Yankee Stadium Security Will Not Tolerate Your Remarks On Leafy Vegetables

Hunter Walker of Digital City writes about the last night at Yankee Stadium, including a fight on the subway on the way in, and a curious scene in the bleachers when security apparently reached new heights of Steinbrennian Fascism. If the following account is any indication, new Yankee Stadium will be a total dictatorship, where even the slightest infraction will get a person deported.

Another notable incident occurred about midway through the game when a veteran Bleacher Creature named Larry was violently ejected from the stadium for telling 258-pound Yankee right-hander Sidney Ponson to "eat a salad." Ponson laughed it off. Rude cheers from the bleachers are a Bronx baseball tradition and the Creatures are a Yankee Stadium fixture. Fans grumbled about "freedom of speech" as Larry was carried away by cops and stadium security. Larry begged the cops to reconsider pointing out that he hadn't cursed at Ponson.

Be forewarned: At new Yankee Stadium, remarks involving lettuce, carrots, tomato, spinach and croutons will be totally off limits. Police in riot gear will comb the stands listening for references to sliced cucumber and endive. The chubby Steinbrenner clan does not wish to be reminded that such low-calorie food exists. And don't even ask about the guy who yelled at Joba about cottage cheese. His family hasn't seen him since. The View From The Bleachers On Yankee Stadium's Last Night [Digital City]