w Page 5092 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Eric Mangini Enjoys Vesuvio's
We like Jets coach Eric Mangini, even if he's way too young to be that football-coach tubby. But we — as obsessed "Sopranos" fans since the very first episode — hope he understands the honor bestowed upon him. He cameoed last night on what was one of the most intense, breathtaking episodes of the mo...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while holed up in the attic, waiting the apocalypse ... • MLB: Lou Piniella watches on TV as Cubs beat Braves, 10-1. • Motor Sports: We love it when chicks fight guys in the pit. • Golf: Thank you, Obi-Wan Nicklaus. K.J. Choi wins Memorial....

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. New York Yankees @ Boston Red Sox. Andy Pettitte selfishly pitches while Roger Clemens' groin is desperate for attention. • 9:00, NBC. Friday Night Lights. Matt Saracen vs. Johnnie Morton in a bare knuckle brawl ... who do you like? • 9:00, NFL Network. Tampa Bay Bucs Cheerleaders...

The Danes Like To Punch
If the Second War of Schleswig taught us anything, it's that the Danish lack problem-solving skills. Yesterday, during a Euro 2008 qualifier, a Danish player punched a Swedish player in the stomach, and was, of course, red-carded and sent off. Apparently feeling like it should be perfectly legal to ...

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, NBC. Stanley Cup Finals. Anaheim Ducks @ Ottawa Senators. Or the All Children's Telethon, which should be good, too. • 8:00, ESPN2. Soccer. China vs. United States. If this game is so "friendly," why even keep score? • 8:30, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Detroit Pistons @ Cleveland Cavaliers. Craig Sag...

There Has To Be A Way To Combine A Hockey Game And A Telethon
Hockey continues to feel the sting of disrespect from their network television home. This time, the slap in the face isn't national, but limited to just the Tampa market. For now, anyway. We'll have to wait and see what happens if tonight's game goes into overtime....

Alex Rodriguez Resists Temptation
If it's true that A-Rod likes the "she-male, muscular type," then it must have been quite a struggle to maintain focus last night. Decent effort, Fenway fans ... but it wouldn't hurt you to show a little more cleavage....

A-Rod Is Dead, Dawg
• Jose Canseco and his fake reality show] • Cheese wheel. • Nothing offensive about this, nope. • This lady? Never heard of her. Until now! • Ichiro is wacky. • Every party should have Mr. Met. • LeBron might be all kinds of amazing. • Here come the otters! HERE COME THE OTTERS! • Isiah Thomas, a bu...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch to top off another glorious Free Donut Day ... • Boxing: Junior middleweights, James Kirkland vs. Ossie Duran; junior welterweights, Timothy Bradley vs. Donald Camarena, at Santa Ynez, Calif. Oh, you wanted "abuse." It's "being-hit-on-the-head" lessons in here. [Showtime] • College sof...

Evander Holyfield Has Much Advice For Sage Rosenfels
"OK, now everybody listen up. The key to being a successful Houston Texan is to ... wait ... is HGH legal in football? No? Oh, well, don't worry: Take it anyway, you'll sit out four games, no one will care, it's the NFL. Anyway, what was I saying? Dancing. Yes. Dancing is ... you gotta ..."...

Who's the Next Allison Stokke?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

One More Thing For Giambi To Apologize For
Notes on a day in baseball:...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after coming in from recess ... • College softball: World Series at Oklahoma City, Tennessee vs. Texas A&M and Baylor vs. Arizona. Shootout at the OK corral. [ESPN] • Golf: LPGA, Ginn Tribute, first round, at Mt. Pleasant, S.C. We have a bad case of Annika Sorenstam. [The Golf Channel]...

The Rocket Would Rather You HGH Than Dip
As we await Roger Clemens' return to the game this Monday, we bring you this old public service announcement from Roger on the evils of chewing tobacco. The guy is a natural actor, though we really don't want to know what happened once the camera stopped rolling....

NHL Fans Are That Much More Special Today
If you didn't watch the Stanley Cup Finals Game 2 last night — and of course you did — you might have missed this odd shot of Snoop Dogg, who, for reasons unbeknown to anyone but him (and probably not him either), was wearing a fake mustache....

Down Goes Patel!
It's official, folks: Samir Patel, the perennial favorite who always just misses at the Spelling Bee, has just been eliminated from the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. The word he missed was "clevis."...

Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing a happy birthday to the legend that is unsilent majority ... • MLB: Cleveland at Boston [ESPN2]; Florida at Chicago Cubs. Red Sox's magic number is 90. [WGN] • NBA: Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 5. Let's point the t-shirt cannon toward the court thi...

The Otters Are No Longer Satisfied With Their Jug Band Christmas
Beware, everyone: The otters have finally had enough of centuries of human dominance and have banded together to destroy us. It was only a matter of time. We welcome our new otter overlords....
