w Page 4926 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Passes For Athlete Thuggery At A Northeast Private School
At Oregon, football players steal laptops from frat houses. At tiny (but expensive) Drew University, a lacrosse player is accused of stealing and re-selling priceless historical artifacts....

Never Mind: Pacquiao Concert Canceled
Sorry to have gotten your hopes up. But only 603 of the 8500 tickets available had been sold, so they're calling the whole thing off. [Honolulu Advertiser]...

Beckham's Torn Achilles Moves British Poet Laureate To Write Dreadful Verse
"[T]his poem is written," Carol Ann Duffy announces, "to draw a parallel with Achilles, who gave his name to Beckham's injury." Uh-oh....

The 10 Most Magnificent Footballers/Pop Stars EVER!
It's sometimes easy to forget that footballers are also human beings. Frighteningly gifted human beings, who can turn their hand to pretty much anything. Some ooze seamlessly into management or punditry, others open shops or decide to do office jobs....

Whining Time: Reggie Miller, The Knicks, And The Prayer Of The Bitchy Girl
A review of ESPN's Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, from a woman who once took a photo with John Starks and keeps it at her desk, and now co-workers think they're married....

Do You Dream of Wearing a Fedora while Rocking a Pro Basketball Jersey?
Then you're a closeted hoopster. Won't you please head over to the Dream Visualizer to see your dream turned into a personalized animation that you can then share with all of your Facebook friends?...

Tiger Woods Returning For Masters
"The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect. After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I'm ready to start my season at Augusta."[ESPN]...

Atlanta Braves: The Man Who Wasn't There
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Atlanta Braves....

Last Night's Winner: Michael David Barrett
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michael David Barrett, Erin Andrews's peeper, who was sentenced yesterday to two-and-a-half years in prison and life as another triple-named American villain....

Extinct Michigan Wolverine A Metaphor For Something, Probably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Lane Kiffin: Pretty Pretty Princess
Esquire's 64-person "Sexiest Woman Alive" bracket has one hell of a sleeper 16 seed: Lane Kiffin. (To be fair, he does look great in culottes.) Voting decides the winner, so I think you know what you have to do. [Esquire]...

America's Feeblest Legal Minds Weigh In On Erin Andrews
Somewhat curiously, ESPN.com has put the sentencing of Erin Andrews's stalker on the front page. Even more curiously, they've left commenting open. Seriously, go now. It's worse than YouTube in there. [ESPN.com]...

Terrified Children Still Being Thrown, Taunted By Angry Sheep
It's been a while since we've had a quality bustin' incident featured here, but thankfully the heartless marketing team of the Colorado Mammoth's professional lacrosse organization recently let the mighty sheep embarrass some over-matched tots during halftime. Mutton victorious....

Potential Train Wreck Alert: Mike Tyson Gets Reality Show
Mike Tyson is coming to Animal Planet. Tentatively titled Take on Tyson, the show will "pit Tyson and his birds against the best racing-pigeon owners in New York." Can it possibly top this? [NY Post]...

Stupid English People Will No Longer Get To Chase Rolling Cheese Down A Hill
After an illustrious 183-year run, the annual Whitsun cheese-rolling event on Cooper's Hill in Gloucester has been canceled, partly for safety reasons. Add "chasing cheese wheels down a steep hill" to the list of things that England has deemed unsafe....

Today In Ridiculous High School Dunks
On his way to leading Springfield Hillcrest to the Missouri state championship, Trey Starks took some time to jump over a much taller opponent for a vicious dunk. It's a recurring thing for him. H/t David K. for the video....

Calipari On Buccigross: "He's A Jagoff"
Kentucky coach John Calipari talked with SportsCenter today. Wrapping up, he had the chance to say something to ESPN's John Buccigross. Calipari proceeds to call him a "jagoff" yet again. H/t reader Tyler for the video....

The Saddest, Most Pitiful Sentence Illinois Basketball Fans Will Ever Read
"Though Illinois is seeded No. 1 in the NIT, it couldn't host a first-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week." Even sadder? My parents have tickets. [IlliniHQ]...

New York Yankees: The Truth Of The True Yankee
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: New York Yankees....

David Beckham Tears Achilles, Will Miss Opportunity To Vomit On The Field In Another World Cup
Beckham snapped his left achilles and will not get a chance to sit on England's bench in South Africa. Stiff upper lip, though: "The romantic notion of him seizing the day and inspiring England to glory was poppycock." [Guardian]...