we Page 290 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How The Hell Do The Patriots Do It?
Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels are rightly being universally praised for the game plan that resulted in last night’s complete ass whupping of the incompetent Texans. But the Patriots’ 3-0 start with a pair of inexperienced quarterbacks not named Tom Brady, and a total of 14 snaps with banged-up R...

Report: Jacoby Brissett Needs Surgery On His Thumb
New England Patriots quarterback Jacoby Brissett injured his thumb in Thursday’s game against the Houston Texans and will need surgery, according to Mike Petraglia of WEEI....

Mariners Catcher Steve Clevenger Suspended Without Pay For Tweets
The Seattle Mariners responded to backup catcher Steve Clevenger’s dogshit dumb tweets about protesters by suspending him without pay for the remaining 10 games of the season. Here is the relevant part of the statement released by general manager Jerry Dipoto:...

It's Time To Once Again Help Prove That Average Fans Are The Best Scouts In Baseball
One of the best off-field developments in baseball this year was MLB bringing in pseudonymous saberist Tom Tango to work with their Statcast data, the product of player-tracking technology that promises to unlock such mysteries of the game as the relative values of positioning and reaction time, and...

The Texans Were Tremendously Incompetent
The Patriots entered tonight’s game against the Texans as slight underdogs at home, despite a history of destroying Houston anytime they had a chance, especially at home. The Patriots were starting a rookie quarterback, the Texans came in hot at 2-0, and Gronk looked banged up, but the Patriots are ...


Don't Have Opinions About Other People's Underwear
Are your underwear emitting an odor of feces or stale urine or stagnant crotch-and-ass sweat that I can smell from a normal, respectful distance? Are you wearing some form of outer garment between your underwear and the outside world? Are you someone with whose underwear I may interact directly in t...

Here's A Truly Bonkers One-Handed Catch
Look at this catch, man. ...

Team North America Is Already Doing Cool Things (Update: They Can't Even Stop)
Hey! Go tell your boss to fuck off and put on North America/Sweden. Team USA is butt and already eliminated, but the U23 North Americans are so good and so fast and should be your favorite team unless you’re some weirdo from Canada....

We're Going Backwards On Racial Economic Equality
America’s devastating racial wealth gap is the clearest possible evidence of our nation’s racist history. If we ever want to deal with it, we have another problem to deal with first: the wages of black people are inexcusably low. And it’s getting worse. ...

Carson Wentz Sure Looks Legit
Carson Wentz won the second straight start of his professional career over the Bears tonight, 29-14. The Bears are no great foe (Pro Football Focus had their secondary as the second-worst in football), but Wentz led his offense this evening with rare composure for a neophyte. He threw for 190 yards,...

Report: The Browns Fired A Bunch Of Scouts Who Liked Carson Wentz
I do not know what the future holds for the careers of Jared Goff, Carson Wentz, or the buttload of draft picks the Browns received from Philadelphia for the rights to Wentz. I only know that Cleveland could desperately use a quarterback now and going forward, and that the Eagles firmly believe they...

It's Jacoby Brissett Time, I Guess
The New England Patriots had prepared to work around Tom Brady’s four-game suspension for the start of the season: Use Jimmy Garoppolo, err on the side of caution with anyone injured, and aim to scrape together a couple of wins. The team’s 2-0 after a 31-24 victory over the Miami Dolphins, but that ...

Lions And Titans Combine For 29 Penalties In A Battle Of The Inept
Today’s Titans-Lions game was a sloppy showing between two teams that seemed to have no self-discipline on the field....
![Jimmy Garoppolo Hurt His Shoulder [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/oq1gndknnqabl9n0mq5e.jpg)
Jimmy Garoppolo Hurt His Shoulder [Update]
The Jimmy Garoppolo era in New England has been suspended after the Patriots quarterback suffered a shoulder injury in today’s game....

Isaiah Crowell Embarrasses The Ravens Defense
Cleveland Browns running back Isaiah Crowell made the Baltimore Ravens defense look like ass when he ran 85 yards for the team’s second score of the game....

The Strangest Kickoff You'll Ever See Happened In A Real College Game
Eastern Michigan smoked Charlotte tonight, but the highlight of the game was a strangely-competent EMU team kicking off from the 49ers’ 20-yard line after a series of personal fouls drawn during and after the Eagles pulled off a pick-six. We never thought we’d see this once, but then we saw it again...

We Don't Remember The Sweatpants Kid, But Let's Remember Some Pants
An apologia of “Sweatpants Kid” over at New York magazine left some of our staff wondering: who was the Sweatpants Kid? Did he exist, and is it accurate to generalize his existence across era and geography? Some of us remembered, or even were Sweatpants Kid in grade school, and a few saw him persist...

This Is Maybe But Probably Not Tom Brady Secretly Calling In To A Radio Show
Boston radio show Toucher and Rich received an interesting call from a listener on Wednesday’s program. “Matt” from “San Diego” had a bone to pick with the radio hosts....