w Page 4947 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while hiding from your pit bull ... · We So 'Horny: Texas wins College World Series. · Yankees Salvage Win In Ninth Over Mets: Trained snipers on roof slowly lower rifles aimed at Jason Giambi's head. · Zoom, Zoom: Tony Stewart wins NASCAR Save Mart 350....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch now that Elimidate has been cancelled ... · Wimbledon, Day 5: Federer and Roddick try to liven up this dying party. · It's a small world after all: LA Dodgers vs. LA Angels at an undisclosed location near Disneyland. · Subway Series: Wouldn't this be the worst time ever for a newspaper...
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. We all might know what "a blooper to shallow left" means, but to anyone not intimately familiar with baseball terminology, that's just nonsensical babbling. So here...
Tracking The Sportswriter Hacks
Yesterday, we speculated how much backtracking each of the major sports pundits would do if they were wrong about last night's Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Here's a look:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to unionize the neighbor kid's ant farm ... · Spurs win NBA title 92 days before their 2005-06 exhibition season begins. · Cardinals' Morris (8-1) finally tastes defeat/sushi. · See you later, alligator: Florida advances to College World Series finals....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the cops make various demands outside by bullhorn ... · Game 7, Pistons at Spurs: Let's see who the media can blame this time. · College World Series, Double-Elimination Round: Florida vs. ASU. Loser gets to leave Nebraska! · U.S. Open Women's Golf Championship. Or, as they call it ...
Tracking The Sportswriter Hacks
Tonight is Game 7 of the NBA Finals, which always inspires Cheetos-stained hacks to break out all their superlatives and bold proclamations. Like all sportswriters, they presume that no one will remember today's birdcage liner when tomorrow's hotsheets come out. But they are wrong. We are watching...
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to the fact that what happened in Vegas, didn't stay in Vegas ... · Austin Powers: Texas reaches CWS championship round. · French dissed again: Campbell pulls out of French Open. · Clemens, age 43, wins 334th game. You, age 26, pull a muscle playing video poker....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as life passes you by in a conga line outside your window ... Mets at Phillies. This meeting of the Doug Mientkiewicz Fan Club will now come to order. Wimbledon After Dark. We won't tell you what happened. CWS: Texas vs. Baylor. The ping! you hear means that none of these guys will be ...
Ricky Williams Slinks Back Into Town
We still can't quite believe running stoner Ricky Williams is really going to play this year. This guy quit football to smoke pot — and hey, we're not gonna mock him for that; the only difference between him and a lot of our friends is that he actually had a job to quit — and left all his teammate...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while your tie was caught in the blender ... CSI: San Antonio. Pistons force Game 7. 13-Run Eighth: Devil Rays get punk'd by Yankees. U.S. Ousted In World Soccer. Adu returns to paper route....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch while Batman is busting his ass fighting crime ... Much Adu About Soccer: U.S. takes on Italy in World Youth Championships. Game 6: Pistons at Spurs. Hey, it's a beautiful day outside! You kids go and get some fresh air! Wimbledon...
Kutcher, Iverson and T.O All Punk Each Other And Smile
Remember the story of Ashton Kutcher punking Alex Rodriguez? Essentially, Kutcher and his "Punk'd" buddies pulled a prank on A-Rod where they had a Red Sox fan get all belligerant with him. Supposedly — Rodriguez refused to sign the waiver for the footage to be shown — A-Rod freaked out and becam...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending yet another Michael Jackson victory party ... Maddux Wins 311th Game To Tie Seaver. Celebrates by splashing water on Tom Cruise. Texas Tops Tulane In CWS. ESPN forced to show a college baseball highlight. Padres Top Dodgers 1-0. MLB continues to woo 18-34 demographic....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch now that the Jackson trial is over ... Devil Rays at Yankees. Early arrivals get to see Sean Henn and his 19.20 ERA. It's Wimbledon! You know ... tennis. College World Series: Tulane vs. Texas. Come see the minor leagues' minor leagues....
We Bring Tiger Here To Bury, Not To Praise, Him
Yet another reason why being a multi-millionaire athlete that people worship all the world over must be a pain in the ass: People are always looking for you to screw up so they can metaphorically punch you in the face. Two golf strokes, over a 72-hole tournament, ultimately isn't much, but in the ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while proposing to Katie Holmes ... Spurs on brink of NBA title. Stern itching to get lockout started. Cleveland Rocks! Not really — Cleveland pretty much sucks. But the Indians have won nine straight. Tiger doesn't win U.S. Open. But he's still a 5-2 favorite in the Preakness....
Bobby Abreu's Otherworldly Restraint
All right, now, we pay pretty close attention to this sports business. (We do it for a living, after all.) But we'll fess up: We had heard nothing about this Bobby Abreu story from last month. Maybe it's because we don't watch Spanish language TV. But still....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch to take your mind off of the giant meteor hurtling toward Earth ... Russell Crowe takes on Jethro Bodine's dad: Cinderella Man opens. Giants at Mets: See if they can get this one in before the sprinklers come on. Axis of Evil Cup: It's Iran vs. North Korea in World Cup qualifying match...
Now Fighting In The Flockhart Division
Anybody else find it amazing that this guy punches people for a living?...