w Page 4947 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

That Pro Bowl Was Something To See
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Wish You Were Here
Move the Pro Bowl to the Super Bowl site, they said. More players will take part, and there'll be more excitement, they said. If that's so, then why is the QB matchup Aaron Rodgers against Matt Schaub?...

Nutty Protesters Going After Hockey Now, Apparently
Westboro Baptist Church, best known for disrupting soldiers' funerals and being generally batshit insane, are currently — at this very moment! — picketing outside the Stars/Coyotes game in Dallas. Because nothing saith "abomination unto the Lord" like Marty Turco's goaltending....

Just When Things Were Looking Up For Jayson Williams
The troubled former star's South Carolina house was burgled, with thousands in memorabilia taken, including Wilt Chamberlain-signed shorts and a Tupac handwritten lyric sheet. Someone made a G today but they made it in a sleazy way. [NY Post]...

Paul Shirley Has Been Down This Road Before
Here's the thing about saying something controversial: people are then going to look back through everything you've ever said to find more. Paul Shirley's got a few nuggets in his past....

Yup, Terry's Secret Lover's Abortion Is Pretty Much Biggest Story Since First Stamford Bridge
When a court overturned an injunction on publishing some John Terry gossip, we thought it was a standard "affair with teammate's girlfriend." But, holy shit. We had no idea....

Herschel Walker's MMA Debut Ugly As Expected
Walker's appearance for Strikeforce last night went as successfully as a match against an out-of-shape, inexperienced fighter, with the crowd booing you for using poor technique and not finishing him off can go. [Sherdog]...

Tebow And The CFL: A Match Made In Inevitable, Inevitable Heaven
I'm not saying Tebow's negotiations with the Montreal Alouettes are evidence he will wash out of the draft, then head north to play football. I'm just saying the CFL pays better than the UFL....

I Feel Your Pain, 7-Foot K-State Clarinetist
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....

An Alternate Definition Of "Dress For Success"
There's going to be a whole bunch of men in drag on Bourbon Street tomorrow, none of whom will be spiffier than Bobby Hebert, wearing one of his daughter's sequined creations. It's called the "Mu Dat Nation Mumu."...

Stories That Don't Suck: Salinger, A Georgian's Burden, Gary Hart And The Thank-You-For-Nots
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

And On Saturday, The First Fan Became Joe Six-Pack
What an action-packed and important day it's been for Barack Obama. He sat courtside at Duke-Georgetown (oh shush, all of you), told Clark Kellogg he was gunning for his job and his administration wants to finally pass reform that matters....

Dear God, Make Me A Bi-Plane, So I Can Fly Farve, Far Far Away From Here
These "Airplanes (Bi-Plane) Handcrafted of Bud Light Limited Edition Viking Cans" will fly you to just within miles of your destination before getting intercepted in mid-air. Cash Only! [Craigslist, via]...

The Holy Child Will Have To Wait A Little Longer To Begin Speaking Only In Cliches
Brilliant beacon of blinding light Bryce Harper picked up his first collegiate hit in only his second at-bat. Too bad no-one is allowed to discuss it! I haven't seen lips this tight since, like, an hour ago. [The Nationals Enquirer]...

Telestrator Dong: Extreme Edition
Apparently you hooligans are known to be receptive to large vaguely-phallic figures rendered in bright yellow? Perhaps someone can mansplain this to me someday. Gird your loins, after the jump....

It's Great To Have You With Us: Your College Hoops Open Thread
Mike Patrick's so excited, and he just can't hide it. Join him and yourselves for some basketball! Duke-Georgetown's at 1; six freshmen, including young sensation John Wall, will play in Vanderbilt-Kentucky at 4; Kansas battles Kansas State at 7. [ESPN]...

Donovan McNabb Is So Totally Going To Dunk London Fletcher. Cannonball!
Update on the NBA-NFL rivalry: Kobe Bryant sells sneakers via gun violence whereas Donovan McNabb, cocktail umbrella behind ear, threatens Pro Bowl n00b London Fletcher (née Susan Lucci) with some badass hazing: "He'll get initiated at the pool bar." [USAToday]...

How Gross Do You Think It Gets Inside Those Green Suits?
"I still don't know what it symbolizes, but I like it!" says the delightfully dopey announcer about these two fine fellows who have taken up residence next to the penalty box at Canucks games. I feel the same way about this website....

Randy Winn The Final Straw For Aggrieved Yankee Fan
The signing of Randy Winn instead of Johnny Damon has convinced one season ticket holder not to renew. I agree. A lineup of only eight 8-figure salaried all-stars just doesn't show enough of a commitment to winning....