um Page 253 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Former NHL Ref: Jack Edwards "Has No Credibility"

Notorious Bruins homer Jack Edwards was in rare form on Saturday night. If you missed it, the NESN broadcaster lost his shit after the puck hit the netting above the glass, play continued, and about 90 seconds later, the Blue Jackets scored. Edwards starts reaching core instability around the two-mi...

The Devils Now Have Three Head Coaches And Four Players With Mumps

What in the damn hell is going on in New Jersey? Yesterday they fired head coach Pete DeBoer, and today they announced that for the foreseeable future the team will be coached by a three-headed Rock Hydra: ...

Grierson & Leitch's 2014 In Review: The Year's Worst Films

Yes, most people have already written their Top 10 movie lists for 2014. We're saving ours for the last week of the year, but while we wait for this full, rich, and weird movie year to end, we're going to start looking back at certain highlights. Today, it's a look at the worst movies of 20...

2013 Deadspin HOF Inductees: Manti Te'o's Dead Girlfriend And Buttfumble

We screwed up and waited far too long to do this. Sorry. We're proud to present your 2013 Deadspin Hall of Fame class:...

How Real Are These Rumors About Gareth Bale To Manchester United?

The January transfer window is almost here, which means the rumor mill is just starting to rev up into the senseless, self-serving, outlandish, and dangerously addicting clusterfuck we've come to expect. And while some of the rumors can already be written off fairly easily—Barcelona to sell Busque...

Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick

Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....

Get Your Christmas Crap The Fuck Out Of This Bear's Face, Please

It's almost Christmas, and you're in the holiday spirit, so it's understandable that you want to go around decking the halls and whatnot. But please try to remember that bears don't care about Christmas, because bears are not vapid and materialistic creatures, so don't go putting your plush Santa in...

Taxpayers, Fans Winners As St. Petersburg Rejects Rays Stadium Deal

St. Petersburg's city council rejected an agreement with the Tampa Bay Rays that would have allowed the team to seek new stadium sites while providing the MLB franchise an out from its lease with the city that locks them into Tropicana Field through 2027....

<i>The Colbert Report</i> Bits, Ranked

1. Difference Makers...

Beginning tomorrow, we will just start publishing a list of NHL players that don't have mumps. ...

How The NBA Flushed Out The Exec Leaking Memos To Adrian Wojnarowski

Our own Kevin Draper—who really should have written this for us—goes in on Yahoo scoop-machine Adrian Wojnarowski at The New Republic. You'll read it, because Woj deserves some going-in upon. But this paragraph, from an entire section on Wojnarowski's cozy relationship with longtime Pistons executiv...

A Plea To The Texans: Let J.J. Watt Play Quarterback

The Texans have gone through three quarterbacks this season: Ryan Mallett tore his pectoral muscle, Ryan Fitzpatrick broke his leg, and rookie Tom Savage hurt his knee after replacing Fitzpatrick yesterday. Houston plans on starting either Thad Lewis or Case Keenum next week against the Ravens, but ...

NHL's Latest Suspected Mumps Case Visited Children's Hospital Last Week [Update]

The thing about mumps is that it's contagious well before you even realize you have it. Who knows what Sidney Crosby was licking and spitting on before his face swelled up like a decorative, seasonal gourd. But we know what forward Beau Bennett, the latest stricken Penguin, was up to: hanging out w...

Why The NHL Lost Control Of Its Mumps Outbreak

This is the most baffling sports medicine story of the year: Thirteen NHL players and two referees have been diagnosed with mumps—a potentially severe and exceedingly viral infection that classically causes fever, body aches, malaise, and in about half of cases, parotitis (a painful swelling of the ...

Will Bynum Had To Tape A Piece Of Paper To His Jersey In China Debut

Will Bynum played his first game in China on Friday night, but his jersey didn't. Instead, in the absence of team-official gear, Bynum stuck this piece of paper to his back. ...

Sidney Crosby Has Mumps

Sidney Crosby's mumpy-looking face on Friday did not lie. The Penguins' captain officially has the mumps. Crosby, who sat out Friday's and Saturday's games, will miss Monday's game against the Lightning. His status will continue to be monitored....

Sidney Crosby's Face Is Messed Up And Sort Of Mumpy Looking [Update]

The Post-Gazette's Seth Rorabaugh noticed that Sidney Crosby looked a little different after today's morning skate:...

How Is Madison Bumgarner Even A Real Person?

If you were to judge Sports Illustrated's big Sportsman of the Year feature on Madison Bumgarner simply by the magazine's cover and Tom Verducci's lede—"In one of Earth's great hardwood forests, that wind swoops and soars through white pines, maples, oaks, chestnuts and poplars..."—you might roll ...

The Day John Lennon Was Murdered

Via Cathal Kelly's Twitter feed, dig Jimmy Breslin's column about John Lennon's death:...

Columbia Football Coach Resigns Following Abuse Allegations

According to a press release from Columbia's university president, head football coach Pete Mangurian, who has led the Columbia football team to 21 straight losses and was recently accused of ignoring concussion diagnoses and being physically abusive by 25 of his players, has resigned. ...