w Page 5028 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...
The End Of Roger Clemens. Finally.
We think ESPN's Jayson Stark had the most comprehensive and dead-on take on the Mitchell Report, particularly the public perception that those names in the report are guilty without a shadow of a doubt despite evidence that wouldn't even stand up in a civil case. Not that it really matters; we wante...
The Wizards Can't Feel Their Faces
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or eating slow-smoked ribs and beef briskets, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight hemorrhoid flareup ... • NFL: Hey, the Texans played the Broncos last night. Hey! Hello? Is this thing on? • NHL: Luke, I'm your father, eh. Turn to the dark side you hoser. Hemsky, Oilers end Red Wings' win streak, 4-3. • Actual headline: "Steroids Report Upstages Go...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you straggle home from your Mitchell Report after-party ... • NBA: Washington at Miami; San Antonio at L.A. Lakers. How is Barkley not named in the Mitchell report? [TNT] • College women's volleyball: Division I tournament, semifinal, at Sacramento, Stanford vs. Southern California....
Last Chance To Buy Outdated T-Shirt
Anyone who has been annoyed — read: us — by the odd advertisements for Gawker Media T-shirts over the last month is in luck: The Gawker Shop is closing down, and you won't be bothered again. This also means this is your last chance to buy that "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirt before it vanishes for...
Raking In The Bowl Game Cash
It's always nice to have bad guys in sports, and there aren't many more reliable bad guys than those shady, mysterious characters who run the lower-tier bowl games. And you don't want to know how much money they're making....
Lawyer Milloy Is A Demon With The Red Pen
New Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino wrote this nice little letter to his team after bolting on them in the middle of the season. (Wisely, but still.) Falcons cornerback Lawyer Milloy was eager to add his own addendum....
Year In Review: March
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with March. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature someth...
Jamboroo, Week 15: METALLICA WEEK!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Knicks Keep On Falling ...
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or trying to find Schenectady, NY on a map, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
Twas The Night Before The Mitchell Report, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring (LaRussa was soused) ... • Man, I really hope there's a George Mitchell action figure with "Special Envoy to Northern Ireland kung fu grip" under the Mitchel Report Tree tomorrow. — Hank Scorpio...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Jay Mariotti's embarrassing bandwagon jumping totally jinxes the Patriots ... • College basketball: Cincinnati at Xavier [ESPN2]; Vanderbilt at DePaul [ESPN Classic]. Enjoy some Blue Demon Almonds during the game. • NBA: Detroit at Houston; Utah at Phoenix. OK, it's a slow week for ...
Year In Review: February
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with February. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature som...
Swim, You Brave, Magnificent Bastards! Swim!
OK, I can hear you complaining already. But the fact remains that I have lived most of my adult life by one simple rule: Anytime a game fish reenacts a scene from one of my favorite movies, it gets its own post. The movie is Shawshank Redemption, and this is one of those times....
We Congratulate "Florida Quarterback" On His Heisman Trophy
One of the nice things about college athletes is that you don't have to pay them. Heck, it might be the best thing about college athletes. Seriously, look at them: They can put their bodies and lives on the line every week, and we don't have to give 'em nothin'. Amazing, right? And if they do really...
Greatest 'NBA Closer' In The History Of Western Civilization!
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jo— Shut it down, little man. Shut it DOWN! What a pathetic performance by this sad human being. This guy is a disgrace to the game of basketball a...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your parrot comes back as a potato chip ... • NBA: Seattle at Chicago. Go Cubs! Oh, sorry; my mistake. Carry on. [WGN] • NHL: Pittsburgh at Philadelphia. Why no team named the Ice Bears? [Versus] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League; Real Madrid CF vs. SS Lazio, at Madrid. Taped. Isn't t...
This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...