v Page 3009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Time To Go Nuts In Jersey
Every school, theoretically speaking, should have that moment when everything is perfect and right, one of those nights where all students begin a four-day orgy of drinking, unbridled celebration and Italian sandwiches. Tonight is that night for Rutgers, which is now one of the four undefeated teams...
Louisville. Rutgers. For ALL THE MARBLES.
We are truly living in a blessed age when the most important college football game of the week, one of the most important of the season, not only involves Louisville, not only is being played on a Thursday night ... but actually is being hosted by Rutgers. The Scarlet Knights, before tonight, have n...
Blasted Apart, With Just A Hint Of Juniper
Ladies and gentlepersons, we proudly introduce you to SeasonShot. What is it? It's a shotgun that saved you the trouble of having to spice your meat! You can blast a bird out of the air and lightly pepper it with coriander at the same time! We'll let the inventors describe it:...
Leftovers: NASCAR: Still White
• The whole blacks-in-NASCAR thing? Not working. [New York Times] • Dance, Saints fan ... DANCE! [The Fanhouse] • An outstanding collection of truly worthless baseball cards. [Joe Sports Fan] • This painting of Tony LaRussa as White Sox manager is making us giggle. [And Here Come The Pretzels]...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Big Ten Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to finally get some respect. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! Please send contributions to [email protected]....
The Legend Of Ned Grows
What makes a hero? Is a man born to be remembered through the ages, or is greatness thrust upon him whether he desires it or not? History may little note nor long remember the fight between Florida International and the University of Miami. But we shall never forget the valiant sacrifices of Ned, ...
Fred Smoot's Blanket Coverage
We were just forwarded this shot, from an MSNBC gallery, from last Sunday's Vikings-49ers game. You might not be able to tell from the photo — perhaps you are distracted by the ass — but the defender on the play? None other than Fred Smoot....
NBA Roundup: The Cuban Fizzle Crisis
Notes from Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association:...
The Return Of Ned
A profile in courage from Florida International University: Running back A'Mod Ned, the injured Panther who heroically joined the fray of the infamous Miami-FIU brawl from a month or so ago despite, you know, being on crutches, is expected to return to practice this week and could be able to retur...
Leftovers: Bo Knows Fight Songs
• Ah, the great Burger King college fighting song commercials. [Every Day Should Be Saturday] • Some fun elections over at KSK. [Kissing Suzy Kolber] • Boise State tells ESPN to stick it. [Scout.com] • The BCS is hardly democratic. [The Fish Of Death]...
Is It Too Late To Cast Tom Cruise?
We missed our copy of ESPN: The Magazine this week, so we didn't catch this terrifying, surreal tidbit, but the fine folks at Dirty Laundry did:...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Big 12 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to avoid eternal shame. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! (Please send contributions to )....
An Excuse To Break Out Our Ditka Wine!
If an alien race ever decided to attack us, we know of one sure-fire way to hold off the destruction. Just send this ad into space. It's sure to render potential invaders hopelessly befuddled, so that they veer off toward a stable planet, like Saturn. Heck, we live here, and we're frightened by this...
More Genitalia-Related Stadium Names
Later today, at a press conference in Denver, the MLS, the Colorado Rapids and Dick's Sporting Goods will officially announce their partnership for the new 18,000-seat arena in Commerce City....
Leftovers: What Not To Do With A World Series Trophy
• Hey, Chris Duncan ... please don't dry hump the World Series trophy. Please. [The FYC] • Making an eighth grade strip and suck his thumb on the baseball field? You can't do that? Really? [Local 6 News] • A cause worth checking out. [Superhero Historians] • Fun video of that knee to the groin, if y...
Unpretentious, With Just A Hint Of Laundry Hamper
Strawberries, cherries and and angel's kiss in spring ... this Ditka wine is really made from all these things ......
NBA Roundup: Return Of The Donald
Taking a look at Monday's action in the National Basketball Association:...
Leftovers: A New Rangers Skipper
• Who's the recipient of the Buck Showalter Theory? Ron Washington! [Dallas Morning News] • What exactly do the Knicks want you to experience, again? [copyranter] • Crown their ass! [CrownTheirAss.net] • A consistently funny site about wacky hockey logos. [Bush League Factor]...
Set Tasers Phasers To "Conduct"
At halftime of the Michigan-Ball State game on Saturday, of all people, freaking Picard proved something we've always suspected: Anybody can be a damned band conductor....
Bo Schembechler Gets Meta On Us
We've told you repeatedly about the Dead Schembechlers, the Ohio State fan punk band that features thrash ditties like "Bomb Ann Arbor Now" and "Chad Henne is A Motherfucking Joke." (Their official site is right here, though someone should probably mention that no one does splash pages anymore.)...