We Are All Dave McKenna LVII

Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is close-captioned in shut the fuck up.

This just in: Shane Feldman, Brian Kelly, and Paul Singleton have kicked the piñata stuffing out of Dan Snyder...in court. In 2003, Feldman asked the Redskins to put captions on the JumboTrons so he and other hearing-impaired fans could follow the calls on the field. Dan Snyder didn't want to hear it. After several years of futile emailing with the Redskins, Feldman got some heavies involved. From the court opinion:

In February 2006 the National Association of the Deaf (NAD), on behalf of Feldman, wrote to defendants and explained that as a place of public accommodation under the ADA, FedEx Field had a legal obligation to afford full and equal enjoyment of its goods, services, facilities, and privileges to spectators who are deaf or hard of hearing. The NAD demanded that defendants caption the stadium's public address system announcements on the "scoreboards/Jumbotrons."

Again, Dan Snyder didn't want to hear it. So Feldman and his crew sued a few months later. Only then did Dan Snyder make some changes, putting up captions on LED boards. Not good enough, the plaintiffs said. Dan Snyder hadn't captioned the lyrics to songs played during games, thereby denying the hearing-impaired full and equal enjoyment of tasteful Dan Snyder favorites like "Who Let the Dogs Out."

Dan Snyder then squirmed around in court for a spell, only to be gunned down in Fourth Circuit appeals, which has resulted in a just, if somewhat troubling, ruling:

[W]e agree with the district court that the music played over the public address system during Redskins home games is part of the football game experience that defendants provide as a good or service.

In the end, you see, Dan Snyder's hatred for the deaf has only made life more intolerable for all of us. That's because now, legally, the Redskins home football game experience includes song lyrics such as the following ones mentioned in the lawsuit:

"Y'all don't really want it but the young got time / With a flow so spec like . . . technologic / Shawty get loose, baby do what you do, let me see you let down your hair."

Baby, do what you do and drop a dollar in the City Paper's legal defense fund.