w Page 4884 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 9 a.m.: Dan Shanoff's Morning Quickie: After actually having met you, we have to say that this tragically titled feature couldn't be creepier. • 1:30 p.m. Sugar Shane Mosley: OK, HBO on Saturday. Your fight, or rerun of The Sopranos? H...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while conjuring that elaborate voodoo curse on the Saints' next opponent ... • NFL: Falcons' Vick, Eagles' Owens combine to inspire all kinds of feather-related headlines in Falcons' 14-10 win. • MLB: Bonds returns to take Giants' minds off of missing the playoffs. • MLB: Willis wins...
Welcome Back, Barry and T.O! It's Like You Were Never Here
Well, the night you've all been waiting for is here. The return of two of our very favorite subjects is tonight: Barry Bonds and Terrell Owens. Bonds is slated to bat fourth tonight against the Padres, and people are wondering whether or not they're gonna start walking him again. Meanwhile, T.O. i...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your hairline recedes considerably faster than the New Orleans floodwater ... • MLB: Padres at Giants. Barry throws down his crutches, returns to lineup. • Pickup basketball: NBA players' Hurricane Relief Game. • MNF: Eagles at Falcons. That lovable Terrell Owens plucks at your hear...
Blogdome: Saluting Supposed "Bad Guy" Roger Federer
• You might have been sad that Andre Agassi lost at the U.S. Open, but that Roger Federer guy is pretty cool too. [Tennis-X] • Uh, anybody in San Diego noticed that the Padres are still in first place? Anybody care? [Gas Lamp Ball] • Anybody else concerned that the Miami Heat might not turn out so g...
The Smut Peddlers At The Sporting News
We know the plucky Midwesterners at The Sporting News are hip with blogs and stuff these days, but we still have to say we were a little surprised to see what appears to be a lesbian personal ad on the site's homepage. With full butt cuppage! Simmer down, you wild St. Louisans!...
ESPN Ombudsman: You Kids Knock It Off!
Resident nerdy professor ESPN ombudsman George Solomon filed his newest impotent you-darned-kids column on Saturday, and, as usual, we imagine ESPN brass reading it, shaking their heada, chuckling, then tossing another few more Indonesian children on the fire. (It's gonna get cold in Bristol soon;...
Price For Mustache Rides Drops Dramatically
We can't help but notice something: It has been a bad few days for the mustache. Pittsburgh coach Dave Wannstedt is 0-2 as coach of his alma mater. Orioles steroid pariah Rafael Palmeiro is gonna hide for the rest of the season, probably for the rest of his career. And the patron saint of this, To...
College Sports Coaches: Evil!
On the list of Things That Will Get You Sent To Hell, we have to say, this one has to be pretty high up there. From the Newark Star-Ledger:...
NFL Roundup: It's Possible That Plummer Just Isn't That Good
Other Thoughts On The First Weekend Of The NFL: • As the only guy who ever brought the Buzzsaw to the playoffs, we will always have a soft spot for Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer. But, what, with the out of control hair (facial and otherwise), angry anti-war screeds and the tendency to throw the...
Saints: America's Guilty Conscience Team
Like most of you who decided that NFL Sunday Ticket isn't quite valuable enough to make up for the utter uselessness of DirectTV, we spent yesterday at a sports bar, looking past the impromptu games of beer pong to watch hundreds of television screens full of football. And we saw what we're sure y...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while discovering the structure of the DNA molecule ... • NFL: Colts 24, Ravens 7. Once again, loser has to remain in Baltimore. • NFL: 49ers beat Rams, plan world domination and conquest of space. • MLB: Big Unit (that's Randy Johnson, sorry, those of you visiting us on a break from...
Week In Deadspin: Here We Are Now, Entertain Us
• We spring forth from the Gawker Media womb, all colicky and cranky and looking like Don Zimmer. • Just $25,000 to have Stuart Scott spew catchphrases at your corporate retreat. • Larry King, baby. It's all about Larry King. • The Saints owner could end up being a real dick about this whole thing...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as elves cobble shoes in the tiny sweatshop you've constructed in the garage ... • MLB: Red Sox at Yankees. Apparently there's some sort of rivalry. • Reno 911: Washington State at Nevada football. Take the over. • MLB: Mets at Cardinals. The best team in baseball versus, well, the Met...
Blogdome: Those Racist Sooners
• Did Oklahoma demote their quarterback because he was black? Or, with all the helmets and pads and everything, can anyone even tell? [BlackAthlete.net] • Arizona Republic columnist gets all swoony on Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner. Hey, what's wrong with that? We've g...
Fun With Yard Work!
We are far from the first people to scream the genius of Yard Work, but we still kinda want to be the ones who do it the loudest. Calling the site "satirical" isn't doing it justice; the site is brilliant in mad, somewhat terrifying ways. (We were unable to read this week's story about Rickey Hend...
McMichael's Wife Dropped From Fantasy Rosters
Just about two months after being arrested for throwing his wife from their car — it was his second arrest for spousal abuse within a year — Dolphins tight end Randy McMichael has pleaded out, accepting a misdemeanor of "trespassing," on his wife, in a similar way that Jason Christensen "trespasse...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • NFL: Patriots give Raiders the ol' Three Stooges eye poke. • MLB: Pitcher Kyle Lohse takes a bat to Twins' locker room, providing yet another reason to dump the designated hitter. • MLB: Coco Crisp home run helps Indians move i...
A Steroid Family Feud
We know it's NFL Kickoff Night, and we know it's kind of a bummer to finish our first day with a post about baseball, but we just find it tough to resist a couple of steroids guys feuding. (We always imagine them having counterintuitive arguments about who has smaller testicles.)...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Gilligan ascends to Sitcom Heaven ... • Your excuse to eat vast quantities of junk food is finally here: Raiders at Patriots kick off NFL season. • MLB: Angels at Red Sox. Converging fronts of negative mojo from Yankees, A's fans collide over Fenway, causing it to rain. • U.S. Open ...