um Page 186 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Donald Trump's Weird Teeth Create The Worst Possible Combination Of Images And Sounds

It’s rude of me to do this, but I’m going to ask that you both watch and listen to this clip of Donald Trump giving a speech today, in which our wet, slurring load of a president seems to be struggling to keep his own teeth in his mouth:...

What The 2024 Olympics Will And Won't Do For Paris

You already know what is worth celebrating about the Olympics. You may know this because the Olympics will not stop reminding you of them, but this does not mean they’re not real. The spirit of sportsmanship is not just a cliché for the telecast, and the games really do give women athletes, underval...

Andre Drummond Looks Like A New Player

Two years ago, I called Pistons center Andre Drummond a hilarious monster, and it was a fitting description. He was player blessed with the strength and cunning to grab 13.8 rebounds a game (4.3 of them on the offensive glass), and the rock-handed touch to shoot 38.6 percent from the free-throw line...

Tiger Woods's Trump National Tune Up Was Apparently A Smashing Success

Tiger Woods played in a foursome Saturday at Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter, Florida, with current world number one Dustin Johnson, idiot President Donald Trump, and Brad Faxon, a PGA Tour Champions player and Fox Sports golf analyst. These casual rounds have taken on real meaning as Tiger gear...

My Fellow Americans, I Regret To Inform You That Our Idiot President Is Being Owned Again

Yes, our dingus mingus of a President said something dumb and wrong, and once again he is being owned online for it. This time, in an effort to protect his image from the indignity of, umm, not being on the cover of one specific issue of one specific magazine, he made some shit up about “actually, I...

Report: NFL May Go Back To Keeping Players In Locker Room During Anthem

NFL owners might have decided last month not to make any changes to the league’s national anthem policy, which meant there would be no punishments for players who are using the anthem as a platform to protest racial inequality. But that doesn’t mean things won’t be changing next year....

I Saw The Buttfumble Live And It Fractured My Family<em></em>

Sometime in the winter of 2010, my dad sat my younger brother and me down for a talk....

It's A Butt

The American Experiment Has Failed

CNN anchor Chris Cuomo lectured LaVar Ball about gratitude tonight, following President Donald Trump’s whiny rant this weekend about how he should have left Ball’s son LiAngelo in a Chinese jail with two other UCLA basketball players because he doesn’t feel that LaVar has been thankful enough....

Cameraman Is SO MAD At Bus That Blocked View Of Georgia Dome Implosion

The Weather Channel was one of many outlets that aired this morning’s implosion of the Georgia Dome. The Weather Channel was the only outlet thats camera was set up in the exact wrong spot for this MARTA bus pull up at the exact wrong time to ruin the shot. After 40 minutes of unobstructed streaming...

Georgia Dome Blowed Up Real Good

It took only 25 years for the Georgia Dome to be deemed obsolete and replaced, and another 15 seconds for the whole thing to come down....

Trump Tweets About Marshawn Lynch Sitting For The Anthem; I Can't Believe We're Still Doing This

I’m so, so sick of this, but if I have to deal with it I’m gonna make you deal with it too:...

The Vikings Locked Down The Rams

So far this season, only one team had held the Los Angeles Rams to fewer than 20 points—the Seattle Seahawks. Since that blip of a loss in Seattle, though, the Rams had continued to put up points at a rate unmatched by any other NFL team, scoring 27, 33, 51, and 33 points in their past four games....

Donald Trump Wishes He'd Left UCLA Teens In Chinese Prison Because His Feelings Are Hurt

You knew this was coming. Just as sure as you were that President Trump would take credit for three shoplifting dipshits not being condemned to prison, you had to know he would express resentment over LaVar Ball downplaying the role Trump played in expediting the return of three UCLA freshman to fre...

Be Ready For All Of Thanksgiving's Stains And Spills

This is why you’re Nonna’s favorite....

LaVar Ball Burns President Trump For Supposed Intervention In China

LiAngelo Ball and two other UCLA freshmen shoplifted some expensive sunglasses while in Hangzhou, and were arrested for it. From the looks of things, the Chinese government elected not to take the dipshit theft of a few dipshit college athletes very seriously, and so the young dipshit perpetrators w...

UFC Moron Gets Hit With A Boomerang After Calling Brazilians "Filthy Animals" [Update]

UFC welterweight contender Colby Covington has fashioned himself as a heel, although unlike, say, fellow heel Michael Bisping, Covington’s idea of a good troll is to just call the champ in his division a scared girl until he agrees to fight him. He’s also into shitting on Brazilian fighters and call...

Joel Embiid Has Monster Game, Says “69”

Joel Embiid had the best game of his professional career last night, with 46 points, 15 rebounds, 7 assists and 7 blocks. He’s the first player to put up that line (though the NBA only began counting blocks in 1973). The Sixers beat the Lakers, 115-109, in a game where they shot just 22 percent from...

Donald Trump Jr. Is Good At Weightlifting And Should Lift Even More

Over the weekend, first child and fitness guru Donald Trump Jr. posted a video of himself deadlifting 375 pounds in his socks....

The Vikings Had To Stick With Case Keenum (For Now)

Mike Zimmer made it official today: Even though Teddy Bridgewater is finally back, healthy, and ready, Case Keenum will start at quarterback for the Vikings in Sunday’s showdown against the Rams. Then again, Zimmer really had no choice. Sure, Bridgewater likely still represents the future of the fra...