washington Page 99 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Harry Reid To Reporter: "That's A Clown Question, Bro"
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is a Mormon from Nevada. So is Bryce Harper. He works in D.C. (where he was answering a question from Roll Call's Steven Dennis about some immigration stuff involving Mitch McConnell and Mitt Romney). So does Harper (who coined this phrase less than a week ago, al...
Editor's Note: Suggesting Dan Snyder Is A Bullshitter Is Not As Libelous As Writing, "Dan Snyder Blows Dogs"
The previous post on Deadspin might have given the impression that Redskins owner Dan Snyder is a liar. Snyder takes such accusations very seriously, and so do we, which is why we now endeavor to answer the question: Is it libelous to suggest that Dan Snyder is a lying-ass shitbag vulgarian?...
Dan Snyder's Official Team Bio Is A Tour De Force Of Bullshit
When you think of Redskins owner Dan Snyder, you think of a miserable, gutless sack of shit who ruined a franchise and made an entire fanbase hate his guts. Ah, but that's just how Dan Snyder is perceived in the real world. The world of official team bios, on the other hand, is magical place where a...
Steve Urkel Threw Out The First Pitch In Washington, D.C. Yesterday
The problem with playing such a well-known and ridiculous character is that you completely lose any kind of personal identity you had before playing that character. We all know his name is Jaleel White, but who would ever call him that?...
Bryce Harper To Prying Canadian Reporter: "That's A Clown Question, Bro"
Must be tough doing business in the Toronto press corps. The town’s favorite team is toast by February every year. You can do “Where Is Gary Roberts Now?” or “At Home With Nazem Kadri” only so many times. Sometimes you have to write about the Blue Jays and their opponents, and, yes, there are a fe...
DeAngelo Hall Says RG3 Is "Light Years Ahead" Of Rookie Michael Vick
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The difference is mental....
Here's The Rest Of Trent "Silverback" Williams's Gorilla-Themed Basement
Yesterday we brought you the news that Washington Redskins OT Trent Williams has fully bought in to his "Silverback" nickname, decorating his basement with all sorts of gorilla art. We had a picture of one painting, a gorilla wearing Williams's 71 jersey. Now we've got the rest of the set, thanks to...
Trent Williams Owns A Painting Of Himself As A Gorilla, Because Of Course He Does
Redskins tackle Trent Williams has a nickname: Silverback. It's a self-bestowed nickname, but he's really committed to the idea. He dropped six figures on a massive diamond gorilla head chain, had Roger Goodell introduce him as Silverback when he was drafted, and apparently has remodeled his basemen...
David Segui Led A Parents' Uprising Against The Shady Coach At Bryce Harper's Junior College
Long before Bryce Harper injected D.C. with Natitude, he played for the College of Southern Nevada Coyotes. Harper was then the same athletic freak he is now. He left after one season because he was draft-eligible and the Nats offered a lot of money. But, according to sources quoted in the Las Veg...
Union Files Collusion Lawsuit Against NFL, Alleging Secret $123 Million Salary Cap In Uncapped Year
I've never been happier to admit I was wrong. Yesterday, the Redskins and Cowboys dropped their appeals of the NFL's salary cap penalties after being ruled against by rubber-stamp arbitrator Stephen Burbank, and I thought that was the end of it. The bad guys won. But the NFLPA had been saving its se...
The NFL Wins, Because The NFL Always Wins
There's no way that any sensible, thinking person who's not an NFL owner can honestly feel that the league acted justly in penalizing the Cowboys and the Redskins for spending their money and structuring their contracts the way they did during the uncapped 2010 season. But it doesn't matter, because...
The Phillies Had Extra Security In Right Field For Bryce Harper Last Night
Bryce Harper's main crime, since arriving in the big leagues, was his haircut, which was the most offensive thing not attached to a reliever's chin. Now that the haircut's gone, Harper's just a young, captivating, toolsy outfielder. Who should hate him?...
Stephen Strasburg and Some Other Guy Hit Back-To-Back Home Runs
Stephen Strasburg went yard this afternoon in the bottom of the fourth against the Baltimore Orioles. It came directly after Jesus Flores hit a home run making it back-to-back (and a belly-to-belly, some might say) home runs. It was Strasburg's first career home run....
Headline On Radio Station Website Unintentionally Links Robert Griffin III, Masturbation, Jay Leno
You can see how this might happen, given everything. Robert Griffin III was on The Tonight Show late last night, and he beatboxed for Jay Leno, because there's nothing RGIII can't do, you see. Washington D.C.'s all-news station had the footage, and they wanted to post it on their website this mornin...
The Padres And Nationals Were Ready To Resume Play, But Three Of The Umpires Were Nowhere To Be Found
Umpires often like to say they're doing their jobs when no one notices them. But Tony Randazzo, Alan Porter, and Larry Vanover weren't trying to prove themselves when they literally disappeared for a moment yesterday at Nationals Park....
Stephen Strasburg Got Icy Hot On His Balls Today
The Stras got knocked around in just four innings of work against San Diego today, and maybe you'd be tempted to write it off as a fluke. Sometimes a guy just has a bad day. But this is Stephen Strasburg, and nothing can make him mortal. Nothing besides, perhaps, burning testicles....
The Capitals Are A Team Without A Coach Or A Plan
Dale Hunter will not return as coach of the Washington Capitals, it was announced just two days after the Caps lost a Game 7 in the Eastern Conference semifinals. It's a shock to just about everyone but the Capitals. As GM George McPhee said, "It wasn't unexpected." ...
Bryce Harper Needed 10 Stitches After Hitting Himself In The Face With His Bat
The Nationals beat the Reds last night 7-3 so it was really only an afterthought that Bryce Harper beat himself 10-0. After grounding out to second in the seventh inning, "Harper whacked a wall down the tunnel from the Nationals dugout with his bat." The bat then Mike Emricked off the wall and hit ...
Mike Rizzo Is Done Talking About Cole Hamels, Unless You Ask Him Again
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Standing by....
CBC's Ron MacLean Attempts Tortured Comparison Of Hockey Players To 9/11 First Responders, Fails
CBC host Ron MacLean opened tonight's coverage of the Stanley Cup playoff Game Six bout between the Capitals and Rangers with an extended and tortuous metaphor claiming the players were "like firefighters, like police officers," and throwing in 9/11 references....