w Page 4929 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Prince Fielder Would Like To Invite You To Milwaukee's Erotic Playoff-Clinching Festivities
Perhaps the most joyful of playoff entrants this year are the Milwaukee Brewers, who just a couple weeks ago were in the midst of an epic free-fall out of wild card contention. Ned Yost was shown the door, Dale Sveum moved over to the manager's stoop (and didn't wave anyone home from the dugout), t...

Mets Fans Go Out With Quiet Grace And Dignity
I prefer not to think of this as an obscene gesture, but as a salute to 45 great years at Shea Stadium. The Marlins' 4-2 win on Sunday ended the Mets' season, but please, let there be no tears. Did you really want Shea to go out in some bland early-round playoff game? This is a much more appropriate...

The Brewers Clinch, Favre Times Six And A Depressing Goodbye To Shea Stadium
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Ozzie Guillen Lives to Curse Another Day
The White Sox picked a pretty good time to end their five game losing streak as they beat the Indians with a solid effort from starter Mark Buehrle. The win leaves the White Sox a half game behind the Twins who won themselves a ballgame in K.C. This gives the Sox a game tomorrow with the Detroit Tig...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while learning to maneuver your jetpack ... • NFL: Eagles @ Bears (8:00 p.m. EST) [NBC] — DeSean Jackson shall entertain (and get in the end zone this time.) • MLB: Yankees @ Red Sox (7:35 p.m. EST) [MLB.tv] — It may be meaningless, but they still hate each other. • MLB: MLB 2008: An E...

Mets Close Out Shea as Losers; Brewers Go Wild
CC Sabathia, Milwaukee's big time mid-season acquisition, stepped up on the final day of the season to help the Brewers clinch the National League Wild Card spot with a win over the Cubs. Ryan Braun was once again the hero as his 2 run homer in the 8th put them ahead for good. The Brew Crew clinched...

Derrick Williams Does It Three Ways
With Ohio State having what seems to be an off year, Joe Paterno's Penn State squad has a legit chance to bring a Big Ten Championship to Happy Valley. Wide Receiver and kick returner extraordinaire Derrick Williams scored a touchdown rushing, receiving, and on a punt return against the Illini — som...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shut Up, Shark Bait!
• 1:00 — NFL: Green Bay @ Tampa [FOX] — Here is your full NFL distribution map. • 1:10 — MLB: Marlins @ Mets [MLB.tv] — Heimlich! • 2:05 — MLB: Cubs @ Brewers [MLB.tv] — CC Sabathia can prove his mettle with a win today. • 1:30 — Outdoors: Bill Dance Outdoors [Versus] — Because if you're not actuall...

Game 162: Win or Go Home (or Play Again Tomorrow)
• Mets 2, Marlins 0 Johan Santana pitched the gem that the New York faithful needed from him. It was an absolutely impressive complete game, three hit shutout. But man, was it bizarre to hear Mets Manager Jerry Manuel talk about the game afterward, "Wow, wow, wow, wow. I think if I had to describe t...

HOLY CRAP! Phillies Win NL East On An Incredible Double Play
Jesus. Brad Lidge tried to give the entire city of Philadelphia a heart attack. In the top of the 9th with a two run lead, Lidge allowed a run to score and proceeded to load the bases. Jimmy Fucking Rollins made a ridiculous double play to clinch the National League East for the second straight year...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while examining your dog's nose... • NCAA Football: Wisconsin @ Michigan (In Progress) [ABC] • NCAA Football: Mississippi State @ LSU (7:30 p.m. EST) [ESPN2] • NCAA Football: Alabama (8) @ Georgia (3) (7:45 p.m. EST) [ESPN] • NCAA Football: Illinois @ Penn State (8:00 p.m. EST) [ABC] •...

Olympic Gold Medalist Challenges Chad Ochocinco to Race
Dominating one sport isn't enough anymore for today's athletes. Apparently, if you're a professional football player, specifically an egomaniacal receiver, you think your skills translate to other venues. Chad Johnson wanted to race against Michael Phelps in the pool — not to mention a horse on a tr...

Torry Holt Would Like to Apologize for Sucking
First Steven Jackson was totally not happy with Rams' head coach Scott Linehan's decision to bench Marc Bulger in favor of Trent Green. Former All Pro and now mediocre wide receiver Torry Holt is the latest to voice his displeasure with the whole situation. He just wants to play some football, "It w...

Elway Engaged To Former Raiderette
Former Denver Broncos superstar John Elway is engaged—to a former Raiders cheerleader. Traitor bastard! Paige Green, a 41-year-old that Elway met at a golf tournament three years ago, moved to Denver a year after she met the NFL Hall-Of-Famer. John presumably celebrated the engagement in typical Elw...

Dueling Squirt-Guns to the Death
The following is a tale of assassins, of deception, of high speed car chases, balloon grenades, and of guns — lethal guns filled with vicious H20. It's no surprise that the participants of StreetWars, a water pistol competition operated by a "Shadow Government," are described as mostly being in thei...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Leave the Ball, Take a Walk to the Dugout
• 12:00 — Golf: PGA Tour Championship [NBC] - Kim vs. Sergio for a Ryder Cup rematch. • 12:00 — College Football: Michigan State @ Indiana [ESPN] - Unfortunately, this is not a basketball game. • 1:00 — College Football: Wisconsin (9) @ Michigan [ABC] • 1:10 — MLB: Marlins @ Mets [MLB.tv] - Forecast...

Tampa Bay Rays Win AL East in Fitting Fashion
• Tigers 6, Rays 4 The Rays lost to the Tigers last night but that didn't prevent fans on Main Street in Tampa from celebrating. With the Yankees putting up 19 runs to beat the Red Sox at Fenway, Tampa Bay clinched their first ever American League East crown. One more time: The Tampa Bay Rays are th...

Week In Review: Dry The Rain
Hi there. After last night's Mets and Brewers victories, I'm legitimately worried. This time of the year it's all about momentum and those teams have it and the Phillies, sadly, do not. I'll say it right now — if the Phillies lose tonight, the season's over. As a long-suffering Philadelphia fan ever...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you search for a very sharp axe ... • MLB: Washington Nationals at Philadelphia Phillies (7:05 p.m., ET) [Comcast, WDCA]; Florida Marlins at New York Mets (7:10 p.m., ET); Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee Brewers (8:00 p.m., ET). [ESPN]. If this keeps up, the Wild Card will have to be d...

Bring It On! Deadspin Ladies Take On The Idaho Cheerleading Controversy
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...