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This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. So here's a look at the big news of the week in odd, confusing sports in other lands, with our translation. ...

T.O.'s Die Hard Fans Go Crazy
The above poll question is currently on the front page of Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens' official Web site....

Does George Steinbrenner Pee In A Jar?
The investigative minds at Yard Work have uncovered an email from Yankees owner George Steinbrenner that sounds suspiciously Howard Hughes-esque....

Rony Seikaly Partying Too Much For Hot Wife
See that woman right there? Her name is Elsa Benitez, and she's a supermodel. She is also married to former NBA oaf Rony Seikaly. Pretty good, right? Way to go, Rony, yeah?...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to convince Larry Brown to coach your son's 5th grade basketball team ... · Let's mistakenly play two: Blue Jays beat Angels in 18th inning. · Using a branch for a club and a small rock for a ball, Tiger still only seven strokes back at Buick Open. · Braves sweep Nationa...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as E.T. fends for himself in his flight from authorities ... · Mets at Astros. Houston fans give a warm welcome to former Astro Carlos Beltran, who ... hey! Who threw that brick? · Soccer or football? Winner of D.C. United vs. Chelsea gets to name it once and for all. · How Nick Watney...

Yep. She's Throwing A Toilet Seat
We're not going to comment too much here, except to say: Dude! Redneck Games photos!...

What? Sports Aren't <em>Funny</em>
According to Daily Variety, which we don't have a subscription for, so we're gonna just link to someone else who heard about this, Comedy Central has just filmed a pilot for a sports program based on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart." The show would be an half-hour weekly program, and the channel...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending to your duties as Pope ... · Our long national nightmare is over: Knicks, Brown finally tie the knot. · Yankees stopped by Santana (not the band). · We are filled with shame: < ahref="http://www.suntimes.com/output/fire/cst-spt-fire28.html">AC Milan beats MLS Chicago ...

To Watch Tonight ...
The burglar stole everything except your crappy TV. Thank the Lord. ... · Hey, maybe the Padres will make Phil Nevin catch again! That would be funny. · What are we going to do tonight? I have six words for you my friend: Frontier League Baseball All-Star Game. · Now that the dancing show is over, p...

Naked Cricket Chicks And Cricket Dudes
If you're the type of person who plays virtual cricket on your PlayStation2 — and, of course, you totally are — you were this close to having yourself quite a treat. The game version of Brian Lara International Cricket — we don't know who Brian Lara is either — was to feature a nude streaker base...

About Last Night ...
What you missed when the Pillsbury Dough Boy had you arrested for inappropriate poking · Maddux: Gets 3,000th strikeout. You: Eat 30,000th Chicken McNugget. · Phelps wins 200 free at World Swim Championships despite that meddlesome Aquaman. · Sosa mistakenly uses non-corked bat, ties Frank Robinson ...

To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Until Squirrels Eat Through The Cable ... Twins at Yankees: N.Y. needs to finish ahead of Red Sox, if for no other reason than to stop a Fever Pitch sequel Boxing: Ren Gonz lez vs. Samuel Hern ndez. Bantamweights — they're so cute at that age. WNBA: LA Sparks vs. Phoenix Mercury. Feel ...

Here Come The Fat Dudes!
The old fat men are returning to the sports world. One would think fat men would be comfortable in their post-sporting life; they could, you know, just sit around and eat. But former Red Sox whale Rich Garces and former Supersonics DNA machine Shawn Kemp are making their way back. Garces, "El Gua...

About Last Night ...
You awoke on the front lawn with a dog licking your face and various unexplainable tattoos. We'll bring you up to speed. · OK, that idea the Red Sox had about putting Schilling in the bullpen? Not so good. · Monday Night Golf: Tiger, Daly lose to two guys who just wandered in from a nearby bar. · Al...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch with binoculars on your neighbor's new plasma screen TV ... · Giants at Cubs. Dusty Baker sure glad he left that sinking ship. · Lincoln Financial Battle of The Bridges Golf Tournament. Or, Battle at the Bridges (ESPN describes it both ways). Anyway, Tiger Woods is on one of the bridge...

Toe Rasslin'!
Many aspects of the World Toe Wrestling Championships, held last weekend in England, are hysterical. Here are a few:...

We're Not Gonna Make A Joke ... We're Not Gonna Make A Joke ...
Italy won the Homeless World Cup yesterday. Good for them. (Ahem.) A proud victory. (Cough.) They've done their country proud. (Er, yes.) No reason for any other comment....

Oprah Winfrey, The New Lombardi
Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson is notorious for being talented, brash and way-too-loud-mouthed. Kind of like Oprah! OK, not really, but Johnson confesses that the real point of his football career is to figure out a way to make it on Oprah's show. Johnson says:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while setting up the world's longest line of dominos ... oops. · Armstrong can now drink a margarita out of a different Tour de France trophy every day of the week. · Busch wins Pennsylvania 500, Wallace second after stopping for a family of ducks. · Ben Crane shoots 69 to win US Ban...