w Page 5023 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Saw Mommy Kissing Mommy
It's a busy time in our nation's capital these days, and there are some burning questions that need answering. Like, "Why don't they have a KissCam at Mystics games?"...

Why Your Team Sucks: Indianapolis Colts
Many people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This Deadspin 2009 NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

I Guess This Is A Silver Lining
Erin Andrews is now the #1 ranked TV reporter on the Mediaite Power Grid. Jake Tapper has his work cut out for him if he wishes to unseat her. [Mediaite]...

Plaxico Burress Should Get Used To Confined Spaces
Manhattan's District Attorney says any plea deal with Plaxico Burress (remember that hilarious gun accident?) will involve jail time. (And Antonio Pierce isn't off the hook either.) It's almost like they're mad at him for breaking the law! [NY Post]...

It's Still The Summer Of K F'n P
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Attendance Should Be A Record High For This Giveaway
The Royals need a worthwhile promotion to draw fans in August. Figurines are too conventional. There must be something else. Hmm. Tough one. How 'bout urine?...

Once More To The Pool
Summertime, oh summertime, when on Sundays, pointless galleries seem to make some sense. So, voila! Now go do a cannonball....

Phillies Still Dawdling On Halladay, Just In Case Happ Or Drabek Is Next Halladay And Not Next Mike Grace
The Phillies were all but guaranteed to land the Greatest Pitcher Ever at some point this weekend, but Blue Jays' GM J.P. Ricciardi's now justifiably hard-balling. Impasse!...

This Lady Will Soon Run The New Orleans Saints
Her name is Rita Benson Leblanc. Granddaughter of Saints' owner Tom Benson. At 31 she's the VP of the Saints. But the Times-Picayune argues that her pedigree is only part of her success....

Chargers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

T.O. Explains To Trent Edwards Exactly When He'll Make His Life Miserable
T.O. drives the Buffalonians bananas on his first day at mini-camp. You get the impression that this is the one place in the NFL universe where his spectacle isn't only welcome, but desperately needed. (PHOTO: H/T William V.) [Buffalo News]...

Hopefully The Wilpons Have Extra Chairs
Mets fans are sick and tired of being sick and tired. The team is playing like balls. They're gonna do something about it ... bug the executives!...

I Know Steve Bartman And This Man Is No Steve Bartman
See this fan? He almost grabbed the ball that DeWayne Wise caught to save Mark Buehrle's perfect game. He should feel, really, really, really bad. [Washington Times]...

Yankees And Patriots Are Selling Fake Jerseys
Okay, not the sports teams, but the more accurately described group — our soldiers — are being accused of buying fake memorabilia in Korea and reselling them....

We Are Gathered Here Today To Take It To The House
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Shaq Vs. The Secret Service
Shaquille O'Neal plans to meet the owner of the world's most famous White Sox jacket by walking up to his home's gated entrance, ringing the doorbell and asking if Barack Obama would like to sit on his lap. [Bog]...

Suddenly, Everyone Cares About Delaware Again
The NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB and NCAA—what no UFL?—have joined forces to sue Delaware in the hopes of stopping their new state gambling law. Delaware can't have this one thing? They don't ask for much! [ESPN/USA Today]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Miller Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Milwaukee Brewers' Miller Park....

Your Weekend Throwgasm Breakdown: Ice Cream Cone Physics, Rain Delays, And Stinky Dongs
The week's ending. You need shit to do. Well, fear not. For I have compiled a list of worthy activities, media and/or ingestible chemicals to help you entertain yourself....