w Page 5022 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Heck Of A Career, Jim, But Can You DH Tomorrow?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Jay Mariotti, Making Children Cry
Jay the Joker one-ups Woody Paige with a human prop. The baby's tears represent America, except America would have tried to poop on him. [H/T reader Dan]...
Pirates Try To Give Seats Away, Fail Miserably
In anticipation of low ticket sales for the Nationals' visit, Pittsburgh tried out an innovative promotion that could have made winners of everyone. They made the mistake of tying the promotion to their success on the field....
FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE!
Is staying retired. For now. [StarTribune]...
Dr. James Andrews Giveth and Taketh Away
Orthopedic Hall of Famer Dr. James Andrews has saved the careers of countless athletes with his special brand of ligament justice, but occasionally he makes an oops and cripples healthy people for the rest of their lives. No one's perfect....
Hey, Kirk Herbstreit's House Is On Fire!
Herbie let his local fire department burn down his home in exchange for a tax break, but the IRS wants the money anyway. He could sell his house to pay the bill if it hadn't just burned down! [Columbus Dispatch]...
The First Sideline Reporter: "All Of This Was Just Nonsense"
The sideline reporter was young and attractive and more or less an open appeal to the lower enthusiasms of sports fans. The year was 1974. Jim Lampley was here to tell America about mascots and homecoming queens....
Japan Learns How To Lose From Notre Dame
Lou Holtz coached up the Fighting Irish and, afterward, a losing coach bemoaned a moral victory, so Saturday's college football exhibition was just like any other. Except Notre Dame won. And the game was in Japan....
David Beckham's Hecklers Not So Tough After All
David Beckham had another run-in with fans—with the notoriously nasty Kansas City soccer scene—but the where and why is not really important. What is important, is that fans need to do a better job managing their smack talk....
A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
One of the good things about being a parent is that, during the summer, you're fully justified in eating all the goddamn ice cream you want....
Even LeBron's High School Keepsakes Are Worth A Fortune
Every high school phenom has a scrapbook of yellowing newspaper clips in his attic, readily available for reminiscing about the glory days. It's unusual, though, for someone else to collect those mementos and sell them for $250,000 on eBay....
Ladies: If You Don't Want Men Looking At You Through A Peephole, Stop Watching Sports
I've read this column by US News & World Report writer Bonnie Erbe three times to see if I'm possibly taking the quote out of context or missing a broader issue or accidentally inhaled WD-40 but, sadly, I have not....
The White House Welcomes Shock And Aww, Not That Again
In welcoming your WNBA world champions to his home, the First Bulls Fan lamented congratulating former-and-forever Piston Bill Laimbeer — controversy! scandal! developing! — so Laimbeer will probably be back next week to resolve the conflict over beers. [CBS]...
Minaya Sort Of Apologizes
Omar Minaya called another press conference last night, and in this one he managed to not entirely shoot off his own foot, which probably had something to do with his boss, COO Jeff Wilpon, standing ominously at his side....
Drew Bennett's Glorious Two-Day Run With The Ravens
On Friday, wide receiver Drew Bennett was healthy, rested and ready to play. So Baltimore gave him a one-year contract. Then he woke up on Sunday with a sore knee, so he retired. Didn't the Ravens call no takebacks?...
Rick Fox's Shirt Smell's Like Greedo's Taint Or Something
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Swimsuit Still Has Major Rear Air Conditioning Problems
This poor Italian woman first suffered this indignity. Yesterday, U.S. swimmer Ricky Berens' suit also busted open in the back, revealing his backside to America. The Huffington Post even utilized its seldom used "ass cam" for the occasion. [KC.com]...
Minaya Calls Out <em>Daily News</em> Reporter; Mets' Season Descends Further Into Farce
Earlier today, Omar Minaya addressed the firing of brawlin' Tony Bernazard, the Mets' VP for player development, and used the occasion to humiliate New York Daily News reporter Adam Rubin, whom Minaya accused of angling for a front-office job....
Peter King On King's Peter
"Trip to the urologist. Regular checkup. Two docs. First doc examines me, and I should say he examines me thoroughly. He leaves and the other doc comes in. ... He puts on the rubber glove. Whoa! Whoa!" [SI.com]...
Aaron Ward Jinxes Himself Out Of Winter Classic
On July 16, Boston's Aaron Ward was asked about his team getting to play in the Winter Classic. His response: "Don't jinx me yet. I could always be traded." Nine days later, he was traded to Carolina. [National Post/CBC/Bruins Blog]...