wan Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Charles Barkley Says He Will Stop Gambling, Starting ... NOW
Charles Barkley sat down with Ernie Johnson on the TNT set on Monday night before Game 7 of the Spurs-Hornets series, and declared before one and all that he is done with gambling. But for those wondering if the pledge will take, just watch the interview: It seemingly takes Charles only about a minu...

1st Round, Tenth Overall: Patriots Select Jerod Mayo
The Patriots finally picked up a linebacker under 35! And of course, they caught a few people off guard (guilty) by grabbing a guy who was low on many draft boards. Mayo started his Tennessee career at outside linebacker, but moved to the middle in 2007, and while he made a lot of plays (140 tackle...

Mayweather Practically Unbeatable When Armed With Metal Furniture
Remember the good old days, when boxers waited until they were old and washed up before turning up on the professional wrestling circuit? Of course then you don't make $20 million just for showing up, as Floyd Mayweather did on Sunday at WrestleMania XXIV in a completely legitimate not-at-all script...

Gee, Your New Rule Smells Terrific
There's now a proposal — by, surprisingly, the Kansas City Chiefs — to ban long hair in the NFL next season. The owners will consider it at their meetings in Palm Beach, Fla., next week, because, you know, all the major prblems with the league have been solved. The Steelers' Troy Polamalu is waiting...

About Last Night
What you missed while in jail ... • NBA: Take your time coming back, Yao. Rockets win 19th straight. • College basketball: Gonzaga losing to San Diego in the WCC final? Inconceivable! • NFL: Titans raid Colts, take OG Jake Scott. Peyton stocks up on aspirin....

The Ultimate Warrior Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks there's something morbidly fascinating about a guy who looks like he walked out of a Boris Vellejo painting and is also clinically insane....

Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?
So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum?...

Mock Japanese People Falling From the Comfort Of Your Own Couch
By the way, he's doing the obstacle course all wrong. If you go through it standing upright, it's a lot easier....

Fun With Stephen A. Smith Blog Comments
Our story so far: Stephen A. Smith started a blog, and then things got out of hand in the comments. So he heightened security; now requiring registration before one can comment. And that's a good thing, because now that all the jerks and racists are gone, all that remains is comedy gold....

It Is Time, Once Again, To Wank For A Cause
It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anyt...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after surviving the fierce crowd rush for Marlins season tickets ... • NFL: Chicago at Minnesota. 8:30 p.m. (ET). We all know what's at stake here. [ESPN] • College men's basketball: Albany at Duke. 7 p.m. (ET). This in no way should be over by halftime. [ESPN2] • NHL: Washington at De...

Submit Your Body Shots to Bruno Fierce
Craigslist is an almost endless source of entertainment if you're coming down off of a coke bender, otherwise it's good for the occasional laugh. Sometimes it's even a great source of information for the hot young trollops of New York who are looking for a chance to have champagne spilled on them by...

Ashley Young Wants You To Know His Body As Well As He Does
You see, now, this is what American sports desperately needs more of: Athletic superstars who masturbate on their Web cams. And you thought Curt Schilling's blog had poor spelling!...

About Last Night
What you missed while wondering why Anton Chigurh is so ornery... • CFB: Oklahoma was sent packing by that wacky "spread" offense of Texas Tech. • NBA: New Orleans is unstoppable. Plus the Wolves kinda suck. • CBB: UVA and Arizona squared off for the fourth straight year, the Cavaliers became the fi...

Your Heart Says No, But Your Eyes Say Yes
Grandpa returns home from the hospital today, and you're throwing a party to celebrate his successful triple-bypass surgery. But what can you serve that's both easy to prepare and economical? Thanks to the genius of And I Am Not Lying, your problems are solved!...

For Your Sunday Viewing Pleasure, Minus The NFL ...
12:05 — Movie. Enemy of the State [Encore] 1:00 — NASCAR. Nextel Cup in Concord, N.C. [ESPN Classic] 1:00 — Movie. Gladiator [TBS] 1:00 — Bowling. Woman's U.S. Open [ESPN] 1:00 — Movie. U.S. Marshals [Spike] 1:00 — Movie. Dumb & Dumber [WGN] 1:00 — Spanish WWE. Raw [Telemundo] 1:00 — Movie. Beverly ...

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure ...
12:00 — College Football. Georgia Tech at Miami [ESPN] 12:00 — College Football. Illinois at Iowa [ESPN2] 12:00 — Movie. The Royal Tenenbaums [Comedy] 1:30 — Golf. Woman's Samsung World Championship [NBC] 1:30 — Movie. Shaft [TNT] 2:00 — TV. Survivorman [Discovery Channel] 3:00 — Movie. Blues Brothe...


Raise Your Hands If You're the Boom King
One night, two games, and two walk off hits. Frankly I think we deserved this, these playoff games are longer than Drew's Jambaroo. Manny Ramirez answered my prayers (not for a Red Sox win, just for the sweet release of sleep) and ended the long night with a thrilling walk-off homer to break the 3-3...

In Which Bonds And His Ex-Mistress Are Both Fully Exposed
As you may have heard by now, it seems that the November issue of Playboy has just about something for everyone. Six-page nude pictorial on ex-Barry Bonds mistress Kimberly Bell? Check. Bell's revelations about Bonds' steroid use, including eyewitness testimony concerning his shrunken testicles? Che...