um Page 369 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Animal Uprising Claims Pat Summitt
As a sobering reminder that no humans will be spared when the animal "Order 66" is given, Tennessee Lady Vols head coach Pat Summitt dislocated her shoulder while attempting to chase a raccoon off her back porch on Wednesday....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

The Editor-In-Chimp Is Here
Much of your human world continues to horrify and confuse me, most of all your bizarre construct of weekdays. The one you call Will has cast me into my Monday bondage by bludgeoning my mate to death with his advanced human weaponry. How ever did you concoct stick with a nail in it? Sadly, I am now i...

Ook-ook. You Folks Ready to Go Ape?
Greetings, Deadspinners. I am Christmas Ape, the latest in a glorious succession of Kissing Suzy Kolber writers to serve as your Weekend Editor. Those of you who are regular readers over there probably know me for chronicling the imaginary exploits of Philip Rivers and posting the occasional picture...

Media Approval Ratings: Greg Gumbel
To introduce today's Media Approval Ratings discussion feller, we thought we'd head to Wikipedia and see what fascinating facts we could drum up about Greg Gumbel....

This Doesn't Happen At Benihana
A major controversy rocked Japan (but not as hard as Loudness!) when police arrested three sumo wrestlers and their stable master for a hazing incident that resulted in the death of a teenage wrestler (Ed. note — oooof.)to death. Sumo apparently puts its prospective wrestlers through a rigorous trai...

OK, Last Photoshop, We Promise!
Except for the ones below, that is. There's just so many amusing ones out there, that it's hard to stop. And now, for the final word on Super Bowl XLII, we'll hand the mic over to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who as you might imagine is quite enthused with the result. In fact, it may be his fin...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Tony Romo Needs A Date, Stat
By now, you might have seen the bizarre Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson singalong thing that the brain has yet to download, let alone comprehend....

Why Take A Home Game Away From The Saints?
The NFL announced yesterday that next year's Wembley Stadium in London game will be between the New Orleans Saints and the San Diego Chargers. This makes sense — perhaps we'll get a Reggie Bush giant robot — but we don't quite understand: Why are the Saints the home team?...

Roy Knocks Tito Down, Wins Decision
Last night Roy Jones Jr. looked all of his doubters in the face and declared, "I am the king of all the fighters who should have retired years ago!" Well maybe he didn't say it, but I was certainly thinking it. Jones knocked Trinidad down on two occasions and won the decision going away. He even tau...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you maneuver Tank Chair into viewing position to watch ANYTHING YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE ... • College basketball: Georgetown at Pittsburgh (7 p.m., ET); Oklahoma at Kansas (9 p.m., ET); Gonzaga at Pepperdine (midnight, ET). Screw sleep; let's watch Pepperdine! [ESPN] • NHL: New York Ra...

Your SHOTY Winner: Isiah Thomas
We would like to congratulate Isiah Thomas on his ascendence to the lofty perch of 2007 Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year....

SHOTY Title Game: Kige Ramsey Vs. Isiah Thomas
Well, we've come this far, and now it's time to crown a 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year. Fortunately, it didn't take very long....

Bynum Pulls Out of the G-Spot Too Fast
Will Bynum, formerly of Georgia Tech and Arizona fame, was arrested sometime yesterday in Tel Aviv, Israel (I don't do time zones) after a fight at a club turned into a hit-and-run. via Haaretz.com...

Welcome to Wild Card Weekend
Praise Jesus, Adonai, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Yaweh, Zeus, Odin, Bill Brasky, and their father, Tim Tebow. The NFL Playoffs arrive today and my preferred team will be kicking things off in about four hours. Seattle have the honor of hosting the early game and the weather is about what you'd expect. T...

Who's The Next Sex Tape Diva To Be Linked To A Professional Athlete?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker has just two columns left. This is one of them. Email him to let him know what you think....