um Page 183 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tim Lincecum Tries, Again
Tim Lincecum’s showcase for major-league scouts went well—or well enough, anyway—and he looked pretty healthy. So now he has a contract with the chance to mount his comeback....

The Vikings Are Clearing The Deck Of Quarterbacks To Go After Kirk Cousins
There’s an old, dumb, incorrect football saying that goes, “If you have two quarterbacks, you have none.” Well, the Vikings this season had three quarterbacks. And now, it appears, they actually do have none....

It's 2018 And Emeka Okafor Is Playing In The NBA
The last time Emeka Okafor appeared on Deadspin as a NBA player, he was being escorted off a ride at Six Flags America in Maryland because he was too tall. He had turned 30 a little over a month earlier, and was at that time the starting center on a deeply bleak 29-win Washington Wizards team that a...

Look At This Stupid Baby<em></em>
Here we have President Diaper, a fussy young infant who rarely sleeps through the night uninterrupted—and is known to be quite a handful during the daytime as well!—forced to listen for an agonizing 58 seconds as the governor of Washington state explains why arming teachers is a bad idea....

Report: With No White House Invite, Warriors Will Use D.C. Trip To Spend Day With Local Kids Instead
The Warriors won’t be spending any of their upcoming time in D.C. with President Donald Trump, so they’ll reportedly be spending some time on “a private tour of an undisclosed locale” with local children instead....

This Is A Truly Dreadful Curling Shot
It does not take a curling genius (or, barring that, just a regular old Canadian citizen) to figure out that Japanese skip Yusuke Morozumi really boinked this one against Denmark....

Russian Curling Bronze Medalist Aleksandr Krushelnitckii<em></em> Busted For Doping<em></em>
The Court of Arbitration for Sport says Russian curler Aleksandr Krushelnitckii, who with his wife Anastasia Bryzgalova claimed bronze in mixed doubles last week in Pyeongchang, is formally charged with doping after his B-sample tested positive for meldonium....

The Once-Unstoppable Celtics Are Returning Back To Earth
Brad Stevens warned everyone. After the Celtics’ 16-game winning streak was finally snapped earlier this year, he admitted that the impressive run of wins right after the team lost Gordon Hayward was “a little bit of a mirage.” Still, though, Boston was at the top of the Eastern Conference for most ...

President Of The United States: Call The Cops On Troubled Kids More
This fucking deadbeat. This chickenshit moral dwarf. This cheap-shit dime-store fucking fraud....

The Eagles’ Super Bowl Win Has Not Changed Philly Fans One Bit
The sentiment was profane, but who cares? It was cute....

I Think I Could Ski Jump<em></em>
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking Olympic boning, poopy undies, phone tag, and more. ...
![Boston Radio Host Christian Fauria Does Insanely Racist Impression Of NFL Agent Don Yee [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ogxqmgoymw279spzgb9t.jpg)
Boston Radio Host Christian Fauria Does Insanely Racist Impression Of NFL Agent Don Yee [Update]
On today’s edition of WEEI’s Ordway, Merloni & Fauria, the fellas discussed how Boston Herald columnist Ron Borges was pranked by a guy pretending to be NFL agent Don Yee, who represents quarterbacks Tom Brady and Jimmy Garoppolo. The prankster fooled Borges into writing an inaccurate story through ...

The Cavs Are Getting Pretty Much Everyone The Fuck Out Of Here<em></em>
Not only have the Cavaliers given Isaiah Thomas and Channing Frye the boot today, but they’re now trading four more players. (Yes, “the Cavaliers” can reasonably be interpreted as “LeBron James.”) Adios to Jae Crowder, Derrick Rose, Iman Shumpert, and Dwyane Wade. There goes a third of the roster....

American Defender Matt Miazga Fined For Honking Opponent's Dick
Not long ago, exciting young American center back Matt Miazga was out in England effectively ending the Chelsea careers of legendary players John Terry and Radamel Falcao. The defender is now in the Netherlands honing his craft with Vitesse on loan from Chelsea, and he’s still threatening to end car...

In Spain's La Liga, Celebrating A Goal Is Apparently Worse Than Racism And Sexism
Sunday’s La Liga match between Barcelona and Espanyol was an eventful affair. The animosity-fueled Catalan Derby was as charged as usual, and this one in particular had some notable flashpoints that inspired the league office to open an investigation. Just, not into any of the actual bad stuff that ...

Cobb County Proposes Cutting Libraries After Dumb Decision To Build The Braves A Stadium
The people of Cobb County, Ga., have a budget conundrum on their hands, thanks to craven former county chairman Tim Lee’s insistence on spending almost $400 million in public money for a stadium without giving the public a chance to vote on it. Despite a record-high tax digest, the county is $30 to ...

Jeff Fisher Must Be Arrested And Tried For His Crimes Against Football
Back in November, when the Los Angeles Rams revealed themselves as a legitimately formidable and dominant team, a significant share of the success seemed like it could be credited to simply getting rid of head coach and possible quarterback poisoner Jeff Fisher. Since then, it is clear that I was to...

Donald Trump's Super Bowl Shindig Was So Weird
One of the many odd sidebars to the Trump presidency has been seeing what happens when an unsocialized puff pastry who has lived his entire life in an environment custom-built to nurture his weirdest impulses is suddenly asked to do the sort of ceremonial normal things presidents are supposed to do....

The NFL's Women Summit Was The Mindless Pandering It Always Was Meant To Be
First, let’s get this out of the way: The NFL and its franchises are a corporate enterprise. They exist to make money. They don’t exist to do anything else. They do not exist to make this a better world. They do not exist to uplift anyone. They do not exist to enact change on inequality or ending po...

C.J. McCollum Went Wild In The First Quarter
C.J. McCollum wasted no time in getting a little piece of Trail Blazers history for himself tonight, breaking the team record for points in a single quarter with 28 in the first. That wasn’t just enough to give the Blazers a sizable lead over the Bulls, it was enough to outscore the Bulls—by nine—al...