The Washington Nationals's Big Off-Season Signing Is Batting .250 And Possibly Sitting To Go Number 1

Jayson Werth, the Washington Nationals's $126 million right-field prize, went 1-for-4 with one strikeout in his Beltway debut, a 2-0 loss to the Atlanta Braves.

[O]n opening day, under a gunmetal-gray sky, they managed to hit five balls out of the infield. The Atlanta Braves' early spasm of offense earned them a 2-0 victory before 39,055 at Nationals Park, spoiling Jayson Werth's debut with a non-sellout shutout. [ Washington Post]

On the plus side, he's tied for the third-highest batting average on the team! On the minus side, a Center City Philadelphia bar is temporarily offering deals on a dainty, raspberry beer in Werth's "honor." Their sales pitch: "It's what Jayson Werth drinks when he sits to pee."

As a Philadelphian, I readily admit that that angle would've sold some framboise in '08 and, possibly, '09. To drunk Phillies fans wanting to honor a player, even though he never really seemed to mesh with the town, and even though it's a girlie beer.

I called my pal who runs the place, Jose Pistola's, after seeing this on The 700 Level this afternoon to get some backstory. Grudges are one thing; bringing bathroom habits into question are something altogether different.

"We always fuck with the description of that beer. 'It's like making love to Prince: Sweet and Purple,'" he said. Somebody originally put Werth's picture on the beer list with the word "douche" next to it. He nixed that because it was douchey, and offended his sensibilities. "C'mon. You can't have the word 'douche' on the beer list."

You can't? How do you explain Select 55, then?

Jose Pistolas Mocks Jayson Werth On Their Beer Menu [The 700 Level]

Werth becoming a villain in Philadelphia [Philly.com]

Nationals vs. Braves: Washington shut out in opener [Washington Post]