w Page 5030 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while stumbling upon a ditch full of stumps... • NBA: The Wizards couldn't hang with the Suns, but at least I got to have a nice chat with my buddy Tony Brothers. • CBB: Virginia beat the Longwood Boners* but Mustapha Farrakhan was held scoreless in two minutes much to the dismay of ...
Listen Only To Those With Expertise
• Woo-hoo, another ESPN Memo! • Stephen A. Smith is so much more qualified than your stupid bloggers. • John Maine wore a dress, and then made it clear that he didn't. • "You Dead, Dawg," Deadwood-style. • The Football Guys. • Illinois in the Rose Bowl. Yipes. • Denny Green, copyrightin'! • Ashley Y...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as firefighters attempt to "Free Willy" ... • College football: NCAA Division I Championship Subdivision playoffs, semifinal, Richmond at Appalachian State. 'Nuff said. [ESPN2] • College women's soccer: NCAA Division I College Cup, semifinal, Notre Dame vs. Florida State, College Stati...
Just One More Ornament For Tebow
In a season in which the favorite for the Heisman Trophy seemed to change every week, we all seem to have reached a sort of consensus on the eventual winner: It's Tebow, of course....
Mark Mangino Makes A New Friend
You had been wondering why the Orange Bowl chose Kansas over Missouri. Now you know....
Which Sports-Related Person Would Engage In A 2Girls1Cup-Type Video?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next five Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FIVE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....
Kurt Warner's Little Ball Friends
You might think of Kurt Warner as the slightly washed-up Buzzsaw quarterback with small hands and the crazy wife. But in the Christian community, Warner is an example of all that's right with the world. And now he's branching out into acting....
He Seems To Have Thought Of Everything: How In The World Did This Not Work?
So this guy robs a bank, and during his getaway he stops at a salon about a block away for hair extensions and a manicure (by now you've guessed that this occurred in Florida). But that's not the best part. The loot he stole was booby trapped, and during his escape it exploded, covering him in red d...
Dennis Green Mocks Himself For Cash
Say what you will about former Buzzsaw "coach" Dennis Green, but you can't say he's not entrepreneurial. He has moved to copyright the phrase "They Are Who We Thought They Were."...
Ring In The New Year With Kwame Brown
We can't think of any athlete more worthy of a special VIP table than Kwame Brown; it seems the perfect pre-Rose Bowl palate cleanser. But we hope no one brings a cake....
A-Rod Is Not A Pleasant Landlord
When people defend Alex Rodriguez — because, you know, in a few circles, he's somewhat unpopular — they often point to the amount of charity work he does. But there might be less to that charity business that meets the proverbial eye. And he's not much of a landlord....
The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
The Thrilling Nature Of An NFC Wild-Card Elimination Game
The NFL Network was crowing about its Cowboys-Packers ratings last week. Let's see how they do with a game much fewer people care about....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC busts Santa ... • Boxing: Super welterweights, Andrey "A Case Of The Dingies" Tsurkan vs. Yuri "Peace Through Diplomacy" Foreman; super welterweights, Sergio "Hands of Butter" Martinez vs. Ossie "Prison Lunch" Duran, at New York. [Versus] • College bas...
Jamboroo, Week 14: College Overtime? In The NFL? F—k Yeah!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Barry Bonds Could Really Use Johnnie Cochran Right About Now
Considering the charges against him — and the public opinion forces, going all the way up to President bush — one would think Barry Bonds' legal team would be coming together and preparing a fierce, scorched earth strategy to take down what are arguably pumped-up charges. One would be wrong....
Woman Knocks Out Husband With Potato; Dodgers Sign Her For $25 Million Over Two Years
If you're Irish like me, this is pretty much an everyday occurrence. But for others it may be rare: During a drunken Thanksgiving argument, a wife grabbed a potato and fired it at her husband, nailing him right in the snout and knocking him to Dream Town. (As Emeril would say: "Bam!"). Aside from th...
Micah Owings Might Go Both Ways
One of the stars of the Diamondbacks' improbable 2007 season was Micah Owings, the pitcher who could hit better than almost everybody else in Arizona's lineup. In the offseason, teams look for every advantage they can find, to fill every hole. The D-Backs are getting creative; they're thinking of pu...
About Last Night
What you missed while playing Zap-A-Bug ... • NHL: In a game narrated by Morgan Freeman, Crosby's first trip to Edmonton results in 4-2 win by Pittsburgh. • NBA: Always Be Closing! Iverson scores 51, but is only 1-for-4 in the fourth quarter as Lakers beat Nuggets 110-107. • MLB: This just in: A .22...