An Excuse To Break Out Our Ditka Wine!

If an alien race ever decided to attack us, we know of one sure-fire way to hold off the destruction. Just send this ad into space. It's sure to render potential invaders hopelessly befuddled, so that they veer off toward a stable planet, like Saturn. Heck, we live here, and we're frightened by this.

Costco presents: An Evening with Yogi Berra & Friends. 7:30 Discussion, and Question/Answer session with special guests — moderated by Bob Uecker.

Anyone who can prove that their IQ did not drop 10 points as a result of attending this, wins a moped. Oh, and we almost forgot ... Sal Bando will also be there. This sounds like the most boring '80s Miller Lite commercial ever.

An Evening With Yogi Berra And Friends [Costco]