexual differentiation, it was a particularly rough year for groins. This selection of real, horrible injuries proves that Murp...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
It’s Christmas Day, and you know what that means: time to plumb the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. We’re looking for the weirdest, least explicable, and most awkward objects that America has shoved inside its various holes. God bless us, ev...
Tom Coughlin Explains Why He Kept Odell Beckham Jr. In The Game
Odell Beckham Jr. should have been ejected after his helmet-to-helmet hit Josh Norman. He wasn’t, for reasons known only to the officiating crew. But he was actively hurting the Giants with penalties, and wasn’t getting anything done on the field (just one reception for three yards at the time), and...
Gerard Deulofeu Cannot Be Stopped
Right after talking about how great this kid was this weekend, he goes and unleashes more awesomeness today in the League Cup. Look at that goal! Look at this assist!...
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Former College Football Player Sues NCAA Over Transfer And Scholarship Policies
Devin Pugh played football for Weber State in 2011 and 2012, then, after his coach Ron Mcbride retired, found himself out of a scholarship when the new administration pulled it. Pugh tried to transfer to another Division I school, but had his offers rescinded after he was not granted a transfer waiv...
Brady Hoke, Who Made Bad Decisions, Questions Jim Harbaugh's Fourth-Down Decision
As if Michigan fans weren’t having a terrible week already, ex-Wolverines football coach Brady Hoke weighed in on the flubbed punt that gave Michigan State the win....
Thank You Jed York: Your Ann Arbor <i>College GameDay</i> Sign Roundup
ESPN’s College GameDay headed to Ann Arbor today for the big Michigan-MSU matchup. Here are some of the highlights. ...
Billy Beane Is One Of The Biggest Water Wasters In The Bay Area
You may have heard that there is a pretty serious drought in California. Starting this summer, water restrictions went into effect across the state. For customers of the East Bay Municipal Utility District (East Bay MUD), the restrictions include only being allowed to water your lawn twice a week (a...
Virginia Tech Punter Makes Save Of The Year
This is an astounding play. Virginia Tech punter A.J. Hughes watches the snap fly far over his head into the end zone, and he manages to not only recover the ball but get a clean punt off that traveled 60 yards on the fly. It kept the Hokies within a touchdown of ECU, and left ESPN’s Mark Neely gras...
I Found <i>Purity</i>'s First Honest Paragraph, On Page 66
When last we met, Jonathan Franzen had mucked up the early pages of his novel Purity with repeated appraisals of the sex appeal of his main character, Pip. I was creeped out, but leaving room for the possibility that Franzen might be up to something that would redeem—or at least make some sense of—a...