w Page 4925 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
He Should Have At Least Gotten Some Vodka Out Of It
Patriots owner Robert Kraft was out doing what huge capitalists do this week: Meeting with leaders of other countries and gladhanding them enough so they'll give them some free shit down the line. Kraft shook hands with Russian president Vladimir Putin and, to show off, handed Putin his Patriots ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while Dick Cheney entertained us with an hour of televised vetriloquism ... · NBA Draft: Andrew Bogut becomes first to bend down and shake David Stern's sweaty little palm. · Steinbrenner, Damacles have closed-door meeting. · Roenick removes foot from mouth, finds ice skate attached....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While The Dog And The Cat Are In The Next Room Plotting A Takeover ... · David Stern Presents the NBA Draft. Couldn't Billy Crystal host it just once? · Yankees at Orioles: Joe Torre funeral procession swings through Maryland. · Wimbledon Highlights. You know you want them....
NBA Draft Predictions: Trying To Piss In The Dark While Handcuffed
As previously mentioned, the NBA Draft is tonight. This, of course, is a completely random exercise with 30 different variables liable to change their minds for no particular reason at any given moment. But sportswriters get bored, so we present the Deadspin guide to mock drafts by people who don'...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Chasing The Ice Cream Truck Eight Blocks For A Creamsicle ... · Indians at last give Red Sox fans something to complain about. [Tribe Report] · A day after hiring Ferry, Cavaliers turn down Larry. [LeBron And The Cavs] · Yankees win, pissing off Steinbrenner even more. [Bronx B...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch As The Undead Rise Outside And Search For Human Flesh ... · Indians at Red Sox: Antidote to all the bad baseball we've been watching. · Braves at Marlins · Night Court: Wimbledon recap. No John Larroquette....
Cricket Star Not Well-Endowed, Kind of Chubby
Warne, whom the British tabloids have been tracking for years, is being divorced by his wife after he was nailed for cheating on his her for the umpteenth time. This in itself is not necessarily newsworthy; athletes, we hear, are known to sleep around a bit, maybe, not sure. But the story here is pr...
Hey, Sometimes You Need A Place To Sleep During Devil Rays Games
Well, it was only a matter of time. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays — the saddest, cheapest, most desperate franchise in baseball — has taken to selling furniture at the ballpark. Seriously. The D-Rays have a deal with a local furniture outlet to sell ottomans and sofas and all kinds of things you lie d...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while hiding from your pit bull ... · We So 'Horny: Texas wins College World Series. · Yankees Salvage Win In Ninth Over Mets: Trained snipers on roof slowly lower rifles aimed at Jason Giambi's head. · Zoom, Zoom: Tony Stewart wins NASCAR Save Mart 350....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch now that Elimidate has been cancelled ... · Wimbledon, Day 5: Federer and Roddick try to liven up this dying party. · It's a small world after all: LA Dodgers vs. LA Angels at an undisclosed location near Disneyland. · Subway Series: Wouldn't this be the worst time ever for a newspaper...
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. We all might know what "a blooper to shallow left" means, but to anyone not intimately familiar with baseball terminology, that's just nonsensical babbling. So here...
Tracking The Sportswriter Hacks
Yesterday, we speculated how much backtracking each of the major sports pundits would do if they were wrong about last night's Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Here's a look:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to unionize the neighbor kid's ant farm ... · Spurs win NBA title 92 days before their 2005-06 exhibition season begins. · Cardinals' Morris (8-1) finally tastes defeat/sushi. · See you later, alligator: Florida advances to College World Series finals....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the cops make various demands outside by bullhorn ... · Game 7, Pistons at Spurs: Let's see who the media can blame this time. · College World Series, Double-Elimination Round: Florida vs. ASU. Loser gets to leave Nebraska! · U.S. Open Women's Golf Championship. Or, as they call it ...
Tracking The Sportswriter Hacks
Tonight is Game 7 of the NBA Finals, which always inspires Cheetos-stained hacks to break out all their superlatives and bold proclamations. Like all sportswriters, they presume that no one will remember today's birdcage liner when tomorrow's hotsheets come out. But they are wrong. We are watching...
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to the fact that what happened in Vegas, didn't stay in Vegas ... · Austin Powers: Texas reaches CWS championship round. · French dissed again: Campbell pulls out of French Open. · Clemens, age 43, wins 334th game. You, age 26, pull a muscle playing video poker....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as life passes you by in a conga line outside your window ... Mets at Phillies. This meeting of the Doug Mientkiewicz Fan Club will now come to order. Wimbledon After Dark. We won't tell you what happened. CWS: Texas vs. Baylor. The ping! you hear means that none of these guys will be ...
Ricky Williams Slinks Back Into Town
We still can't quite believe running stoner Ricky Williams is really going to play this year. This guy quit football to smoke pot — and hey, we're not gonna mock him for that; the only difference between him and a lot of our friends is that he actually had a job to quit — and left all his teammate...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while your tie was caught in the blender ... CSI: San Antonio. Pistons force Game 7. 13-Run Eighth: Devil Rays get punk'd by Yankees. U.S. Ousted In World Soccer. Adu returns to paper route....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch while Batman is busting his ass fighting crime ... Much Adu About Soccer: U.S. takes on Italy in World Youth Championships. Game 6: Pistons at Spurs. Hey, it's a beautiful day outside! You kids go and get some fresh air! Wimbledon...