um Page 369 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Measure Of A Man, As Judged By A Stolen Telecommunication Device
This is a weekly column from Leitch....

When Will America End The Deadly Scourge Of School Bus Racing?
Forget about NASCAR's restrictor plate insanity—what racing authorities really need to concentrate on is how to keep the time-honored sport of figure-eight school bus races from turning into a degrading carnival side-show. Remember when it used to be about the bus driving?...

"No Clowns Allowed Beyond This Point"
The new Yankee Stadium security measures are terribly draconian — unless, of course, you're Chris Berman, the newly appointed ringleader of the circus....

...And Your NBA Open Thread
Andrew Bynum isn't happy with his playing time, but he's only going to talk with Phil Jackson about his "feelings" if he's approached. Let's give Bynum a break — he's still young, right? Lakers, Nuggets, 8:30 p.m. in Denver. [LA Times]...

A Carnivore's Guide To Yankee Stadium
The new Yankee Stadium may be a colossal disaster — Peter Gammons is the ballpark's latest critic — but the food is positively delectable. How one fan copped a $325 Legends Suite ticket and swindled the Yankees of $127 in concessions. The Yankees were just happy someone was there. [Time]...

Royals Fans Turn Children's Playground Into Thunderdome
Two couples started an all-out brawl at a Kansas City Royals game on Sunday after a woman walked in front another woman as she was taking a picture, a breech of etiquette that clearly deserves a head stomping. If a few kids got hurt along the way, that's just business....

Yankee Stadium Threatening To Get 100 Percent More Insufferable
Great news! The most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in college football wants to join forces with the most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in baseball. Yes, folks: Notre Dame wants to play football in shiny new Yankee Stadium....

New Land Shark Stadium Upgrades Include Creepy Old Man Cam
There are plenty of new amenities for Parrotheads and Dolphinheads alike at Jimmy Buffet's Land Shark Stadium, but one of the most potentially troublesome is a device for the well-to-do horny fellas not interested in the game to eye-grope the cheerleaders....

Vince Young Do What Vince Young Do
Young, as you remember, is close to getting permanently doghoused by Jeff Fisher (if it hasn't happened already) and has worried teammates, family members, and NFL execs with his wacky manic-depressive behavior and disenchantment with football. (CUT TO Whitlock: Toldja!)...

All Hail The Pathos Of The NBA Draft Lottery
This is a weekly column from Leitch....

Even On Their Special Day, NYU Grads Aren't Allowed To Soil Yankee Stadium's Legends Suite
Meet your NYU Class of 2009:the smelly riff-raff. Do we know if the Yankees have hired snipers to keep the Legends Suite safe from the non-black AmEx-ers? [Subway Chatter]...

Yankee Stadium Doesn't Want Any Of You Smelly Riff-Raff Troubling The Rich Folk
If you want a human face to put on the new, already-insufferable Yankee Stadium, you'll find none better than the smirking man at left. Meet Lonn Trost, a man of lordly disdain for the not-rich....

Yankee Fans Should Relocate To Safeco Field
If you want to watch the Mariners play the Yankees up close, it's cheaper to fly to Seattle and spend an entire weekend, then buy two front-row seats at Yankee Stadium. [Kottke]...

This Column Must Register With The Local Authorities
This is a weekly column from Leitch....

How 'Bout 'Dem Ladies Killing Their Husbands Over 'Dem Cowboys?
" An Allen woman accused of killing her husband said she stabbed him in the heart after he turned up the volume of a Dallas Cowboys game, according to media reports." [DMN]...

The L.A. Times Pens The Mother Of All Steroid Columns
Here it is, folks. Served up piping hot by Kurt Streeter in Sunday's Los Angeles Times — the platonic ideal of a steroid-outrage column....

Lou Merloni Will Blow This Steroid Business Wide Open
Here's one more tidbit that should cap off Boston's excellent weekend of excellence—Lou Merloni's accusation that the Red Sox hired a doctor to instruct players on proper steroid use. Uh oh....

Here's Your General Housekeeping DUAN (N)
Some things of varying importance that need to be addressed. So DUAN seems the most appropriate post to do so since I've already lost your attention until tomorrow morning. It's time to purge....

The New Yankee Stadium: Where Apt Metaphors Are In Abundance
The fancy-pants stadium seats aren't selling. Fans are pissed . The A-Rod mess. 0-5 against the Sox. And now, fans are doing flying kicks. This is the 2009 Yankees season so far....

Shutting Down The Internet, At Least For Occasional Five-Minute Intervals
This is a weekly column from Leitch. It has words, and pictures. It's called Ten Humans Of The Week....