wan Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Ultimate Warrior Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks there's something morbidly fascinating about a guy who looks like he walked out of a Boris Vellejo painting and is also clinically insane....
Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?
So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum?...
Mock Japanese People Falling From the Comfort Of Your Own Couch
By the way, he's doing the obstacle course all wrong. If you go through it standing upright, it's a lot easier....
Fun With Stephen A. Smith Blog Comments
Our story so far: Stephen A. Smith started a blog, and then things got out of hand in the comments. So he heightened security; now requiring registration before one can comment. And that's a good thing, because now that all the jerks and racists are gone, all that remains is comedy gold....
It Is Time, Once Again, To Wank For A Cause
It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anyt...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after surviving the fierce crowd rush for Marlins season tickets ... • NFL: Chicago at Minnesota. 8:30 p.m. (ET). We all know what's at stake here. [ESPN] • College men's basketball: Albany at Duke. 7 p.m. (ET). This in no way should be over by halftime. [ESPN2] • NHL: Washington at De...
Submit Your Body Shots to Bruno Fierce
Craigslist is an almost endless source of entertainment if you're coming down off of a coke bender, otherwise it's good for the occasional laugh. Sometimes it's even a great source of information for the hot young trollops of New York who are looking for a chance to have champagne spilled on them by...
Ashley Young Wants You To Know His Body As Well As He Does
You see, now, this is what American sports desperately needs more of: Athletic superstars who masturbate on their Web cams. And you thought Curt Schilling's blog had poor spelling!...
About Last Night
What you missed while wondering why Anton Chigurh is so ornery... • CFB: Oklahoma was sent packing by that wacky "spread" offense of Texas Tech. • NBA: New Orleans is unstoppable. Plus the Wolves kinda suck. • CBB: UVA and Arizona squared off for the fourth straight year, the Cavaliers became the fi...
Your Heart Says No, But Your Eyes Say Yes
Grandpa returns home from the hospital today, and you're throwing a party to celebrate his successful triple-bypass surgery. But what can you serve that's both easy to prepare and economical? Thanks to the genius of And I Am Not Lying, your problems are solved!...
For Your Sunday Viewing Pleasure, Minus The NFL ...
12:05 — Movie. Enemy of the State [Encore] 1:00 — NASCAR. Nextel Cup in Concord, N.C. [ESPN Classic] 1:00 — Movie. Gladiator [TBS] 1:00 — Bowling. Woman's U.S. Open [ESPN] 1:00 — Movie. U.S. Marshals [Spike] 1:00 — Movie. Dumb & Dumber [WGN] 1:00 — Spanish WWE. Raw [Telemundo] 1:00 — Movie. Beverly ...
For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure ...
12:00 — College Football. Georgia Tech at Miami [ESPN] 12:00 — College Football. Illinois at Iowa [ESPN2] 12:00 — Movie. The Royal Tenenbaums [Comedy] 1:30 — Golf. Woman's Samsung World Championship [NBC] 1:30 — Movie. Shaft [TNT] 2:00 — TV. Survivorman [Discovery Channel] 3:00 — Movie. Blues Brothe...
Raise Your Hands If You're the Boom King
One night, two games, and two walk off hits. Frankly I think we deserved this, these playoff games are longer than Drew's Jambaroo. Manny Ramirez answered my prayers (not for a Red Sox win, just for the sweet release of sleep) and ended the long night with a thrilling walk-off homer to break the 3-3...
In Which Bonds And His Ex-Mistress Are Both Fully Exposed
As you may have heard by now, it seems that the November issue of Playboy has just about something for everyone. Six-page nude pictorial on ex-Barry Bonds mistress Kimberly Bell? Check. Bell's revelations about Bonds' steroid use, including eyewitness testimony concerning his shrunken testicles? Che...
Our Pick For The Worst Football Coach
We've already made fun of Norv Turned today, but, you know, at least he has shown some aptitude as an offensive coordinator in several different locals. If he weren't coaching the Chargers right now, we might not even be thinking about him — even praising him. But there's no excuse for Dave Wannsted...
Four o'clock games at a glance...
What in the blue hell is up with this Taco Bell commercial where cops are doling out high-fives while strings of cheese hanging out of their mouths? Are we supposed to find that appetizing?...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 3
Wow. They're really piling on Michigan today. They're talking about App State every chance they get, not failing to mention that 3 game losing streak, and even breaking out footage of the Kordell Stewart play. Are they going to dig up Bo and Gerald Ford and parade their dead bodies on ABC too just t...
In America It's Deviant, In the UK It's Cheeky
It turns out that Wayne Rooney isn't Manchester's only star player with a serious jonesin' for the pros. I can hardly blame the guy for setting up an orgy, he must have a ton of pent up energy what with not playing due to suspension and all, but did the over-sexed superstar (/fuckhead) really have t...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• In Progress — HS Football: DeMatha Catholic (BOOOO!) at St. Xavier [ESPN] • In Progress — MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta Braves [TBS] • In Progress — Music: Kool and the Gang Live In Denver [HDN] • In Progress — Tennis: U.S. Open Men's Third and Women's Fourth Round [CBS] • 3:00 — Golf: Deutsche Ba...