For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shut Up, Shark Bait!

• 1:00 — NFL: Green Bay @ Tampa [FOX] — Here is your full NFL distribution map. • 1:10 — MLB: Marlins @ Mets [MLB.tv] — Heimlich! • 2:05 — MLB: Cubs @ Brewers [MLB.tv] — CC Sabathia can prove his mettle with a win today. • 1:30 — Outdoors: Bill Dance Outdoors [Versus] — Because if you're not actually going to leave your house, you can at least see what it looks like outdoors. • 1:30 — Movie: Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach [Comedy Central] • 4:15 — NFL: Washington @ Dallas [FOX] — Apparently, Emmit Smith doesn't think Terrell Owens is a " true Cowboy."