umps Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Crappy, Grumpy Suns Took Two Cheap Shots At Ricky Rubio
One thing about being on an NBA team that’s rounding into the home stretch of a miserable tanking campaign is that it can make you cranky as hell. As evidence, please see the shenanigans the Suns got into with the Jazz last night....
John Gibbons To Power-Mad Umpire: "Were You Out All Fucking Night?"
The Blue Jays ran into one hell of an Ump Show during their game against the Oakland A’s yesterday. Over the course of a few pitches, home plate umpire Will Little managed to eject manager John Gibbons, pitcher Marcus Stroman, and catcher Russell Martin....
A Trip To The Only Outdoor Public Pool In Brussels, Which Is In A Dumpster
Last year, residents of Philadelphia’s Kensington section created a dumpster pool for their block party. Though the stunt was incredibly cool, the city deemed it incredibly dangerous and forbade the 2400 block of Cedar Street from getting any more block party permits....
Daniel Murphy Made An Umpire Cussin' Mad
There was a brief and confusing tiff between Nationals second baseman Daniel Murphy and umpire Alan Porter during last night’s Braves-Nationals game. While in the field during the top of the second inning, Murphy asked Porter to shift out of his line of sight, which is a pretty common request from m...
Rockies Serve Cheap Swill To Appease Cubs Fans
Whenever the Cubs travel to Denver to play the Rockies, the stadium is full of Cubs fans. This is just a part of life—Cubs fans are everywhere at all times, and especially in Colorado, where fans were forced to turn to WGN for shitty Cubs baseball in the days before they had their own team—and nothi...
Dale Scott Immobilized, Taken Off Field On Stretcher After Taking Foul Tip To The Face
Dale Scott left the field in Toronto tonight on a stretcher as the 31-year veteran umpire took a foul tip directly to the face....
Team USA Wants To Inspire Baseball Kids To Be Boring Fun-Haters
Ahead of Team USA’s World Baseball Classic final against Puerto Rico tonight, some American baseball men said some eye-rolling shit. Team USA’s second baseman Ian Kinsler told the New York Times he hoped the team could inspire the youth to Play The Right Way and grow up to be fun-hating baseball men...
Don't Watch Donald Trump
I thought I was planning to watch Donald Trump speak last night, but then my older kid forgot to do his homework till the last minute before bedtime, and I started to get mad, and I paused and figured out I was really mad because I didn’t want to have to watch Donald Trump speak. ...
Five Vancouver Canucks Players Have Been Quarantined With Mumps Symptoms
Five Vancouver Canucks are out of tonight’s lineup with suspected cases of mumps....
Crazy Trump Supporter Pushes CNN's Brooke Baldwin To The Edge
We don’t know where CNN keeps finding these wackjobs, but we’re glad they keep putting them on television. Here’s a GOP leader from Kansas named Vicki Sciolaro pushing anchor Brooke Baldwin to a point of no return, with talk of harlots, the “Oral Office,” and dismembered babies, all in an attempt to...
Bill Belichick On How He Hurt His Eye: "Great"
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was feeling extra grumpy at this morning’s press conference. He opened with a short statement on the Chandler Jones situation, and then got snippy with reporters who kept asking him about it:...
That Troy Tulowitzki Ejection Sure Was Strange
MLB is lucky last night’s Royals-Blue Jays game was a victory for the Jays, because if the Royals had pulled ahead late and Troy Tulowitzki hadn’t been there to bat in the bottom of the ninth, all of Canada would be calling for home plate umpire John Hirschbeck’s head....
Madison Bumgarner Had An Endless, Awkward Staredown With Umpire Joe West
You know Joe West. Of course you know Joe West, because West is the only MLB umpire who thinks you’re there to see him instead of the game. Picking fights, escalating confrontations, offering opinions when none are asked for, and ejecting West craves being the center of attention, and wants nothing ...
Entire Umpiring Crew Forgets What The Count Is
Home plate umpire Ted Barrett lost track of the count on Astros outfielder Preston Tucker as he faced Angels pitcher Nick Tropeano in the second inning of today’s game. Tucker had a full count, but after Tropeano threw ball four, nothing happened. Houston manager A.J. Hinch had to challenge the play...
Mumps Got Neymar's Face Looking Crazy
Hold tight, Ney. You’ll be back to your bonable best in no time....
It's Time To Take Channing Tatum Seriously
In the last few years, I’ve noticed a funny trend. My friends and I will be talking affectionately about Channing Tatum’s movies—usually, the Jump Street films—and the other person will suddenly get quiet, like he’s about to make some dark, embarrassing confession to me. “You know, what?” he’ll inva...
Mike Napoli Says He Was Ejected For Not Picking Up His Bat
Red Sox first baseman Mike Napoli has had a terrible season, hitting just .203 with 10 home runs and 70 strikeouts. It’s the kind of season that can lead to angry outbursts after fairly unremarkable strikeouts in the second inning:...
Angry Umpire Demands That Jon Lester Fight Him
Yesterday’s game between the Dodgers and Cubs was delayed for several minutes when home plate umpire Andy Fletcher decided to go full Ump Show in the second inning, stalking Cubs starter Jon Lester back to the mound in order to establish his authority or whatever....
The Reluctant Man's Guide To Shaving Your Legs
Though it may be hard to picture, there may come a day when you will have to shave your hairy, manly legs. Maybe you want to see if you can cut some time off your 200m breaststroke. Maybe all your serious cycling buddies are doing it. Maybe you want to look especially fabulous for your company's a...