w Page 4946 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Telestrator Dong: Elephantiasis Edition
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Meyer-To-Cowboys Rumor Too Absurd Not To Print
Some unnamed SEC coaches have been warning recruits that Urban Meyer will be ditching UF for the Dallas Cowboys. Because nothing's better for someone with heart and stress problems than the botoxed face of death staring you down. [Orlando Sentinel]...
When A Giant Bear Suit Is His Only Home
The surest sign this recession has touched everything we love: even our mascots are now homeless....
Our Captain Nailed His Teammate's Wife First — USA! USA!
John Terry and England may be making headlines now, but only because the sloppy American media missed a big one: John Harkes was dropped from the 1998 World Cup squad because he was having an affair with Eric Wynalda's wife....
Look Out ESPN: The Ocho Cinco News Network Is On The Air
I don't know about you, but I'd rather watch Chad Ochocinco prowl media day as a reporter than any number of Mexican models. (Why are you looking at me that way?)...
Presenting...The Deadspin Miami Super Bowl Bounty Hunt
Sadly, no one from Deadspin's masthead will physically be traveling down to Miami this year to take part in the annual Super Bowl festivities. Unfortunately, that does not mean assorted media personalities and athletes can carouse freely without torment. Continue....
John Starks Wants To Help You Transition Out Of Your Pants
Starks on his new zippered-pants company: "Not just basketball, but tennis, soccer, track and field, whatever you have to do to be able to transition in and out of your pants, we want to be leaders in that space." [TrueHoop]...
Boston Fans Perfect The Art Of Self Parody
This custom Beruit table perfectly crystallizes the essence of why the stereotypical Boston sports fan is so universally loathed. Naturally, the stereotypical Boston sports fan who created it could not be prouder. [BarstoolSports]...
Coach Who (Accidentally) Nailed Girl In Face With Volleyball Forced To Apologize Again
This is Southern Regional High School girl's volleyball coach Eric Maxwell, whom you probably remember from this memorable episode, which occurred earlier this month. He apologized immediately after it happened. Unfortunately, he gained aa new audience yesterday....
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!!!!
Courtesy of Jimmy Traina's XXX-tra Mustard Twitter page. [NSFWNSFWNSFW]...
Super Bowl Subplot #5: Haiti's Pierre Garçon
A dilemma has struck the publishing world this week. How do you make that little tail thingy on the C in Pierre Garçon's name? More importantly, if we can't figure it out does that make us worse than Paul Shirley?...
Last Night's Winner: Minnesotans
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Twins fans who locked up their franchise catcher for the next decade. It's not official, but what could possibly go wrong in the final seconds?...
Caron Butler Is A Gentle, Thoughtful Lover But Only With Paul Pierce
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Super Bowl Subplot #4: Dwight Freeney's Ankle
Is it sprained or is it broken? Torn or rent asunder? Will he or won't he? Will it matter if he won't? Wait ... Someone is planning to play defense in this game? FREEEEENEEEEEEEEEEEEY!...
Coach Maxwell Is Displeased With Your Execution...And An Announcement (UPDATE)
Reader Ryan sends us this video of Coach Eric Maxwell of Southern High School in New Jersey throwing a volleyball at one of his own (female) players. Charming fellow. And now, an announcement…...
The One Where Some Vindictive Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Matthew Stafford Making Out With His Girlfriend
Due to that awful stomach virus going around, I was unable to get to Deleted Scenes on Friday. Thanks for your concern. So this week you get a double-shot of unseemly Deadspin Deleted Scenes today and Friday....
Rex Ryan's Wayward Finger Is A Problem, For Some Reason
Rex Ryan is very sorry that he held up a middle finger to a bunch of drunks who were cursing at him. It really put a damper on the ritualistic human combat taking place directly behind him....
January: <em>Fin.</em>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from January, ranked low to high...
Lance Broadway and Gerald Laird Would Make An Excellent Battery
Major league journeymen sure are punchy this offseason. Former White Sox/Met and current Blue Jay minor leaguer Lance Broadway is being sued for rearranging a man's face at a New Year's Eve party in Dallas. While shirtless, of course....