washington Page 99 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bryce Harper Will Train To Become A Firefighter In The Offseason So He'll "Have Something To Fall Back On"
Once upon a time, MLB players held jobs in the offseason. The good ones owned local businesses—car dealerships and the like—the not-so-good ones dug graves. But now that the owners and the union have thoroughly streamlined the process of separating you from your money, players don't need jobs in the...
Ron Washington Doesn't Like This One Bit
The offensive juggernaut that is the Texas Rangers found themselves on the other side of the coin last night, falling behind to the White Sox 18-0 before scratching two of their own runs across the plate. Another sub-par performance by Roy Oswalt is only part of the story, as a generally-robust Ran...
Denver Brewery Makes Clown Question Bro Beer, Bryce Harper Suggests Donating Proceeds To Fund For Daughter Of Slain Officer
Fine, so it was someone in Bryce Harper's stable of handlers, but still, it's a nice sentiment. "That's a clown question, bro" has taken on a life of it's own and a Denver brewery named a beer using the famous retort to join in on all the fun just as Harper was in town to play the Rockies....
![Tyler Clippard, Giant Jerk Animal Lover, Spits On Feeds Baby Ducks [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Tyler Clippard, Giant Jerk Animal Lover, Spits On Feeds Baby Ducks [UPDATE]
Reader Curtis took in the Nationals/Rockies game at Coors Field last night, another Rockies loss. As the game wound down he walked around the stadium only to come along a duck family that had wandered into the visitors' bullpen. Clippard purposefully walked between the ducklings and their parents,...
Joe Maddon Vs. Davey Johnson Is A Great Old Man Fight
"The most boring ejection in baseball history?" No way, man. Davey Johnson and Joe Maddon, two feisty and erudite managers representing the oldest of old and newest of new schools, have moved into their second day of sniping after Johnson alerted the umps to some pine tar on Joel Peralta's glove. Th...
We Would Pay Good Money To See A Clinton Portis-Joe Biden Buddy Film
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Portis loves Biden, and Dan Snyder too....
A "Foreign Substance" On Joel Peralta's Glove Resulted In The Most Boring Ejection In Baseball History
Normally, when our esteemed umpires throw someone out of the game, it's done with a flair and excitement that fans of both sides can usually get behind. But when the umpiring crew in tonight's Nationals-Rays game discovered a "foreign substance" on the glove of Rays reliever Joel Peralta, the result...
Harry Reid To Reporter: "That's A Clown Question, Bro"
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is a Mormon from Nevada. So is Bryce Harper. He works in D.C. (where he was answering a question from Roll Call's Steven Dennis about some immigration stuff involving Mitch McConnell and Mitt Romney). So does Harper (who coined this phrase less than a week ago, al...
Editor's Note: Suggesting Dan Snyder Is A Bullshitter Is Not As Libelous As Writing, "Dan Snyder Blows Dogs"
The previous post on Deadspin might have given the impression that Redskins owner Dan Snyder is a liar. Snyder takes such accusations very seriously, and so do we, which is why we now endeavor to answer the question: Is it libelous to suggest that Dan Snyder is a lying-ass shitbag vulgarian?...
Dan Snyder's Official Team Bio Is A Tour De Force Of Bullshit
When you think of Redskins owner Dan Snyder, you think of a miserable, gutless sack of shit who ruined a franchise and made an entire fanbase hate his guts. Ah, but that's just how Dan Snyder is perceived in the real world. The world of official team bios, on the other hand, is magical place where a...
Steve Urkel Threw Out The First Pitch In Washington, D.C. Yesterday
The problem with playing such a well-known and ridiculous character is that you completely lose any kind of personal identity you had before playing that character. We all know his name is Jaleel White, but who would ever call him that?...
Bryce Harper To Prying Canadian Reporter: "That's A Clown Question, Bro"
Must be tough doing business in the Toronto press corps. The town’s favorite team is toast by February every year. You can do “Where Is Gary Roberts Now?” or “At Home With Nazem Kadri” only so many times. Sometimes you have to write about the Blue Jays and their opponents, and, yes, there are a fe...
DeAngelo Hall Says RG3 Is "Light Years Ahead" Of Rookie Michael Vick
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The difference is mental....
Here's The Rest Of Trent "Silverback" Williams's Gorilla-Themed Basement
Yesterday we brought you the news that Washington Redskins OT Trent Williams has fully bought in to his "Silverback" nickname, decorating his basement with all sorts of gorilla art. We had a picture of one painting, a gorilla wearing Williams's 71 jersey. Now we've got the rest of the set, thanks to...
Trent Williams Owns A Painting Of Himself As A Gorilla, Because Of Course He Does
Redskins tackle Trent Williams has a nickname: Silverback. It's a self-bestowed nickname, but he's really committed to the idea. He dropped six figures on a massive diamond gorilla head chain, had Roger Goodell introduce him as Silverback when he was drafted, and apparently has remodeled his basemen...
David Segui Led A Parents' Uprising Against The Shady Coach At Bryce Harper's Junior College
Long before Bryce Harper injected D.C. with Natitude, he played for the College of Southern Nevada Coyotes. Harper was then the same athletic freak he is now. He left after one season because he was draft-eligible and the Nats offered a lot of money. But, according to sources quoted in the Las Veg...
Union Files Collusion Lawsuit Against NFL, Alleging Secret $123 Million Salary Cap In Uncapped Year
I've never been happier to admit I was wrong. Yesterday, the Redskins and Cowboys dropped their appeals of the NFL's salary cap penalties after being ruled against by rubber-stamp arbitrator Stephen Burbank, and I thought that was the end of it. The bad guys won. But the NFLPA had been saving its se...
The NFL Wins, Because The NFL Always Wins
There's no way that any sensible, thinking person who's not an NFL owner can honestly feel that the league acted justly in penalizing the Cowboys and the Redskins for spending their money and structuring their contracts the way they did during the uncapped 2010 season. But it doesn't matter, because...
The Phillies Had Extra Security In Right Field For Bryce Harper Last Night
Bryce Harper's main crime, since arriving in the big leagues, was his haircut, which was the most offensive thing not attached to a reliever's chin. Now that the haircut's gone, Harper's just a young, captivating, toolsy outfielder. Who should hate him?...
Stephen Strasburg and Some Other Guy Hit Back-To-Back Home Runs
Stephen Strasburg went yard this afternoon in the bottom of the fourth against the Baltimore Orioles. It came directly after Jesus Flores hit a home run making it back-to-back (and a belly-to-belly, some might say) home runs. It was Strasburg's first career home run....