washington Page 114 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Washington Nationals's Big Off-Season Signing Is Batting .250 And Possibly Sitting To Go Number 1
Jayson Werth, the Washington Nationals's $126 million right-field prize, went 1-for-4 with one strikeout in his Beltway debut, a 2-0 loss to the Atlanta Braves....

We Are All Dave McKenna LVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is found face-down in a puddle....

We Heard From The Robot, And It Wrote A Better Story About That Perfect Game
This morning we covered Will Roberts, the University of Virginia player who threw a perfect game yesterday. More specifically, the game story at GWSports.com, which only bothered to mention the little fact of 27-up-27-down in the penultimate paragraph....

We Are All Dave McKenna LV (Pencil Dick Piñata Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets busted up like a Mexican birthday effigy....

College Pitcher Throws Perfect Game, Gets Mentioned In Seventh Paragraph Of Eight-Paragraph Game Story
Will Roberts of UVA threw a perfect game yesterday, only the 19th in D1 history and the first since 2002. But you wouldn't know it if you read the recap from George Washington University, which came out on the losing end of the feat....

We Are All Dave McKenna LIV (Abandoned Theme Park Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes up residence in Davy Jones' locker....

We Are All Dave McKenna LIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit has a warder looking down on it in the middle of the night....

We Are All Dave McKenna LII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit's lambs stop screaming. Today's topic: Pepper Rodgers, specifically the excerpt about him from McKenna's story. To wit:...

We Are All Dave McKenna LI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit becomes the Michael Lohan of the litigation world. Today's topic: Fun with Roman numerals....

We Are All Dave McKenna L
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is found at the bottom of the Potomac wearing concrete boots....

Jimmer Left The Court With A Bandage On His Chin, But Kyle Singler Probably Saw His Mom Crying
Your morning roundup for March 25, the day rockhopper penguins fight for their oil-slicked lives....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit has formaldehyde in its veins....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit behaves like foot fungus doused with tough actin' Tinactin....

Derrick Rose Made This Young Hawks Fan Cry
Your morning roundup for March 22 23, the day Glenn Beck contemplated launching his own channel, and we all contemplated launching ourselves off bridges....

Here's JaVale McGee's Pretty Nuts Mid-Air Steal-Block
So what if JaVale McGee authored the second-worst triple-double ever last week, while on the wrong side of a blowout? He still had 12 blocks!...

We Are All Dave McKenna XLVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit crawls into its death cave and lies down....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Padma tells Snyder's dumbass libel suit to pack its knives and go. Today's topic: Dan's weekend in the Big Easy....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is judicially spat upon. Today's topic: Looming scandals....

Tar Heels Advance, Face Aggressive-Looking Fan En Route To Locker Room
The North Carolina Tar Heels defeated the Washington Huskies with some help from officials who didn't bother double-checking the shot clock before giving the latter their final shot to conceivably tie the game. They also didn't bother to make a questionable goaltending call on John Henson, which wo...

Your NCAA Tournament Early Games/Return Of Gus Open Thread
Washington and North Carolina tip off at 12:15 p.m., followed by Michigan vs. Duke at 2:45 p.m. Who knows, maybe Jalen and Bobby and Grant and Tom will put on a halftime slap fight....